What just happened with me and this girl??

[HopeydaFish]

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I called her up, turns out she's leaving tomorrow night after her last final, so there's no time to do anything before break. She said she'd call me if she ends up going to that ski resort near me in Oregon, and she sounded disappointed about the fact that we wouldn't be able to see each other before she left. So, I think I'm in. To be continued in January...

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Yup, you're in. Congrats!

[kyro]

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So I think this quarter we kinda grew a little closer (our team hit some tough times, and we leaned on each other for support

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I laughed.

My god, it's IM basketball. It's not like her mom and cat died in a massive explosion.

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So I think this quarter we kinda grew a little closer (our team hit some tough times, and we leaned on each other for support

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I laughed.

My god, it's IM basketball. It's not like her mom and cat died in a massive explosion.

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Yeah, that bit was intended to be sarcastic/over the top but I guess that didn't go over too well. It's just something that we both really enjoy doing, and is the only reason we know each other.

[Oblivious]

IM sports are a great way to network in college. You should definitely take the initiative before January. See her over break and find a way to keep her warm and cozy for one evening at least.

[ohnonotthat]

I can no longer stand idly by while you torment yourself with uncertainty; I shall now offer my assistance.

Meet her at the ski resort regardless of distance, cost, or any other factor.

Invite her to join you for a drink at the bar; if this is awkward due to your ages ask her to take a walk with you.

Whichever you choose, find a spot where you are unlikely to be disturbed; once there, tell her there is something important you neglected to ask her the night the two of you watched the movie.

Ask her if she knows anything about real estate; if she says yes, great - if she says no, tell her you'd still like her opinion since she, unlike a R.E. agent can be trusted.

Wait until she smiles in appreciation then whip out your xxxx, look her straight in the eye and ask, "do you think this is a LOT" ?

*

OK - now I will be serious.

I read most of the responses - hard to believe alot of these guys are unattached [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] - and nobody made mention of what I think is the key here.

She didn't say no to anything; she was blase' - and with good reason.

Men and women both live in mortal fear of rejection but I'm not sure you realize how good WE have it.

When a girl says "no" to us she's saying "I can get almost any guy I want and to be honest I don't really care to xxxx you".

When we say no to a girl we are saying "I have trouble getting ANY from ANYONE yet still I choose not to xxxx you".

Hyperbole for effect but true nonetheless.

Any guy who thinks rejection is harder for men than for women is insane.

Did you want her to drop to her knees (get your mind out of the gutter, that's not what I meant) and proclaim her love for you ?

Even assuming she has feelings for you - which IMO is a virtual certainty - she exposes herself to infinitely more heartache than you if you made the same declaration.

It's the nature of the beast. We get rejected more often but in almost all cases the pain is gone after a few beers; she has likely faced rejection no more than once or twice in her life but her period of recovery is measured not in BEERS but in YEARS. (OK, that was a bit much [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] but I made my point).

[diebitter]

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Did you want her to drop to her knees (get your mind out of the gutter, that's not what I meant)

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Can the rest of us keep our minds in the gutter? (Actually, mine's in the sewer. I'm aspiring to get to the gutter one day).

[ohnonotthat]

My request was poorly worded. I was asking that you (and the others) TEMPORARILY elevate your level of thinking.

Be assured that any plan involving permanent mass relocation of those minds currently in the gutter will occur over my dead body. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[PocketJokers72]

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Okay, so I'm 20 and in college. There's this girl that's played on my intramural basketball team for a couple years, and she's pretty cute (don't have pics), nice, sweet, and I've always gotten good vibes from her in the sense that I think she might be into me. She's really friendly towards me but not as much towards other guys on our team, and it's like she's always happy to see me when we run into each other.

So I think this quarter we kinda grew a little closer (our team hit some tough times, and we leaned on each other for support), and we made plans to hit up the gym tonight and play some basketball after she got some studying done for finals. Then she calls me at like 10 and says "I'm too tired to play...wanna do something else that doesn't involve a lot of activity?" so I invite her over to watch a movie at my place. We select the Bad News Bears (for its lightheartedness) and sit on the couch together in front of my 50" HDTV...thank you cards.

Anyway, I'm thinking I should probably make a move, but this girl is definitely a bit conservative - she doesn't drink whatsoever, is religious, etc. - I haven't figured out if that might be a problem for me down the road, but whatever. She's really sweet and I like her personality, but I definitely get the vibe like she might not even make out with a guy until the end of the third date or something.

So we're watching the movie, and slowly our positions are slowly gravitating towards each other, until our arms are touching at one point...(and by the way, if anyone knows some smooth lines/tricks that enable me to get from that position to cuddling position easily, I'd love to know)...so finally I just say [censored] it, and put my arm around her shoulder. She doesn't seem to mind, and repositions herself so that she's laying against my chest. We watch the rest of the movie in said fashion. After it ends, we talk about random stuff for a little bit, and she gets up to go home. I walk her out to her car.

This is where it gets confusing: I thought that putting my arm around her, and her accepting it, was kinda establishing "hey, I kinda like you, you kinda like me, that's cool, let's do this again sometime." But when we get to her car, she's just like "Have a good break if I don't see you again (break starts Dec. 10), and call me if you want to play basketball some time, or if you go skiing in Oregon" (we'll be about two hours away from each other over winter break, and there's a ski place in between that we each said we might go to). I was expecting something more like "yeah, let's hang out again soon." We then hugged and she left. So now I'm just confused, because if she's into me I'd expect a more enthusiastic response when she left about what had just happened during the movie.

I know I'm subjecting myself to some ridicule by making this post, and it's probably deserved, but I'd appreciate some advice as well. Is she into me? What's my play?

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Re-read this with the assumption that the OP is female also. It's a much better read then.

[tpir90036]

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There's this girl that's played on my intramural basketball team for a couple years.

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why did you wait so long? maybe she knows you weren't interested before and isn't that down now.


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this girl is definitely a bit conservative - she doesn't drink whatsoever, is religious, etc. - I haven't figured out if that might be a problem for me down the road, but whatever.

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sounds annoying... but to each their own i suppose. if she is really a good girl, you should be able to tolerate this. seems unlkely though.


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and by the way, if anyone knows some smooth lines/tricks that enable me to get from that position to cuddling position easily, I'd love to know

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dude. you just go for it. seriously. they are either down or they are not. just give her a little smile and put your arm around her and be done with it.


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But when we get to her car, she's just like "Have a good break if I don't see you again...

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c'mon man. you just said that she was conservative, so i doubt she has a lot of experience with guys and relationships. make the move! just plan something and ask her to do it. either she will say yes or she will say no and then you can move on one way or the other. looks like you are going to be calling the shots with this one. so start calling.

[utmt40]

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I called her up, turns out she's leaving tomorrow night after her last final, so there's no time to do anything before break. She said she'd call me if she ends up going to that ski resort near me in Oregon, and she sounded disappointed about the fact that we wouldn't be able to see each other before she left. So, I think I'm in. To be continued in January...

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So, did you try and set this ski thing up? If not you should. Also, did you ask her to come over ect. or did she just up and say she was leaving b4 you got to ask?

Please be sure to update us on this matter.