A moral dilemma

[Kirkrrr]

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this is coming from a guy who basically forced his parents to take $12k so they can make their mortgage payments.

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The crux of the problem is that it's not for mortgage payments. If it was for something like that, I would never have a second thought. It's all for "luxuries," as another poster put it, to which there is no end.

But, yeah, sounds like a talk is definitely in order. While sitting down on some brand new furniture. lol

I am also wondering how some of y'all have handled this with your family/loved ones in the past - girlfriends, wives, parents, friends, etc. How do you make 100K+ /year, and still say no when someone close to you asks for $100 that you know you probably won't get back? - I find it very difficult to do.

Kirk

[Clarkmeister]

Do your parents live together still? Do you live with them? What's their employment/income situation? How responsible are they? All of these are relevant factors that determine the tone of your discussion.

That said, based on the limited info available, I'd start with "Mom, I'll give you the $1,200 this time, and you don't have to pay me back for either it or any of the other money you've borrowed, but I can't afford to be constantly put in these situations. I love you, but it's not fair to me, or to you either, really.

[AlexSem]

My parents have the decency to respect that I make w/e I make and spend it as I like, they never asked me for money.

I pay for my bro when we go shopping and stuff like that and it just doesn't matter to me because to him 200$ is a big deal whereas to me it's an hour worth of poker.


I say just make sure you give people money on your own terms, not on theirs. It should not be "hey I need money". It should be "here I'll take care of that don't worry about it".

That way you're always in control.


In your situation, you can't avoid paying, lol. How to get to a stage where it's on your terms again, I am not sure.

I guess you gotta tell them you feel a bit uncomfortable with the situation or whatever.

[cdxx]

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The crux of the problem is that it's not for mortgage payments. If it was for something like that, I would never have a second thought. It's all for "luxuries," as another poster put it, to which there is no end.

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understandably, but $1200 is not $12k either. sure, have a talk. it won't hurt, unless one of you starts being rude. i just advise that your tone will be more like "here's the money, but please don't use it on luxuries. use it when you really need it, because i can't support you and this won't be a monthly thing."

of course, i would only bring it up IF and WHEN it actually becomes a monthly thing.

[Clarkmeister]

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i would only bring it up IF and WHEN it actually becomes a monthly thing.

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Sounds like it already has.