ESPN Wanna-Be Report (long, low content, just a witness...lol)

[juanez]

OK, I've been flamed before for poking fun at sunglass-donning yoots (I'm sorry, yooooouths your honor... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) for acting like fools at the table. And I never meant that all young players are jerks, but some are. Just like some old players are jerks. So, I won't reveal the age of the following ESPN Wanna-Be I spotted tonight to avoid any age-related dispute.

This guy was in seat #3 tonight. I never saw him before. When I pushed into this 2/4 game I saw the sunglasses. No big whoop. But this guy also had a medium weight ski jacket on (we're in Colorado here). The kind that has a collar that can be zipped up to your nose if it's freezing outside, covering your mouth, ears and most of your face. It was zipped all the way up. Ball cap on, bill pulled down so low it almost touched his nose. Again, no big whoop.

This guy never moved more than necessary...totally stoic, didn't have a drink or a smoke, only spoke when necessary, acted very slowly, taking his sweet time like he was thinking intensely before acting - every hand. This is 2/4 here. That's fine, I don't really care about all that.

This is what pissed me off a bit: At first, he would make a call or raise by putting his chips about a millimeter in front of his cards. He would also "fold" by dropping his cards down a millimeter in front of his chips but leave his hands hovering above the cards. Being nice, I asked every time, "You're mucking these?" before swiping them way. He'd just make a barely perceptible nod. He was slowing the game down a lot.

An old guy in seat #2, an every-night regular named John who is cool as hell, said to him that he should place his chips out a bit farther so the dealer (me) could reach them more easily. We have no "race-track" drawn on the felt at the Gilpin (fine with me frankly).

One of the few times the guy spoke, he responded to John and said that he "liked to keep his chips close to him". John's response was, "Son, you call a bet or raise a bet and those chips ain't yers anymore, they're the pot's chips. They only become yers again if you win the hand."

I thought this was great, as did a few at the table who chuckled. I said nothing of course and just continued.

He continued doing the "barely recognizable as a call or raise" thing for a few more hands. Then John said again, "Christ son, these dealers arms are only so long, give em a break."

Thereafter, the guy began rainbowing his chips into the pot, throwing them into the air so they splashed the pot, rolling all over, etc. Twice he did this before I said, "Please don't splash the pot sir." Another guy at the table said something like "Yeah, man. The act is getting old."

He then reverted back to the millimeter-in-front-of-his-cards style of calling or raising.

A few hands later, one of the players remarks how it was a little warm in the room - and it was warm in my opinion. Then another guy says, "Yeah, how can The Invisible Man down there take it?" The table erupts in laughter. I contain myself as best I can.

In two 30 minute downs, I never pushed one pot to this guy so I have no experience with him as far as tipping dealers, but others say he was a ZERO tipper.

The Invisible Man stuck around for a few hours, continuing his charade, losing a few racks of white. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] A few of us dealers were dicussing him after work while sucking down a few brews.

I don't know, maybe I just don't understand. But acting like a douche at the table seems to be -EV to me. Being a nice, congenial person, but still being a formidable opponent, seems the way to win money from strangers IMHO. I mean, why piss everyone off while making yourself look like a clown?