Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

[DMBFan23]

[ QUOTE ]
I somehow doubt the "being played" part, she just doesn't seem like that type of girl. Plus, she really isn't getting much out of me.

The gameplan would work, except, we are in communication through IM while she is out of the country. She has asked me to help her move (I have said I probably could but need to know on the date and all).

Plus, she will be long distance, so if we were going to see each other, one of us would likely make a weekend trip. Once it gets warmer, I can say I'm going to see my uncle and play golf with him, and happen to see her in the evening or so. My plan is to make one trip, see if it has any chance of developing, and seriously back off otherwise. Your gameplan would work if she was local, but that seems tough to work into this situation.

[/ QUOTE ]

deny deny deny. you are on the [censored] friend ladder, Ive been there many times and it sucks. you have almost zero chance.

go prove me wrong, I really hope it works out

[tpir90036]

You are on the friendship tip. The only way off is to semi-ruin the friendship by being a dick and then having hardcore long-time-waiting make-up sex when you hang out to "fix" your "friendship".

Just remember what Led Zepplin taught us in the song "Good Times, Bad Times":

"When I whispered in her ear, I lost another friend"
-Robert Plant

good luck,
tpir

[MyTurn2Raise]

[ QUOTE ]
Tom -- giving advice on how to get laid is a big job, especially because I personally don't know your situation. It sounds like you're having a really hard time, though, so I'm gonna start from the beginning:

1) Your look - Yeah, it's really important. How a guy looks is not as important to girls as how a girl looks is to guys...but it's still crucial. It's essential to getting "quick pussy" (meaning, without putting in a lot of effort, money, or time). I'd assume if you were a huge studmonger that you'd not be having problems getting chicks. So...
a) Work Out. Some chicks are into arms, some into a nice flat stomach, others into how a guy's ass looks in tight jeans. Either way, spend some time at the gym (and if you already do, maybe spend a bit more time on problem areas) and tone up/bulk up if you're skinny/trim down if you're overweight.

b) Grooming - Go to a reputable salon and get a FEMALE stylist's opinion on what kind of cut would make you look the sexiest. Then let her give you that haircut...then tell her thanks, you're gonna be hanging out with some friends at X-bar and why doesn't she grab some of hers and meet you out. If that doesn't work, who cares - you got a cool haircut and easy practice. If it becomes awkward, go to someone else to replicate the cool haircut (take a picture soon afterward so you can just show it to someone else) -- if she comes out and sits on your face later, score. If it doesn't become awkward but she doesn't come out, keep going back whenever you need your haircut and make her your flirty-friend who you bone up on your skills with and have a little fun.

More of grooming, I'm sure you're down with this, but you never know. Make sure you're always freshly-showered, shaved, fingernails clipped, eyebrows not running together into one, teeth brushed, breath good with gum or mints, ears cleaned out, deoderant/nice cologne on, etc. Girls are easily grossed-out and they do appreciate a guy who's clean, looks neat and put together, and smells good.

c) Clothes - I don't know what works for you, but whatever your style...do it right. Don't dress like a slob. If you're going out somewhere (whether with the intention of meeting women or not), make sure you're dressed nicely. Stray away from T-shirts and holey jeans. Make sure your clothes are ironed and at least reasonably fashionable. If you got three or four "power ensembles," that wouldn't be a bad idea. These are clothes you've spent a decent amount of money on, have had approved by department store clerk or female friend(s), that accentuate your good features (blue if you have blue eyes, widening the shoulders if yours are a little narrow, hang right on you if you have less than a totally-flat stomach) and make you look cool. Wear these clothes when going out looking for girls...dating, etc.

2) Location
a) Internet - yeah, keep working on MySpace...but keep it all casual...don't be looking for a relationship, and work on your profile with a female friend (someone who is totally platonic)...browse people with her and ask her the type of things that she responds to when looking for a guy online. Also make sure you've got a couple of good pictures of you (maybe one that's just a straight-up shot of you and one that shows you with people having a good time...let her know what you look like and that people have fun when they're around you...all with a couple of pictures).

b) Bars/Clubs - Yes...these are still good places to meet girls. Approaching women in these places can be difficult or intimidating, which is why you must start out with an absolute rule: Three Seconds. When you see a girl that you are physically interested in, you have exactly three seconds to start walking towards her. Tell your buddies about this rule, and make them hold you to it. If you follow this rule, you don't have time to get all in your head and nervous.

Your actual approach may vary from situation to situation, or you may have a standard opener. It's all really based on your personal style and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, the girl. If you're talking to a 19-year-old blond chick with an SMU sorority shirt on and a set of Mercedez keys in her hands, you're obviously going to start differently than you would with a 24-year-old Goth-rocker, different still with a conservative-looking 30 year old divorcee. Most importantly, though, is to BE YOURSELF. I'm sure you've heard it before, Tom...but it's all about CONFIDENCE. You can't approach women seeking their validation of you being a cool guy and expect to get anywhere. You have to, HAVE TO, get it through your head that what you're doing is approaching a girl to decide if she's cool/sexy/funny enough for YOU. You're obviously not going to say that, but it should be your outlook. YOU are the #1...she is one of millions of your options. Obviously, you wanna be nice, and once you get into a serious relationship, you're certainly gonna want to be a gentleman, etc...but it sounds like you're good at relationships, bad getting into girls' pants. So for that, it's ALL....ABOUT....YOU.

c) Random Places - remember that girls go to (almost) all the same places you do. Tons of people meet in grocery stores, laundromats, the workplace, whorehouses (well - yeah), coffee shops, the gym (great place), the salon (like we already discussed). Be READY for those opportunities to strike. Be your confident, put-together self at all times and be willing to strike up conversations in unusual places. That alone could be the thing that gives you a leg up (possibly HER leg up over your shoulder).

Anyway...get over this weirdo foreign chick. A Foreigner...who's a PRUDE??? Are you KIDDING, the best thing about foreign girls is their lower moral standards about sexuality. This chick obviously thinks of you as a friend, lives far away, is socially awkward, has already shot your pseudo-wussy advances down, might be a neat person but is "just not that into you." And your comment earlier that she was the best you were gonna get...PLEASE!!!

Get out there and do things. Become a man who gets what he wants when he wants it. If you devote yourself to it fully, it will happen for you. And come back here and share stories.

Hope this helps a little. Take it easy.

[/ QUOTE ]

I see someone reads the same web forums I do

[SammyKid11]

[ QUOTE ]
Now I know why I'm not on the bar scene.

[/ QUOTE ]

I write all that out and all you got to say is "now I know why I'm not on the bar scene?" How about this:

"Uh, what you described sounds like a lot of work. I'm not willing to work hard to become the man women are into and in the process provide happiness for myself. I'd rather pine over this chick who doesn't wanna sleep with me (cause if she did she'd have already done it), pretend that she's into me even if it costs me my dignity, time, money - who cares, at least I'll have someone I'm 'seeing' - and I won't have to admit to myself and my friends that I don't have the stones to get out there and attract the kinds of women I want."

Now, that might be a harsh assessment...and it might not be totally accurate. I dunno - it wasn't meant to offend, just to provoke thought (cause if the above IS you, it's time to snap out of it, yo). But I think what I described above is CLOSER to your reasoning than you feeling like you don't fit into/don't belong in/are better than/aren't good at the bar scene.

But like I said, man - it ain't all on the bar scene. There's some good stuff in what I wrote that you could apply at plenty of other places if you're just not a bar person - sluff it off if you want (cause it sounds like you're seriously sweatin' that foreign ass)...but print it out first. When you decide you're ready to quit draggin' ass and settling for the table scraps you're able to "nice guy" your way into while guys less cool than you are plowing the girls you're busy being friends with...then pick my post back up, give it a read, and maybe it'll help.

I only responded because you asked for advice on how to go out and get new girls and I do have more than my share of experience at that (and in no way do I have Brad Pitt's looks or Avon Barksdale's money). There are lot of people out here that understand what makes women part with their panties, and a lot of that is written about in my initial post.

But I suppose before any of that matters, you gotta let things with this chick run their course (which, if I were you, would consist of - "hey, we've been friends for a while now...but I gotta say, I'm interested in more. Are you?" -- if yes, great...if no, "well, then I'm sorry for your loss...I'd have made a seriously great boyfriend, but I gotta run...give me a call if you change your mind...if I happen to be single, maybe we could have some fun.").

Anyway, to each his own. Good luck.