Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She's a big prude (she mentioned dating a guy for several months! and never kissing him).

[/ QUOTE ]

That's beyond mere prude - how does that even qualify as dating?
I have no idea. I know she isn't always like this. She was mentioning sex with this other guy, so who knows. She just said that other guy, things weren't "like that".

[ QUOTE ]
She also asked me to be a loan reference to her on her student loans.

[/ QUOTE ]

A loan reference? Tom, seriously, man, wtf that seems really ridiculous.
I wasn't cosigning. She just needed a name of someone who didn't live with her to say shes a good person. It seemed odd, but not too unusual.
[ QUOTE ]
She also came to the US to marry this dude, who turned out to be psycho and threatened to kill her and stuff. But they are divorced (for several years), and she has no contact with him.

[/ QUOTE ]

Uh - dude - please posts pics immediately it may be the only thing that sways advice from this forum.

Again, its not an ideal situation. But trust me, it's the best prospect. There are a lot of other things about her that are exactly what I'm looking for that are unlikely to be found in a lot of other people
These Are All Red Flags Probably Not Worth The Effort,
-Al

[/ QUOTE ]

[diebitter]

There's always a chance, my friend.

I think she digs you, but something about you makes her think you're not interested.

You need to go get drunk together some time, and just kiss her. Everything will happen then - and I think that first night will be awesome, cos she's been waiting so long.

I don't usually give advice this trite-sounding - honest - but this is all that's needed here.

[MyTurn2Raise]

wow...this is a borderline situation
above average, but not hot enough to go through a bunch of bs

hmmm...ignore her a few times, or talk about other women and how well things are going with them. If this doesn't stoke the fire, you are permenantly in LJBF category.

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
My advice is to make it extremely clear that you want her without saying it. Flirt excessively with her, touch her in non-threatening ways whenever you get the chance, hold eye contact when talking. Always make sure she has fun while she is with you. Limit the amount of time you spend with her so she always wants more of you. If she is having fun with you she will want to be around you more, just give her limited doses of yourself and it will drive her wild and she will have to give you attention in more extreme ways. If she doesn't respond to you in a sexual manner, just start drifting away and if she doesn't try to get your attention again then just move on and break off contact.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think I've been doing this some. The day before she left, she called me at the last minute wanting to meet up at a bar or something, and I blew her off. She kinda blew me off the two days before that, so I figured I had to make a stand somewhere. Being in different cities, I think it will be easy to not get "too much".

[[censored]]

Sounds like you're getting played dude. Classis nice guy syndrom.

The only way to break out of this is to risk the rejection and just directly state your intentions of wanting to date. Chances are your sunk but really what are risking? A freindship with some chick? Please that's worth a whole lotta nothing.

Also like Mason stated being compared to the other guys is a bad thing not a good thing. Roughly translated it means something like this "see that guy is a bad boy, I bet if he was with me I could change him" Most girls like arts & crafts whether it be stamps, making things, or guy -- it's all about having a project.

[Aloysius]

Tom - let's say we get beyond the fact that 1) she asks for these favors; 2) she has a psycho ex-husband; 3) she dated someone for months without even kissing them; 4) you will be long distance. Obviously you like her alot.

Echoing DB's advice - just make a move. You'll regret it if you don't. Str8Baller's advice is OK if you see each other alot. But since she will be pretty far away soon, time is of the essence.

Good Luck With This Foreign Chick,
-Al

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like you're getting played dude. Classis nice guy syndrom.

The only way to break out of this is to risk the rejection and just directly state your intentions of wanting to date. Chances are your sunk but really what are risking? A freindship with some chick? Please that's worth a whole lotta nothing.

Also like Mason stated being compared to the other guys is a bad thing not a good thing. Roughly translated it means something like this "see that guy is a bad boy, I bet if he was with me I could change him" Most girls like arts & crafts whether it be stamps, making things, or guy -- it's all about having a project.

[/ QUOTE ]

Granted I have nothing better to work on, even if I'm drawing thin, any chance for redemption? When we first met, it was starting on the dating tip, but didn't develop. She gave me the "just no spark, its a shame because everything else would work" line. When it started back up again, her friend asked her if we were dating, and she sounded open to the idea. I think she knows I'm interested (or at least that I was). So I'm SOL, eh? Can I at least use this to my advantage in the event that I find anyone else?

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
Tom - let's say we get beyond the fact that 1) she asks for these favors; 2) she has a psycho ex-husband; 3) she dated someone for months without even kissing them; 4) you will be long distance. Obviously you like her alot.

Echoing DB's advice - just make a move. You'll regret it if you don't. Str8Baller's advice is OK if you see each other alot. But since she will be pretty far away soon, time is of the essence.

Good Luck With This Foreign Chick,
-Al

[/ QUOTE ]

That was my plan when she planned on staying over before her flight. Get her as drunk as possible, try to bang her, and if it doesn't work, oh well. I see the red flags, but compared to the other damaged goods that are the prospects ( I don't even want to go there), this is definitely as good as its gonna get.

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
She gave me the "just no spark, its a shame because everything else would work" line.

[/ QUOTE ]

She already said that to you? Ah [censored] it - make a move anyway, you never know - chicks are mercurial that way. Regret sucks and who knows maybe you get to at least bang her that one time.

-Al

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She gave me the "just no spark, its a shame because everything else would work" line.

[/ QUOTE ]

She already said that to you? Ah [censored] it - make a move anyway, you never know - chicks are mercurial that way. Regret sucks and who knows maybe you get to at least bang her that one time.

-Al

[/ QUOTE ]

I've had plenty girls say that and change their mind. The last one ended up dating me for 3 years. But about making this move, what's my plan? Help her move, take her out in the new city, and hope to get lucky? Make my intentions more clear now before she gets back?