Why Can't I Move Up?

[Dave H.]

I'm almost embarrassed...no, dammit, I AM embarrassed to admit this. In fact, if I didn't know for a fact that others have experienced it, I WOULDN'T admit it...I CAN'T MOVE TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

Ok, now that I've admitted it, I'm waiting for relief...I knew it, I still feel bad!

I started at .02/.04 about a year and a half ago with $12 of "their" money. I've only invested "my own money" in 4 books (the best ones suggested on this site) and they're worn out from having been read so many times. I wouldn't advance until I had the required 300 BB for the next level and then I'd require an extra 100 BB cushion for myself before advancing. When I moved up, I made a promise to myself that, if I got hit immediately with a 50 BB loss, I'd move back down until I regained the loss. Well, that 50 BB loss never happened immediately, so I never had to move down.

I played through the .02/.04, .05/.10, .10/.20, and .25/.50 levels and it took me until last April to get the required bankroll ($400 in my case) to play the .50/$1 tables.

When I had the bankroll to play $1/$2 ($800), I put my big toe in, won a few hands, and chickened right out. I did this several times, but couldn't muster the WHATEVER to continue and dropped back down to .50/$1 again. Then when I had enough to play $2/$4 ($1600), I tried the $1/$2 and the $2/$4 tables. The same *&(%$# thing happened. I won a little money, and then that ridiculous fear overpowered me and I moved back down to .50/$1

I even took a shot at $3/$6 when my roll got to $2,400 and won there and backed down again!!!

My sample size at $1/$2, $2/$4, and $3/$6 is ridiculously low so I certainly can't say I'm a winner at those levels by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't play a lot of bonuses and I have rakeback at only two sites, so those two items haven't contributed a great deal to my winnings. I have now played approximately 200,000 hands at .50/$1 and have a win rate (EXclusive of rakeback and bonuses) of 10 BB per hour playing roughly 20 hours per week over the last 10 months and 4 tabling for the most part.

I obviously have WAAAY more than I need, even for a shot at $5/$10. I have about $9,000 now.

I was a very conservative player initially and it took a lot to go from weak passive to weak tight to TAG, but advice on this forum got me there.

Can I get some opinions, advice, comments, and maybe hear from others who are experiencing, or have experienced this kind of "move up" fear. It's really the only thing I hate about poker!

Thanx much!