I'm way too competitive

unlucky513 · #1 07-05-2005, 03:54 PM

"i hate losing more than i love winning"
not sure which tennis player said that, but that is me in a nutshell. i take losing personally, and it often ruins my mood. this was never a problem when playing sports because the game was over, losing wouldnt affect my play.

however, you have to keep playing if you're playing poker. i often go on tilt after losing because it hurts.. i'm not mad about losing the money, i'm mad about losing in general. the fact that i can make the perfect play and still lose sickens me.

my question is, what can i do (other than walking away) to help lessen the blow of losing? does anyone else have this problem?

millerlolife · #2 07-05-2005, 04:23 PM

Im the same way. I think its good to really despise losing, it makes you want to win that much more. Just like the famous Vince Lombardi once said: "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser"

GreywolfNYC · #3 07-05-2005, 05:03 PM

Yes, I'm very much like you, but with one big exception. I will not go on tilt if i'm losing. I know that this is a grand claim but its true in my case. I will keep throwing away the junk hands by the hour, if need be. I am extremely competetive by nature and I have worked very, very hard on my poker game. If I am losing because the deck has been running cold or I've been missing my flops, thats fine. If however I've been losing because of bad play and mistakes that I'm making then I am extremely hard on myself. I will go over the bad plays in my head until I make sure that I never forget them. And then I go over them again.

TStoneMBD · #4 07-05-2005, 06:49 PM

ive recently come to a significant realization in that i become far more mad when i am losing than happy when i am winning, and as a result it causes me to enjoy the activity far less as im angry more often than im happy.

this has a huge negative influence on my poker play and is something that im trying to find a solution to.

one thing that i have realized is that in general, i am alot less competitive in most things than i used to be. i used to be that guy who had to win no matter what game he was playing. now i really dont care as much.

being competitive gives you that killer drive that will make you the better than anyone else on average. when you lose that edge you are far less likely to succeed in your attempts at things in life.

you need to find a nice mix of being extremely competitive, but enjoy winning more than hating losing while understanding that losing is just part of the game and its no big deal. i think it may be humanly impossible to find an optimal mix of those two mindsets but in a perfect world it would be ideal.

ds914 · #5 07-05-2005, 08:10 PM

I have a good friend who I think could make a great poker player -- he's good with numbers, devotes himself entirely to new pursuits, and he's very computer-savvy. He has the makings of a great online player -- but I've been hesitant to recommend it because of his temper.

He's a terrible loser. Playing golf or tennis with him quickly became tiresome because he would become so competitive. He'd argue calls, break clubs, yell at bystanders, etc. There's no way he could handle a bad beat or a downswing.

It's too bad. I'd love to have someone discuss poker with.

mosdef · #6 07-05-2005, 09:46 PM

[ QUOTE ]
my question is, what can i do (other than walking away) to help lessen the blow of losing? does anyone else have this problem?

[/ QUOTE ]

i think the answer to this will depend on WHY you hate losing. what makes you so angry when you lose? who are you angry with?

Bodhi · #7 07-05-2005, 10:11 PM

Deal with it, that's what you can do.

TheCroShow · #8 07-05-2005, 10:20 PM

i don't think there is such a thing as being too competitive. it is possible to over-react though. losing a big hand through sound poker play happens all too often..nothing you can really do about it. just go "damn it!" and then move on. unfortunately luck plays a part in poker.

do not lose your competitive edge, any winner has to be competitive.

"losers do their best, winners go home and xxxx the prom queen."

Buck_65 · #9 07-05-2005, 11:09 PM

I have the same problem for sure. Winning just feels right, and losing feels like punishment for existing. The best thing I do for myself is to convince myself before I begin playing that I thoroughly understand the huge swings, and that one session is essentially meaningless.

Whatever happens, happens. In any given session, you may lose every hand. If you won every time because you're better than most players, that would mean there are players who lose every time (not to say there aren't already). They would quickly quit the game because they can't find anything using their selective memory that is positive about playing poker.

Blackdirt12 · #10 07-06-2005, 01:04 AM

The only decent thing my father ever told me was this
"Son, it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it matters if you have fun." He paused, looked off and then turned to look me in the eye. "Well, it's no fun to lose."
With that being said, I don't think a hatred of losing is your problem. Judging by your avatar, I'd say you like it.