Can guys and girls be just friends? - Page 6

Songwind · #51 12-07-2005, 12:57 PM

Now, as for the original question - sure, guys and girls can be friends. Even when one is attracted to the other. Even when there is mutual attraction. Even bum-bum-buuuuum when they're sleeping together.

I don't understand this idea that sexual attraction or even intimacy is somehow exclusive to friendship. If I couldn't be friends with a partner, I wouldn't bother having relationships. Sheesh. There are singles bars and hookers for sex without friendship. Sure, it adds another level of complexity to the relationship, but so does being roommates, or business partners. You just have to approach the friendship with those things in mind.

I've been friends with plenty of women I found attractive. Sometimes those aspects were added to the relationship, sometimes they weren't. Sometimes the attraction went away when I got to know them better, and sometimes it got stronger. It's definitely possible - but maybe not for everyone.

Kurn, son of Mogh · #52 12-07-2005, 05:34 PM

Can guys and girls be just friends?

Sure, as long as the girls understand that there's nothing wrong with having sex just for the hell of it. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

UATrewqaz · #53 12-07-2005, 07:20 PM

The answer is yes ONLY if both sides have no physicall attraction to each other whatsoever (which is rarely the case).

#54 12-07-2005, 09:18 PM

No.

Pog0 · #55 12-08-2005, 02:43 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Now, as for the original question - sure, guys and girls can be friends. Even when one is attracted to the other. Even when there is mutual attraction. Even bum-bum-buuuuum when they're sleeping together.

I don't understand this idea that sexual attraction or even intimacy is somehow exclusive to friendship. If I couldn't be friends with a partner, I wouldn't bother having relationships. Sheesh. There are singles bars and hookers for sex without friendship. Sure, it adds another level of complexity to the relationship, but so does being roommates, or business partners. You just have to approach the friendship with those things in mind.

I've been friends with plenty of women I found attractive. Sometimes those aspects were added to the relationship, sometimes they weren't. Sometimes the attraction went away when I got to know them better, and sometimes it got stronger. It's definitely possible - but maybe not for everyone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Basically, people are attributing very strict guidelines to what constitues a "friendship" and what constitues a "relationship".

There will be a different dynamic to every relationship (relationship in a general sense, not sexual). Sure, what you have may fit in closely with what society deems 'friendship' or 'relationship' but rarely will it every fit in perfectly. You can easily find yourself somewhere completely different and there's nothing wrong with that.

Pog0 · #56 12-08-2005, 02:50 AM

Many girls say that they can't be friends with girls, and thus, most of their friends are guys.

Reason? Usually they say that guys are just more sensible. That girls get upset over small details, or just fight for attention. I don't want to get into an argument about the reasons because I'm not sure about them at all.

So what ensues? Well, girls like to have guys as friends. Because of this need for friendship, and because they get it from guys, they will be less likely to become attracted to their guys friends because they have a lot of them, and becuase they need to have basic friendships.

Guys on the other hand can be friends with other guys and friends with girls. They don't need girls for friendship since they can get it from guys. Since they can get their friendships elsewhere, guys don't have a necessary need to be friends with girls and are thus more likely to become attracted to them.

Some of my wording needs to be reworked, but this is what I came up with when I was discussing the topic with a girl who is a new friend of mine. I feel like I have the ability to choose whether or not to become infatuated with her or not.

Irrelavantly, it's my understanding that guys will be more open to sexual advances from girls who are their friends than vice versa... it just seems easier to imagine a girl getting offended rather than flattered. Can this stigma be lifted, or should there be a public outreach message letting girls know that if they want to get physical with a guy who is her friend, she's better off making the first move?

BarronVangorToth · #57 12-08-2005, 10:16 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My closest and best friend for over a decade is female, myself being male. I see no problems with it, except that some of my girlfriends and some of her boyfriends have had issues with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is not now, nor has there every been any sexual attraction...

her to you or you to her either way.

[/ QUOTE ]

In general, this MAY be the case, but I don't think it's always true. For example, there are two people that I would consider my "best friends." One of which is a female -- who, when I was younger, was my first real crush (she was the babysitter of one of my friends). Twenty-five years later, and she's been one of my best friends for years.

Barron Vangor Toth
BarronVangorToth.com