Scary Bar Situation

[Godfather80]

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This brought images to mind of the self-beating-up in Fight Club. Nice post.

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Honestly, I'd run. But, if that wasn't an option, then really beating yourself up is the next best thing. Remember, he might not believe you if you just slug yourself in the gut, but if you punch yourself hard in the face and are spitting blood, he's gonna be pretty put out.

[Reef]

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1. Reach a hand up to one ear and look down and to the side. Say, "abort! Abort!" Then look confused. Say, "No, no... Wait! No, Thursday..... Pause.... wait... OK, chicken.. Well no wait. operation gopher meatball? No, ok, Thursday." (put your hand up as in "please hold on") continue your insanity on your mike until something interesting happens or it dissipates.

2. When he pulls his butterfly knife out, you make with the pantomime butterfly knife. Then pantomime every action he makes until you get stabbed, and then pantomime stabbing him too, which won’t actually hurt him, since you have a fictitious knife.

3. Grab an onlooker on either side and smash their heads together knocking both unconscious, then regain eye contact with short knife wielding dude…. See what happens. If nothing happens, go to plan 1.

4. Poo and fling it at him. If you score a hit, you should run because he will stab you. You could also drop trow and just start pooing. This will make it too weird to stab you.

5. Run up and grab his hand and force the knife into some non-lethal part of your body. This will freak him out… Say, “finish me….. …. …. FINISH ME!!!!!!!!” And he will run away. This will actually work I feel sure of it!

6. He started speaking some other language? You start speaking another language. Booyah! what’s up now, little philipino dude? You gonna stab a dude that speaks Japanese? HAHAHHAHAHA, oh [censored], yes you are.

7. Make out with a nearby dude. This will make him confused about the fact that you were making out with his girl. Tell him you thought his girl was a dude. Reach for his girls crotch to verify.

8. Pantomime “stuck behind an invisible wall”

9. Say, I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry. Then breakdance. If you can do the moonwalk, then do it. Because it’s like backing up, but better because no one REALIZES you’re backing up.

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POTY

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1. Reach a hand up to one ear and look down and to the side. Say, "abort! Abort!" Then look confused. Say, "No, no... Wait! No, Thursday..... Pause.... wait... OK, chicken.. Well no wait. operation gopher meatball? No, ok, Thursday." (put your hand up as in "please hold on") continue your insanity on your mike until something interesting happens or it dissipates.

2. When he pulls his butterfly knife out, you make with the pantomime butterfly knife. Then pantomime every action he makes until you get stabbed, and then pantomime stabbing him too, which won’t actually hurt him, since you have a fictitious knife.

3. Grab an onlooker on either side and smash their heads together knocking both unconscious, then regain eye contact with short knife wielding dude…. See what happens. If nothing happens, go to plan 1.

4. Poo and fling it at him. If you score a hit, you should run because he will stab you. You could also drop trow and just start pooing. This will make it too weird to stab you.

5. Run up and grab his hand and force the knife into some non-lethal part of your body. This will freak him out… Say, “finish me….. …. …. FINISH ME!!!!!!!!” And he will run away. This will actually work I feel sure of it!

6. He started speaking some other language? You start speaking another language. Booyah! what’s up now, little philipino dude? You gonna stab a dude that speaks Japanese? HAHAHHAHAHA, oh [censored], yes you are.

7. Make out with a nearby dude. This will make him confused about the fact that you were making out with his girl. Tell him you thought his girl was a dude. Reach for his girls crotch to verify.

8. Pantomime “stuck behind an invisible wall”

9. Say, I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry. Then breakdance. If you can do the moonwalk, then do it. Because it’s like backing up, but better because no one REALIZES you’re backing up.

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Wow, that is the meaning of LMAO

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Or do a flying roundhouse kick to his head.

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If he is as flexible as I am, the best he can do is a flying roundhouse kick to the hips. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Edit: I just hurt myself trying to kick a little higher. Damn you, OOT!

[man]

I know of a bouncer (working in the states) who had a knife pulled on him. the knifer was clearly nervous, so the bouncer did a karate stance (he didn't know karate) and said "all right, let's see what you got." dude dropped the knife and ran. I imagine something like this could work, but you never know with those crazy phillipenes.

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I know of a bouncer (working in the states) who had a knife pulled on him. the knifer was clearly nervous, so the bouncer did a karate stance (he didn't know karate) and said "all right, let's see what you got." dude dropped the knife and ran. I imagine something like this could work, but you never know with those crazy phillipenes.

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Now that is the right move if you have the gusto to pull it off.

[DMBFan23]

shoot him in the dick?

[chesspain]

I'm surprised you didn't get his V-card.

yeah man call the girl

she probably broke up with him that night.... if not he aint gonna find out.

[Blarg]

Rush anyone reaching into a pocket because it's a death sentence if he gets there.

Once it's out, if you have room to run before he can get a stab in on your back, do it. Better he laughs at your "cowardly" ass than that you wind up dead or disfigured. If I were that dude with a knife getting out-angled by a pretty boy, I'd go for the face, by the way. That'd put you right back down here with the rest of us. And solve the problem with the girlfriend at the same time.

Note: I'm not that guy and never would be.

This sounds like a set-up with the chick, by the way. What did you do, walk out the door and start sucking her face right away? If you were jumped as soon as you made an appearance, she had every reason to suspect he might be around, and probably wanted to be fought over. If not, she's pretty dumb. If so, she's even more dumb. You lose both ways.