One-Liner That Shuts Table Coaches Up...

[capped again]

I usually stay out of the trash talk. I don’t think it helps often to engage this type of mentality in conversation. It usually only encourages them. However, the other day things had deteriorated to a point where t/c and the fish were in an extended argument. I finally got fed up and said. “Ok kids, do I have to pull this car over?” It actually defused things and got both players to make funny comments themselves. Needless to say the t/c was back at it within 20 minutes. After reading the comments here I think I might try something like “Hey, we are here to have some fun, if you want serious poker and expert play try 15/30."

[Rah]

I usually ask whether he would prefer playing against [insert a pro people admire]. It works sometimes.

[cbfair]

I just observed an extensive coaching session while waiting for a seat. When one opened up (and two players will still discussing strategy), I typed this, "Hey, I'm a big sucker. If I sit down, will you promise not to give me lessons? I just want to have some fun..."

It seemed to work.

[1800GAMBLER]

'You'd rather everyone be worldclass?'

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
The thing with "stop biting the hand that feeds you" and the like is that the fish reads it too and it'll make him think...

[/ QUOTE ]


Absolutely.
This is part of my reasoning behind my general table-chat strategy. You don't want to point out to the bad player that he is actually playing badly.

FWIW - When I first started playing I didn't even know what the rules were (does full-house beat flush....what does 'muck' mean?? etc)
The first couple of table-coaches that I ran across actually did steer me into playing better.
When I got the good ol' "How can you play that crap?" it was actually news to me that the hand I played was actually crap or that there was even such a thing as a 'crap' hand.

I don't remember anyone attacking the coach to 'not tap on the glass' or 'let him play however he wants' or 'why do you want a bad player to play better' but I can DEFINITELY tell you that, in my case, it would only have served to further reinforce the idea that I actually was playing badly.

Some of these guys that are playing badly aren't exactly stupid, and they can read the chat too.
they just don't know how to play poker and are very likely newbies.

So, any strategy for shutting-up the T/C should not include FURTHER info that reinforces the notion that they are playing badly.
The strategy of "dude....it's not the World Series of Poker...we're here to have fun." or even "I thought he made a pretty good play actually" seems to have the better chance of achieving our goal of keeping the game as loosey-goosey as possible.

[Punker]

These almost all stink, and will not do anything to shut up a table coach, while at the same time insulting the fish the table coach is berating. First step is to realize that you should not want the table coach to calm down. You should want him to stay angry as he likely has some form of hand selection. Thus, your key should be to turn his anger on you, while mocking him and making the fish feel happy and welcome.

If you want a "one liner", I prefer just saying something stupid like "well, it is only play money, its all just for fun anyways".

[Insp. Clue!So?]

If the fish leaves, it might be safe to be truthful and point out the fundamental stupidity of educating your enemies.

If the fish stays, tell the genius to shove his mouse up his ass and let folks play the way they wanna. Or otherwise deflect attention to yourself and hold an ongoing insult-a-rama, hopefully with plenty of humor apended.

The basic problem of course is any comment you make that is likely to get through to the table captain will have even greater credibility with the fish.

Insp.

[Adde]

[ QUOTE ]
FWIW - When I first started playing I didn't even know what the rules were (does full-house beat flush....what does 'muck' mean?? etc)
The first couple of table-coaches that I ran across actually did steer me into playing better.
When I got the good ol' "How can you play that crap?" it was actually news to me that the hand I played was actually crap or that there was even such a thing as a 'crap' hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good post!

Adde

[Sam Rolstein]

Stop worrying about what other people are doing. Most people are A holes and are going to do what they want regardless of what you tell them .I have not had chat on for a 1 1/2 years. I hate people and do not want to have mindless chit chat with them. Thats the beauty of internet poker, people are just square boxes with money and numbers. If I want to talk about the game I will go to the casino and sit next to some smelly old guy .It's always fun to watch people touch the card's with orange finger tips after eating a bag of cheese doodels...the good old days .

[Bluffoon]

I try to delfect the attention away from the fish and on to me. A good way to do this is to defend the fishes action with some twisted and garbled logic. It is fun and effective and if you can convince your opponents that you are serious they may consider you a fish too.