Going for the threesome, long run -EV?

[cbfair]

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Denying that opportunity would certainly be tough, but I would earn tons of brownie points and suspicion free nights out with the boys.

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Your best play and its not even close. An awkward next morning and who knows what else is way too big a price to pay for one night of passion. Remember, you two signed up for a lifetime of "to have and to hold"; the first year or two is all about getting to know one another and establishing boundries.

You'll have a whole lifetime to follow through on this if it truly is in the cards but I would be damn certain its the right thing to do before initiating anything at all. If she's defensive around the subject now and even the slightest bit jealous, forget about it cause it can't work until you can talk openly and securely about it.

cbf

[squeek12]

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I say go for it. If you wanna play the averages your marriage is going to end in ruins anyway (I'd say the fact ure even making this post means ure marriage is about 80% to fail in the future). You might as well get some good 3 way sex out of the deal before your wife gets fat, shits out a couple kids and you spend the rest of your life slaving away to make alimony and child support payments. This way you avoid having to do all that.

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I think my marriage is as normal as they come and this threesome talk is a longshot at best. I was just curious if others had been in this situation before and to know how they handled it.

[yoadrians]

I've been a part of two threesomes:

FIRST ONE: Me, a buddy and a girl we were both kind of friends with. Very fun during, very dirty/strange after. He and I are still friends ... the girl won't look either of us in the eye anymore. And that's too bad - she was cool.

SECOND ONE: Me, an ex-girlfriend and her hot roommate. Again, lots of fun during, and after, my girlfriend was SO jealous everytime her and said roommate were alone in the same room together, she and I broke up, and she and her roommate stopped being friends.

The lesson here: Dude, they are AWESOME to think about, and they are FANTASTIC to take part in.

But nothing good ever follows ... and these two were BEFORE I met my current wife. I don't want to even THINK about what the aftermath of something like this could do to a marriage.

Don't do it. You think it will be fun, and trust me, it WILL be fun.

You also think you'll be able to move on after it ... and trust me, that part is much tougher to deal with.

[StevieG]

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Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake. I think it would, but it would be interesting to hear advice/stories from anyone who has been in this predicament before.

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It could be a mistake in the short run only. In the long run (and I am talking 5 years and beyond), it will be just one of the many shared experiences you have, pleasant and unpleasant, and it won't be the particular focus of anything.

In the short run, if she is the jealous type, if both of you are the type to bring up past incidents in arguments, then this could be a lot of trouble.

[Etric]

You only live once; go for it. You can always "modify" the story later and claim not to remember certain parts of it.

[Brian]

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Stories about people who have had this happen to them while in a relationship?

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A little background: I am currently 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We have been together for 3 years now, and about 2 years ago we had our first threesome. Even at that point, our relationship was pretty serious (living together, taking lots of out of country trips together, etc.), and I was starting to get worried about missing out on action since all my friends my age were out getting laid everynight [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]. While I was happy to sit home and watch Amelie every now and then, I craved a little more excitement... In other words, I wanted what every guy wants: The nice, steady, wonderful girlfriend and then some extra pussy on the side. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I spent a few months approaching my girlfriend about it. Sometimes it repulsed her, other times it intrigued her. Ultimately, we had a lot of discussions about it, and I convinced her to try it just once while we were still young, and if she ever felt uncomfortable, then we could back out, and if she didn't like it, we never had to do it again.

The girl we found was a girl I had slept with before, and I felt they would get along really well because of their personalities. It was actually pretty awkward when I took them both out for dinner to meet each other, because they babbled to each other in girltalk the entire way through, and I just sort of sat there throwing in made-up words and phrases about purses and shoes every once in awhile. I was actually worried that the 3some wasn't ever going to happen with her, not because they didn't get along well, but because they got along too well and looked like they were going to turn in to shopping buddies, not pooper buddies.

However, we eventually all went over to the girl's place for her to show outfits to my girlfriend, we had a few drinks, I stuck it in her pooper, etc. etc. etc. Things went about as well as they could go, and my gf said she genuinely enjoyed it, and we later sought out other experiences. Yet, sitting here two years later, when I showed her this very thread in OOT, we started arguing about it, and have had other arguments about it in the past. Bottom line: GF/wifey's hold too much jealousy (and I'm not blaming them, 'cause I would too) to ever allow this sort of thing to happen, and even if it does and your relationship/marriage survives, it will probably cause a lot of unneeded stress/long talks down the road.

The dilemma is that most people don't want to be in a serious relationship with the type of woman who has absolutely no problem with their boyfriends sleeping with other women, yet if you want to have a 3some, that is exactly the type of person you need. I won't rehash what the other posters have said other than to say I agree with them 100%. Good luck,

-Brian

P.S. GF has been watching me type this whole thing, PM me for what really happened. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Matt Williams]

Just ask yourself this question. Would you be willing to let another guy bang your wife and not be jealous?

[Luv2DriveTT]

Been there, done that... and trust me it isn't all that great. Your wife's mental sanity is more important than the two of you nailing her friend.

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[jakethebake]

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Just ask yourself this question. Would you be willing to let another guy bang your wife and not be jealous?

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what does that have to do with anything?

[Vavavoom]

I'll give u a clue.....I worked abroad as a holiday rep for 4 years and have done some crazy wacky behaviour...

I have had 2 3-somes and a 4-some...

* Me & male buddy and some random chick........We absolutely put her to bed....we were having a great old time.....but did nothing to each other (FWIW)

* Me and same male friend with 2 chicks.....was quite a fun evening...

* Best of the 3 was me and a girl (8.5 out of 10) who I had been having casual sex with...and her best pal (6 out of 10) who fancied me....They got a little drunk and met me together....and I went back and had possibly the best sexula experience of my life........they did some wacky stuff together......and we all had a great time....

In answer to OP......3somes for men are :

* +EV if 2 random single women.....
* +EV if girlfriend and her pal and she suggests it...
* -EV every other possible situation that involves 3 people....

And for the record, even if it means I am one selfish Mo-Fo....No girlfriend of mine is going to be banged by another bloke whilst I'm present.....

Its a tough call..........I think if she does this now, she sets a precedent and you'll want another situation like this at another time....which she may not feel comfortable with....