Choose Your OOT Adventure: Chapter Two (with hopefully working poll!)

[The Armchair]

In the previous chapter, a majority of you decided to attack the kids.

Chapter Two: Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Someone Right Over

You charge at the first child in the patty-cake game and drop kick him in the chest. He passes out and disappears, but other than that, the kids seem not to notice your presence.

One by one, you pick off the children, until only nine remain. They, naturally, are the ones playing Red Rover. Six on one side, three on the other.

You run as fast as you can at the two littlest girls (bastard!) on the far end of the non-gymnasium. They’re at the center of the team of six.

As you charge full speed, Sally, the little girl on the left – that is your left, not hers, although I never understood how she can be on her own left, is that not odd? – wets herself. And boy, can she pee. She’s pissing as much as that guy does in the joke Quentin Tarantino tells in Desperado.

What, you haven’t seen the movie?

Dude.

Unacceptable.

Anyway, it’s a whole lot of piss. So much piss, that you slip and stumble harmlessly toward Sally and Esmeralda (the other little girl, the one on your right and Sally’s left), only to be caught by their tiny little arms. Pussy.

Their hands separate and an irresistible force sticks you between them, reforming the chain. Well, if you are going to be coerced into playing Red Rover, at least you are on the winning team.

The team confers on whom next to send over. Across the battle field stand three kindergarteners:

Billy, a three foot, two inch kid with one hand and a hook for the other, and an eye patch over his left (your right) eye;

Benny, the kid who is wearing that Tampa Bay Devil Rays jersey and bounced off the wall of fire;

Jason G., a 6’3”, 240 pound guy who is clearly on steroids, and is probably too old to be in kindergarten any more.

[The Armchair]

We need some discussion, people. This has to stay on the front page so I can easily find it, for sake of tomorrow's installment (being written now).

[2+2 wannabe]

i picked the second guy - bouncing off that fire makes him the man, which makes me the woman - and I want no part of that. except for the underwear thing, which we've discussed, is strictly a comfort thing

[bravos1]

If we put on our right guard.. we can sent T.O. over!

[The Armchair]

[ QUOTE ]
If we put on our right guard.. we can sent T.O. over!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sweet.

Nice typo-pun, btw.

[The Armchair]

All three of the next story lines have been written.

The appropriate choice will be posted tomorrow evening some time, potentially rather late.

[jgorham]

At first I thought the clear answer was hook hand billy. But then it occurred to me that 3'2" with a hook puts him dangerously close to certain important body parts. And in a heated game of red rover you know I am not breaking the chain to protect myself.

So between the other two I think I go with Jason, cause he is going to be hard to take down. Best hope: he ends up on your team when hook hand billy comes hunting for genitals red rover style.

[PoBoy321]

This deserves a bump. It's a tight race.

[meep_42]

I chose Giambi, since I expect him to make it halfway to us then fall over with some 'virus.'

Or the Devil Ray kid will trip him.

-d

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
Best hope: he ends up on your team

[/ QUOTE ]

No way. Best hope is that JG gets tagged for steroids again and has to miss the red rover playoffs.