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  #71  
Old 12-29-2005, 07:59 PM
The Ocho The Ocho is offline
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Location: NH
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

semi-rantish:

Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that [censored] dog.
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  #72  
Old 12-29-2005, 08:13 PM
Keats13 Keats13 is offline
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room - and someone who'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy's not enjoying it?

You know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things are funny or mildly amusing! You're a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for ya! And, oh, here's a gun so you can blow your brains out, you'll thank me for it!"

I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face! And they'd say, "How can you stand it?" And I'd say, "Because I've been with Del Griffith, I can take anything!" Y'know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy...whoa!" It's like going on a date with a Chatty-Kathy doll. I expect you to have a string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would! Dyah dyah dyah dyah!

And, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it makes it so much more interesting for the listener!
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  #73  
Old 12-29-2005, 08:14 PM
beta1607 beta1607 is offline
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

Ricky: You stupid [censored] [censored]. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, [censored]. You just cost me $6,000. $6,000, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it, [censored]? You're [censored] [censored]. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid [censored] [censored], you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men?
Detective (Jude Ciccolella): Could I, uh---
Ricky: Oh, I'm gonna have your job, [censored]. I'm going downtown. I'm gonna talk to Mitch and Murray. I'm going to Lemkin! I don't care whose nephew you are, who you know, whose dick you're sucking on, you're going out. I swear to you, you're going--
Detective: Hey, fella, let's get this done.
Ricky: Anyone in this office lives on his wits. I'm gonna be with you in a second. What you're hired for is to help us. Does thot seem clear to you? To help us! Not to [censored] us up! To help men who are going out there to try to earn a living, you fairy. You company man. I'll tell you something else, I hope you ripped the joint off. I can tell our friend here something might help him to catch you. You wanna learn the first rule you'd know if you ever spent a day in your life? You never open your mouth till you know what the shot is. You [censored] child.

link to the audio
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  #74  
Old 12-29-2005, 08:18 PM
SL__72 SL__72 is offline
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

I'm not sure these qualify as rants, but all the gun talk made me think of them:

Turkish: [censored] me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey [censored] balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... [censored] off.


The bit about feeding dead bodies to pigs was good too, but again, not sure it qualifies.
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  #75  
Old 12-29-2005, 08:29 PM
Buckmulligan Buckmulligan is offline
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

Jerry Maguire

Don't worry... don't worry. I'm not gonna do... what you all think i'm gonna do, which is just flip out!! But let me just say, as I ease out of the office, that i helped build... I'm sorry, but it is a fact... that there is such a thing... as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners. These fish have manners. In fact, they're coming with me. I'm starting a new company, and the fish are coming with me. You can call me sentimental, but the fish are coming with me.
(he takes a long beat scooping two goldfish into a plastic baggie)
Now. If you come with me, this will be the moment of something new, and fun, and inspiring in this GOD FORSAKEN business. And we will do it together. So... who's coming with me? who's coming with me and (he points at the baggie, thinks) flipper, here? Huh? (he makes little finger gestures) Who's coming with me? WHO'S COMING WITH ME?
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  #76  
Old 12-29-2005, 08:55 PM
surfinillini surfinillini is offline
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

[ QUOTE ]
My favorite 2

Pulp Fiction
"Jules: Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' [censored], [censored]! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm SUPERFLY T.N.T, I'm the GUNS OF THE NAVARONE. In fact, what the [censored] am I doin' in the back? You're the [censored] should be on brain detail. We're [censored]' switchin' right now. I'm washin' the windows and you're pickin' up this nigga's skull"

SLC Punk
"Stevo: The Fight: What does it mean and where does it come from? An Essay: Homosapien. A man. He is alone in the universe. A punker. Still a man. He is alone in the universe, but he connects. How? They hit each other. No clearer way to evaluate whether or not you're alive. Now. Complications. A reason to fight. Somebody different. Difference creates dispute. Dispute is a reason to fight. Now, to fight is a reason to feel pain. Life is pain. So to fight with reason is to be alive with reason. Final analysis: To fight, a reason to live. Problems and Contradictions: I am an anarchist. I believe that there should be no rules, only chaos. Fighting appears to be chaos. And when we slam in the pit a show it is. But when we fight for a reason, like rednecks, there's a system, we fight for what we stand for, chaos. Fighting is a structure, fighting is to establish power, power is government and government is not anarchy. Government is war and war is fighting. The circle goes like this: our redneck skirmishes are cheap perversions of conventional warfare. War implies extreme government because wars are fought to enforce rules or ideals, even freedom. But other people ideals forced on someone else, even if it is something like freedom, is still a rule; not anarchy. This contradiction was becoming clear to me in the fall of '85. Even as early as my first party, "Why did I love to fight?" I framed it, but still, I don't understand it. It goes against my beliefs as a true anarchist. But there it was. Competition, fighting, capitalism, government, THE SYSTEM. That's what we did. It's what we always did. Rednecks kicked the [censored] out of punks, punks kicked the [censored] out of mods, mods kicked the [censored] out of skinheads, skinheads took out the heavy metal guys, and the heavy metal guys beat the living [censored] out of new wavers and the new wavers did nothing. What was the point? Final summation? None. "

[/ QUOTE ]

SLC was a really good movie imho
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  #77  
Old 12-29-2005, 09:07 PM
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

[ QUOTE ]
Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few marines! God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?


[/ QUOTE ]

greatest rant ever
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  #78  
Old 12-29-2005, 09:33 PM
HoldingFolding HoldingFolding is offline
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Osaka, Japan
Posts: 52
Default Re: favourite movie rants

[Gal is sunbathing by poolside]
Oh, yeah. Bloody hell. I'm sweating in here. Roasting. Boiling. Baking. Sweltering. It's like a sauna. Furnace. You can fry an egg on my stomach. Ohh, who wouldn't lap this up? It's ridiculous. Tremendous. Fantastic. Fan-dabby-dozy-tastic. People say, "Don't you miss it, Gal?" I say, "What, England? Nah. [censored] place. It's a dump. Don't make me laugh. Grey, grimy, sooty. What a [censored] hole. What a toilet. Every [censored] with a long face shuffling about, moaning, all worried. No thanks, not for me." They say, "What's it like, then, Spain?" And I'll say, "It's hot. Hot. Oh, it's [censored] hot. Too hot? Not for me, I love it."

Juxtaposed with:

Shut up, [censored]. You louse. You got some [censored]' neck ain't you. Retired? [censored] off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a [censored] suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like [censored] Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?
[He gut-punches Gal]
Don: What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and [censored] off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, [censored] off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're [censored] trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?
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  #79  
Old 12-29-2005, 10:10 PM
HoldingFolding HoldingFolding is offline
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Default Re: favourite movie rants

One more for the rodeo:

Ray: She took his dinner in to him once. Me mum, in the pub, and plonked it in front of him on a tray. Knife and fork, salt and pepper. He said, "What's that?" She said, "It's your dinner. I thought you might be hungry. You ain't eaten for three [censored] days. You live in here, you might as well [censored] eat in here." It's funny. He didn't like that, did he? Mugged him up in front of his mates. Thought more of them [censored] than he did us. Lovely. Yeah. She got a clump over that. Well, she would, wouldn't she? He was always pissed in there, weren't he? You know? We go in the pub to get our living, you know? That's where we do our business. He'd be there spunking out while we're sitting at home without a dinar, you know, thank you. And he'd promise things. You know? Promise to take us places, you know? Never did. Never took us anywhere. And when he did bother to come home he'd sit in that [censored] chair, doss off with his tray in his lap. And I'd just stand there looking at him. I'd look in his face, and my mother'd go upstairs, and I'd say, "Say, Mum, ain't Daddy coming to bed?" And she'd say, "No. No, he's all right, son. He'll come up when he wakes up." He's gotta wake up to go to bed! Now, I'd stand there looking at this [censored] old man, you know, my dad, you know, in that chair, that horrible [censored] chair with the shiny, worn-out arms. I should've burnt the [censored] thing. By the end he was hemorrhaging from both ends, you know? I used to hear him in the morning hanging on to the kharzi. It was lovely. Never stopped him going to the pub, though. No, he was well enough to do that. Now, one day, right, he's staggering across the pub pissed from the night before. He's gone over, crunch, right on his mooey, like a [censored] ironing board. His hooter's around here, his railings all over the [censored] place. Me and me mum had to go the hospital to see him. We walked in. He's laying in bed. He's got tubes up his arms, [censored] up his nose, down the back of his Gregory. He didn't look well. [censored] vodka was keeping him alive. Well, I ain't that interested, so I'm having a little mooch about, you know. I looked above his bed, and there's this sign, right, with some weird writing on it. I couldn't read too well at the time. I said to my mum, "Mum, what's that say? You know, that sign above Daddy's head." All right? She said, "Nil by mouth." "What's that, a football score?" One-nil, three-nil, two-nil, a geezer called [censored] Nil. Yeah. I said, "Well, what's it mean?" She said, "It means..."
Mark: It means nothing to eat.
Ray: Yeah, nothing down the...
[points into his mouth]
Mark: Nothing down the... Yeah.
Ray: Yeah, all right. I remembered that day, because I could've put that on his [censored] tombstone, you know? Because I don't remember one kiss, you know, one cuddle. Nothing. I mean, plenty went down, not a lot came out, you know, nothing that was any [censored] good. And I'd look at this man that I call Dad, you know? My father, I knew him as Dad. He was my [censored] dad but he weren't like other kids' dads, you know? It was as if the word itself were enough, and it ain't.
Mark: That ain't when he died though, is it?
Ray: No. He lived another ten years, slippery old [censored]. He died one afternoon in that [censored] armchair. About right. I went around to see him, you know, when he was plotted up at me mother's.
Mark: Hatcham Road?
Ray: Yeah, Hatcham Road. He was upstairs in that front bedroom. Laid out.
Mark: Free.
Ray: Yeah. Yeah. I've gone up there, gone in. I'm sitting on the bed looking at him. He's laying there like... Mullered. And it was like he'd shrunk, you know? He was a big man.
Mark: He was a lump.
Ray: Yeah. You should know. You got enough clumps off the [censored]. (sighs) And I just touched him, you know? He was [censored] freezing cold. It frightened the life out of me. I was looking at him, you know? For the first time in my life, I talked to him. I said, "Why didn't you ever love me?"
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  #80  
Old 12-29-2005, 10:29 PM
jba jba is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 672
Default Re: favourite movie rants

a couple more


[ QUOTE ]
"Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished readin' some Marxian historian -- Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that 'til next month when you get to James Lemon, and then you're gonna be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year -- you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about, you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization... Wood drastically -- Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth.' You got that from Vickers, 'Work in Essex County,' page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you...is that your thing? You come into a bar. You read some obscure passage and then pretend...you pawn it off as your own idea just to impress some girls and embarrass my friend? See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One: don't do that. And two: You dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f----n' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.

[/ QUOTE ]



#2:

[ QUOTE ]

"How To Fake Like You Are Nice and Caring."
This is...obviously...quite an important
section...I mean, let's face it...face the
facts...Men Are [censored], right? I mean,
that is what they all say. We've all done
bad things...bad things that no woman
has ever done...that's what they say.
We As Men are taught to apologize: "I've done wrong."
"I'm sorry." "My needs as a man made me..."
Something, something...[censored]....well what
I would like to say....
If you feel, made to feel like you need
them, like -- like you can't live if
you're without them or you need, what?
They're pussy? They're love? [censored] that.
Self Sufficient, gents. That's the truth.
What you are -- we are -- you need them
for what? To [censored] make you a piece of
snot rag? A puppett? huh? Hear them
bitch and moan? bitch and moan --
and we're taught one thing -- go the other
way -- there is No Excuse I will give you,
I'm not gonna apologize -- I'm not gonna
apologize for my NEED my DESIRE...my, the
things that I need as a man to feel comfortable...
You understand? You understand? You need
to say something, "my mommy hit me or
daddy hit me or didn't let me play soccer,
so now I make mistakes, cause a that -- something,
so now I piss and [censored] on it and do this."
[censored]. I'm sorry. ok. yeah. no. [censored].
go. [censored]. alright. go make a new mistake.
maybe not, I dunno...[censored]....

[/ QUOTE ]
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