favourite movie rants

[diebitter]

I have 2.

From the 25th Hour, there's the Ed Norton 'fk you' rant:

"[censored] me? [censored] you! [censored] you and this whole city and everyone in it. [censored] the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. [censored] the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a [censored] job! [censored] the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in [censored] training. SLOW THE [censored] DOWN! [censored] the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. [censored] the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? [censored] the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you [censored] came from! [censored] the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! [censored] the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother [censored], figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for [censored] LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that [censored]? Give me a [censored] break! Tyco! Worldcom! [censored] the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst [censored]' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. [censored] the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. [censored] the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! [censored] the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the [censored] on! [censored] the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! [censored] the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. [censored] the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, [censored] JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in [censored]' Otisville, J! [censored] Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass!"


And Johnny from Naked:

"Was I bored? No, I wasn't [censored] bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new as long as it's new as long as it flashes and [censored] bleeps in forty [censored] different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not [censored] bored."


Any you like?