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#32
11-19-2005, 05:43 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
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2 dudes 1 girl?!?!?! not perfect!!1 [/ QUOTE ] we all agree that it's not as good as man/man, but some people wouldn't be weirded out if she watched. 
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#33
11-19-2005, 06:06 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
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Let me add a little tid bit more... I told her that if she waited a couple months, during the summer, I would take her to Europe myself. I have been there twice, and I know my way around. This other guy friend has not. She commented that she'd love to go with me, moreso than with him, but she needs to get out of this place as soon as she can, for a bit. She's lived here her whole life. [/ QUOTE ] Okay, that changes things. Now you *really* need to break up with her. That's a total BS excuse for her to leave earlier, especially when she knows that it is bothering you. Maybe she *wants* you to break up with her? Sometimes women put us into these types of situations in order for us to be the one to do the break-up. If she broke up with you first, she'd look like a [censored] because it would look like she did it solely in order to travel "unencumbered" through Europe with some other dude. However, if you break up with her, it's a different story.
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#34
11-19-2005, 06:07 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
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Maybe it's because I'm older, or because my best friend is female (and we don't have a sexual relationship), but I don't automatically assume anytime my girlfriend spends time with another guy there's a risk they'll somehow have sex. If they do, well, whoops, I'll have to find a new girlfriend. I'd rather find out ASAP that my girlfriend is prone to cheating then put a lot of effort into protecting myself from getting cheated on. I mean, honestly, if your girlfriend is going to cheat, she's going to cheat. Preventing her from going to europe with her friend isn't going to stop it, it will merely delay it. Are you going to restrict her from seeing her male friend completely? What if they get lunch together and accidentally have sex at his place afterwards? If you have issues with trusting your girlfriend don't be her boyfriend. [/ QUOTE ] I agree with this. A lot of my closest friends are women and there was nothing worse than past girlfriends who get jealous of our friendships. Thankfully, my fiancee is cool about this (perhaps because she has a couple of close male friends herself). Also, it may be MUCH easier for her to commit to traveling for a few months with someone that she has absolutely no romantic interest in than with someone she really likes but has only been seeing for three months. for many people, agreeing to travel for that long in a relatively new relationship is far too daunting a commitment. If you like her enough to want to make it work long term and trust her enough then I think you should about coming to terms with the situation. If on the other hand you are not that into her then whatever. A good question to ask yourself might be whether you would still be interested in her if she was going to Europe by herself for three months of college. If you think you would want to stay together even if you couldn't see her for that time, then maybe getting over the (very understandable) distrust you feel in this situation may be the best thing for your longer term happiness.
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#37
11-19-2005, 06:27 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
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why is she even considering this, anyway? that's incredibly disrepectful, even if you've only been going out for three months. [/ QUOTE ] That's what I was wondering. That she announced she was bored and needed to get out of town and wanted to go backpack with a male companion seems totally disrespectful and selfish. Even if she doesn't intend to cheat does she realize she's causing you pain and worry?
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#38
11-19-2005, 06:43 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
I'd very likely be comfortable letting her go. Hell, even if she decides this dude is more up her alley than you...more power to her.
The chances are that she won't and nothing will happen. Also, if she gets plastered and starts hookin' up with random dudes...aren't you glad you figured it out after only 3 months? You've gotta be less insecure in general about these sorts of scenarios (she does too and by she I don't necessarily mean this chick) to have any hope of acheiving a relationship that you'll want to be in for longer than like 5 years. Yugoslav
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#39
11-19-2005, 07:01 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
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[ QUOTE ] She commented that she'd love to go with me, moreso than with him, but she needs to get out of this place as soon as she can, for a bit. She's lived here her whole life. [/ QUOTE ] That's the topper for me. If she cannot wait a few more months to go with her boyfriend instead of just a "friend" I think that is a clear sign of her lack of committment to your relationship. Move on as painlessly as possible. [/ QUOTE ] You've only been dating her for three months. You've been more than fair. If she doesn't get it, dump her and move on.
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#40
11-19-2005, 07:06 PM
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Re: Girlfriend Trouble?
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She "SWEARS" he doesn't have feelings like that for her anymore, and that she'd never cheat on me if she went, etc. etc. etc... [/ QUOTE ] this is so true and so false. she likely would do nothing with him and IMO has made it very clear that she is not interested in him in that way, but for some reason ALL women are (a) too stupid to realize when a guy is clearly after them or (b) too stubborn to admit it.
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