pirate walks into a bar

[astroglide]

the barkeep asks, "do you know you have a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?" the pirate says, "ARRRRG...IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!"

[nolanfan34]

I'll admit I laughed at that. Simple, but funny, always works.

[cnfuzzd]

ZING!!!

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, ive got a drink named after you!" To which the grasshopper replies "Youve got a drink named Henry?"

Ba Da Dum.

peace

john nickle

[JustDerek]

I'm a little ashamed that I laughed out loud at that.

...wait, no I'm not. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[astroglide]

it was written on a bathroom wall at a bar i visited on monday, i thought it was hilarious

[ArchAngel71857]

how can you read that and not laugh out loud?
[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

-AA

[Rushmore]

The Pirate's Alphabet:

ABCDEFGH--"AAAAAYE"--JKLMNOPQ--"AAAAAARRR"--STUVWXYZ.

Lame, but I laughed when I heard it out loud.

[mikech]

A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve string here, it's bar policy."

The piece of string leaves very upset, but finds a passerby on the street and asks him to tie him into a knot and fray his ends. The friendly passerby is baffled but obliges. The string returns to the bar, hops on the barstool and asks for a drink again. The bartender does a double-take and says, "Hey, aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

[Chah Ngo]

Bartender walks up to a guy at the bar and asks: "What'll you have?"
Guy says, "I'll have a beer and get that douchebag down at the end anything she wants - on my tab."
Bartender says, "I'll get the lady her drink but there is no reason to call people names. Let's keep it civil."
The Bartender tells the lady "The guy at the other end of the bar wants to buy you a drink, what'll you have?"
Lady replies. " A vinegar and water, please."

[daryn]

none of the jokes so far have made me even crack a smile.

let's get some funny jokes here people.