Should i continue with online poker career or return to 9-5 job?

[Greg (FossilMan)]

Paul, my post was meant as a cute joke, given the situation. However, since I had a full time job with full benefits (until I quit a week after winning the WSOP), my wife had no problem with my playing poker as a 2nd job. If I had quit Pfizer before winning the WSOP and played poker full-time instead, she would have had a huge problem with it. But she had no problems with what I was actually doing at that time, as poker winnings had done a lot for us, including putting up the downpayment on our house in CT.

I have no significant advice for you. Doing what makes you happiest is too simplistic to be really useful advice. Of course, your happiness is a big part of the answer, but it is not everything. If it was everything, then there is no give and take in your marriage. And even if your wife was going to be happy with you doing whatever maximized your own personal happiness, that's still not an option anymore when you have kids. They deserve consideration as well.

Thus, you have to balance what is best for them, with what is best for you alone, and make a decision. It's going to be a tough decision, and I don't envy you the task.

Later, Greg Raymer (FossilMan)

[grandgnu]

I wouldn't worry about "social circles", but then again, I'm not some hob-nobbing snob. I'm only 28, but I've noticed that as you grow older, you don't really keep in contact with as many people.

I don't really have a "social circle", just aquantinces for the most part.

Poker is great, in that it can provide you with a lot more free time. Most people in the U.S. work way too many hours, and don't have time to spend with their families, or social or luxury time.

The problem you face is that you're trying to maintain a certain "lifestyle". While being able to afford new "stuff" is always nice, free time is one of the most precious things you can earn.

If you're able to live comfortably, without fear of being unable to cover any emergency situations, then the freedom that poker allows is always welcome.

Right now, I'm just going "semi-pro". I don't depend on poker to pay the bills, and I don't mix my poker money with my "regular" money.

You seem insecure in your long-term viability playing poker. I would definetely recommend that you find some type of regular paycheck that you can depend on, just for your own piece of mind. Wish you the best.

[Myrtle]

Paul,

I don’t know if you’re at a ‘crisis’ point yet. That would be defined by you and your wife. However, it is obviously a very serious decision with far reaching ramifications.

I’ve read & re-read your post a couple of times to try to get a handle on what points your decision will hinge. You’ve mentioned a few:

-Long term viability of poker as your sole income.
- Viability of your current skill set in the software industry
- Social stigma
- Your ‘love of the game’.
- ‘Regular job/regular paycheck’
- Emotional swings as a poker ‘pro’
- Classmates entering ‘prime earning years of their careers
- Your 2 children
- Your age
- Which way you want to go in your life.

These are all significant and worthwhile discussion points, and if you think about it (and I’m sure you have!) there are numbers of others that factor into your decision.

Some of the responders to your post (El Diablo, Mark Heide, Greg, and Dogmeat amongst others) have brought up some valid & good points that I believe are well worth considering.

Here’s how I’d attempt to solve the issue.

Step 1.) List all of your viable options; i.e. Full time software (both working for someone else and/or starting your own business); full time poker pro; part-time doing both, etc. Discuss this with your wife to ensure that you are both aware of every option, as there may be others that are not immediately evident. To state the obvious, before you can make a good decision you must know what ALL of your options are, regardless of how acceptable or unacceptable any of them are to either you or your wife.

Step 2.) Make a T-Chart. I’d suggest that both you and your wife do this separately at first. You don’t want either of your opinions influencing the other party. The T-Chart should include the discussion points above, and any other issues that either of you consider relevant. I’d be willing to bet that you list some that she doesn’t, and vice-versa. Assign some kind of ‘weight’ scoring system (1-10 or whatever you fell comfortable with) and score each one of the issues + and – on the T Chart.

Do this separately, and then compare and discuss the two, focusing on agreed upon points first, and then dealing with the disagreements. In computer programming terms: Drill-Down time. Depending upon the volatility of the subjects and the degree of difference of opinion between the two of you, this may not be an easy exercise. However, the reality of the situation is that whatever decision is to be made, it must be made by BOTH of you and supported fully by both of you if it is to have a chance of succeeding.

Once you get to that point, I would then discuss ‘fall-back options and strategies’ that you would collectively put in place should the original plan not go as expected.

To again state the obvious, this is a complicated and emotionally charged issue, and it’s very easy to get side-tracked by many of the important discussion points.

I wish you luck, and remember....Men are from Mars.....Women are from Venus.

[PokerPaul]

thanks myrtle....

i am having an indepth discussion with her about this tonight alreayd, but maybe that T chart suggestion might help.

Sounds like you are in a similar situation perhaps??

Yes men are from mars....women are from venus...but poker fanatics are from womewhere else....

[Myrtle]

Paul,

.....not surrounding poker.

I am very fortunate to have a wonderful, insightful and supportive wife.

Over the years, however, we've had more than our share of disagreements, and after we get over the Mars/Venus bump, we get down to business and work the "options & priorities" until we come to an agreement that we both feel good about.

Good luck again......

[KaneKungFu123]

i play 30-40 hrs/week

the first 15-20 come rather easily. the last 10-20 are rather hard to be completely honest. i think most pros will agree with this.

try to find an office job where you can play poker.

[Easy E]

I'll comment on this great post (great from a discussion standpoint, not the stress on you) when I have a little more time.
I haven't read the replies either, so my comments may be shortened as repetitive.

[scrapperdog]

If someone says you are unemployed set them strait. Dont beat around the bush.

What are 2 of the things people like to do the least? How about give strangers money and have someone beat them in a compitition.

Your work is hard. Convincing strangers to give you money is not easy, or everyone would do it. You work just as hard as anyone else... dont put up with snide comments.

Here is a thought on the subject.
To start a professional poker career I think you need to be a big winner at the high stakes. I am playing lots of poker and make some decent money. On the other hand the earning volatility is rather destructive (unless you are a maniac). For me it was an easy decision since my work pays a bit to much for me to quit. Also factoring in the premium for pension, healthcare and the stability of earnings.

However I am not giving up on poker, it is to much fun and nice extra money (if you have a +ev). I also think things will bet better when the competition among poker rooms heat up and the rakes begin to drop. It is rather stupid that we pay these rooms so much of our own money.

I have given myself an ultimatum to continue work untill (if ever) I average 2-2.5 times the amount I get from work in disposable income, but including some benefits like pension. That would imply profitable play at $15-30 limit or $5-10NL, anything less will not cut it in the long term. Also playing on the Internet for higher stakes is very beneficial for the rake. with 300-1000 average pots the rake is only 0.3%-1%.

Lots of unstructured thoughts here but hopefully to some help. Hope my english was not to poor (im swedish.)

:O