Best way to shut down the table coach without tapping the glass?

[CinnamonWind]

I often find myself at tables where someone decides to be Mr. Poker. They start to ridicule other players, or they say idiotic things like "some of us do this for a living" and so on.

How do I tell these people to kindly stfu and stop making people play better without alerting the fish? I've tried:

*cough*
"please don't tap the glass"
"stfu and play, whiner"
"let's just play cards, k?"

And so on ...

Is there a good line that lets the idiotic coach/critic/whiner know that he's probably screwing up everyone's action by being such a yapper?

(Clever or funny are fine, but also some effective lines would be good!)

[A_C_Slater]

Just say "any two can win" in a really naive and wonderous sounding sort of tone. This way he should be able to catch the caustic sarcasm and all the fish will nod in agreement.

[CinnamonWind]

[ QUOTE ]
Just say "any two can win" in a really naive and wonderous sounding sort of tone.

[/ QUOTE ]

That will only make the coach do more coaching.

I want a way to let him know he's being a douche without letting the fish know they're being fish.

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just say "any two can win" in a really naive and wonderous sounding sort of tone.

[/ QUOTE ]

That will only make the coach do more coaching.

I want a way to let him know he's being a douche without letting the fish know they're being fish.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please see my newly edited version. This way you shut him up when he senses the sarcasm and the fish believe you are defending them. This way everyone wins. You appease all.

[CinnamonWind]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just say "any two can win" in a really naive and wonderous sounding sort of tone.

[/ QUOTE ]

That will only make the coach do more coaching.

I want a way to let him know he's being a douche without letting the fish know they're being fish.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please see my newly edited version. This way you shut him up when he senses the sarcasm and the fish believe you are defending them. This way everyone wins. You appease all.

[/ QUOTE ]

K how about online?

[A_C_Slater]

Online doesn't matter. People won't stop playing online because they get criticized. People only feel humiliated in face-to-face social situations. They won't change the way they play like they might in a live game. Big emphasis on the word might , the worst case scenario in a brick and mortar is that they stop going, not that they'll bother to improve. Afterall, if they wanted to get better they would do it on their own intiative not cause some guy they played with cussed them out for being ignorant of proper play. The worst case scenario online is that they turn the chat option off.

[Monty Cantsin]

Nothing works. I've decided that not attempting to correct the table coaches is as important as not attempting to correct the fish.

/mc

[A_C_Slater]

That's not true. You need to work on your sarcasm. If it's scathing enough it will shut up all but the most die hard of table coaches.

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
Online doesn't matter. People won't stop playing online because they get criticized. People only feel humiliated in face-to-face social situations.

[/ QUOTE ]



I disagree. I've seen fish get run-off by "How can you be so stupid?" type chat.
It is MORE likely to have an impact at B&M play....but online is not immune.

In the very least, pointing out that a fish is playing incorrectly can ALERT the fish to this and actually provoke them to play tighter.
This happened to me in my first couple of weeks of playing when I simply didn't know how to play. A table-coach was asking me "How can you play crap cards like that?"
Up until that point, I didn't even know there was such a thing as 'crap cards'.


There was a LOOOOOONG thread in the internet forum on this exact same topic a few weeks ago.
I believe it was started by a poster named Adde.

MANY MANY suggestions in that thread. Some clever, some not.
Check out the archives for it.

[helpmeout]

"let him play how he wants"

"quite whining just cos you lost"

"if you are so good why not play in (insert higher limit)"

"oh great another table coach, can I get a copy of your book?"