Do not open this thread if you don't like stupid dating questions. . .

The Stranger · #1 08-03-2005, 01:25 AM

Relevent links:

Chilling vs. Dating
"Now that we're just friends. . .
Another Ex-gf question

This is in regards to the girl who I was hanging out with, made out with a few times, then told me, "Now that we're just friends, I feel like I can tell you this. I love you." If you didn't read the previous threads, the only other major pertinent detail is that we met in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Okay, there was a local AA convention over the weekend, but she couldn't hang out much because her father and her brothers and sisters were visiting from out of town. I was having horrible back pain. We hung out at a few meetings at the convention, we had lunch, and then she had to leave to pick them up at the airport. She was going to come back with her younger sister to the dance that was supposed to start at 9PM on Saturday. She said she was going to call me just before 9 to find out if I was physically up to it. 9:30 rolled around, the dance hadn't started and she didn't call me. I sent her a text message saying, "I'm going home," still expecting her to call me. I live about twenty minutes away from the convention. She didn't call.

I called her Sunday morning, asking, "So, how was the dance." "Oh it was cool blah blah blah" and about two minutes later, "I gotta let you go now, we're all over at Starbucks right now. We're heading up the coast tonight to visit my grandparents. I'll be back Monday late-night, so I'll see you at the meeting on Tuesday."

Well, the rest of the day I was laid up in my room, trying to stretch my back. I texted her Sunday afternoon saying, "I'm really sore. I haven't left my room except to go to the bathroom. I'd really appreciate if you gave me a call, if you get a minute."

Sunday, nothing. Monday, nothing.

Today I came to the conclusion, "Okay, she's blowing me off. It was just a flash in the pan. I give up."

So I went to the Tuesday meeting tonight, waved at her from across the street, and left at the coffee break.

She calls later, saying her and her sister are at Starbuck's and I should come, because her sister really wants to meet me. I said no, because I have to get up early. She says her sister is in town until Sunday, and we should all hang out on Thursday night.

Talk about mixed messages. First it seems like she doesn't want to talk to me, and then not only does she want to hang out with me, but she is telling her family about me and wants me to meet them.

Am I reading into this too deeply, or should I just go with it?

MrWookie47 · #2 08-03-2005, 01:50 AM

I'd say she's still blowing you off, but she's trying polite. Getting an invitation to go out with her sister, to me, doesn't sound nearly as enticing as meeting up 1 on 1. She blew you off for what might look more like a date, but will take you out for coffee w/ her sister. It looks to me like she doesn't know how to say the words, "Let's just be friends."

The Stranger · #3 08-03-2005, 01:55 AM

so the fact that her sister lives 3,000 miles away makes no difference?

IndieMatty · #4 08-03-2005, 01:55 AM

Much respect for the Stranger. But it seems she just wants the close guy friend. You guy's aren't really dating. Even the occasional make out or whatever. There's girls who are just like this.

Best if you move on.

#5 08-03-2005, 01:57 AM

WOW. You are asking the OOT a second time about the same girl AND you are in AA. You make me feel good about my life. You really just need to go hang out in a bar, get drunk and take home some bar fly (just like the good ol' days!). Not nearly as much drama!

#6 08-03-2005, 02:01 AM

Stranger meets girl in AA. They go out, kinda. They stop dating.
Stranger: "We're just friends. Cool."
Girl: "Now I can tell you I love you"
Stranger: "wtf"

Girl's family comes into town. She's pretty much ignores Stranger. Stranger is sad and disappointed. Now, girl is trying to get Stranger to meet her sister.

What should he do?

tl;dr

siccjay · #7 08-03-2005, 02:10 AM

If you can be friends with this girl without it eating you up inside the have at it.

Otherwise it's best to just end all contact between the two of you. Yes, it's harsh, but it will be for the best. It's not healthy to hang out with this chick if you feel different about her.

wacki · #8 08-03-2005, 02:11 AM

[ QUOTE ]
WOW. You are asking the OOT a second time about the same girl AND you are in AA. You make me feel good about my life. You really just need to go hang out in a bar, get drunk and take home some bar fly (just like the good ol' days!). Not nearly as much drama!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, [censored]. Leave the man alone.

The Stranger · #9 08-03-2005, 02:15 AM

[ QUOTE ]
WOW. You are asking the OOT a second time about the same girl AND you are in AA. You make me feel good about my life. You really just need to go hang out in a bar, get drunk and take home some bar fly (just like the good ol' days!). Not nearly as much drama!

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah I can wake up on the street, go look for my car keys, not make it to work, spend the night in jail for mouthing off to a cop, go apologize to my buddy for spilling a gallon of mustard on his carpet, and call my ex-gf who cheated on me blatantly for two years solid, bringing out the kind of rage I didn't know I had, but being too lonely and pathetic to give serious consideration to leaving her, well and because her family was filthy rich and I hated working. Make a vow to never drink again, wake up and do the whole thing over again until I die or am locked up in a psych ward. Good plan.

Non_Comformist · #10 08-03-2005, 02:20 AM

I thought you two decided to pretend you didn't have feelings and instead to just be friends?

If so well guess what this is what being friends with a girl you have feelings for is like. Congrats and enjoy.

You see why I said not following your true feelings at the time was dumb now?

let me know if your truly interested it going somewhere with this.