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#1
06-26-2005, 11:02 PM
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Are my friends retarded?
I got bored a few days ago and the fighting a dog thread inspired me, so in my livejournal I made this entry. I thought it was obvious that this was a joke.
[ QUOTE ] I need some advice. Notice how I haven't posted any poker updates lately? Well... I lost a lot of money. I'm actually in debt. Going to that poker hall the guy in my anger management class recommended was a bad idea. I owe 20k to one of the guys there. I didn't know it at the time, but they're a rather shady bunch. I found out he runs a pitbull fighting ring, along with god knows what else. Anyhow, he wants the 20k in 2 weeks. Yes, I realize I'm an idiot for borrowing 20k from a random person in a shady underground poker hall full of old businessmen, that's beside point. When someone just offers you 20k, it's kinda hard to not take it. I told him I didn't have it and there was no way I could make it in 2 weeks. He says I can either give him the 20k OR, get this, I can fight one of his pitbulls. Apparently it's not that unusual but it's hard to find people to do it. I'd have to go up to Chicago but I think that's the least of my problems. Taking on an attack trained dog shouldn't be that hard, right? I'm about 5'7" 130lbs. I must have at least 50lbs on it, intelligence, more natural weapons (he only has his jaw) and reach. Anyone? Opinions? I think I can take it. [/ QUOTE ] Every single one of my friends believed it. Isn't it obvious that story is made up? I mean, come on, a death match with a pitbull for 20k? Yesterday, my mom came into my room and started asking me if I was in trouble. She went into a speech on how my parents love me more than anyone and they can help me, etc. I tell her I'm fine. She then accuses me of being in debt and losing all my money. She starts yelling at me about how these people will kill me if I don't pay them. I'm under the influence of... something. I have to control myself from laughing so I hold my head in my hands and lean on my desk. I'm assuming this looks like a very guilty pose. She won't stop talking about how she will help me and I should get a loan from the bank to pay them off. Eventually, she tells me to look her in the eye and tell her. This same influence would make it blatantly obvious if I looked her in the face, so, obviously, I can't do that. I end up leaving without looking her in the face, going to steak n shake and stuffing myself silly. Moral of the story, my mom is a dumbass and apparently reads my livejournal. It pisses me off that she does it without telling me, called me a liar and won't say why she thinks I'm in debt. I need ideas on my next entry to drive her crazy. I'm considering talking about my new boyfriend or coke habit. 
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#2
06-26-2005, 11:07 PM
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Re: Are my friends retarded?
It should be this:
"This will be my last post for a couple weeks, I'm heading off to Chicago, I hope to see you all soon" followed in 2 weeks by this: "WOW THAT WAS EXILIERATING!!!! I won my way through the pitbull fighting ranks and earnt 100k before killing everybody and stealing their cocaine."
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#5
06-26-2005, 11:10 PM
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Re: Are my friends retarded?
Tell here it's a joke?
Also, Link to comments? -Craig
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#6
06-26-2005, 11:17 PM
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Re: Are my friends retarded?
Tell your mom the truth.
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#7
06-26-2005, 11:18 PM
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Re: Are my friends retarded?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] um, are you retarded? seriously, if you fight a pitbull, it's going to tear you the [censored] apart. i suggest you come up with the money and never act so stupid ever again. [/ QUOTE ]kurosh:AT MOST, it's a 70lb DOG. i'm a 130lb HUMAN. i will kick it in the head. end of story. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I've gotta say, I haven't really heard of anything so stupid. Your best bet at this point is to Party Poker your [censored] ass off, and hope for the best. Fighting Dogs are starved and vicious, and WILL seriously injure you. [/ QUOTE ]kurosh:wtf? why does no one have faith in me. I AM BIGGER, STRONGER AND SMARTER. [/ QUOTE ]:\ Bigger, anyway. [/ QUOTE ]download some of those "when animals attack" videos if you don't believe that a 70 lb. dog can [censored] you up. [/ QUOTE ]kurosh:have you read the news lately? a 70 year old man killed a leopard with his bare hands. leopard > pitbull. if a 70 year old man can kill a leopard, i sure as hell can [censored] up a pitbull. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] hmmm yikes. i suggest that you get yourself out of this mess the same way you got in. have you other means of earning cash through your ridiculous poker skills? rely on what's gotten you this far, and use it. good luck man. [/ QUOTE ] I let people in on it after this point because a couple were freaking out and worrying about me a lot.
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#10
06-26-2005, 11:29 PM
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Re: Are my friends retarded?
[ QUOTE ]
Ok, but, isn't this blatantly a joke? It's not just one or two people who fell for this, it's EVERYONE. [/ QUOTE ] You need smarter friends. And tell your mom the truth.
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