Going for the threesome, long run -EV? - Page 2

asofel · #11 06-23-2005, 06:18 PM

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it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

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mirrors my thoughts. depends how valuable your marriage is to you because I dount it would survive long after this.

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i do so enjoy your avatar.

squeek12 · #12 06-23-2005, 06:18 PM

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it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

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yep. she's defensive about it when sober and denies it PLUS the fact that she's kinda jealous!? steer clear, not worth it.

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I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up? It's not likely, but also not impossible IMO. How do I play that hand. Denying that opportunity would certainly be tough, but I would earn tons of brownie points and suspicion free nights out with the boys.

asofel · #13 06-23-2005, 06:23 PM

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it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

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yep. she's defensive about it when sober and denies it PLUS the fact that she's kinda jealous!? steer clear, not worth it.

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I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up? It's not likely, but also not impossible IMO. How do I play that hand. Denying that opportunity would certainly be tough, but I would earn tons of brownie points and suspicion free nights out with the boys.

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If she does something like kiss or flirt heavily with a friend when drunk, tell her the next day. Tell her its ok and doesn't bother you, but don't be defensive about it, its perfectly natural. Until you have this discussion and you can talk openly about it, even if she brings it up, you'll be dealing with a world of [censored] the next day. "I can't believe you said yes, I was drunk, I didn't really want to" etc...

gumpzilla · #14 06-23-2005, 06:25 PM

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I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up?

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If she brings it up sometime when sober, then I think you should discuss it pretty thoroughly. In particular, I think you should argue the cons fairly forcefully. The jealousy issue is a major one, and if there's even a hint of that it's probably going to be difficult to deal with after the fact. This is the number one reason why my girlfriend would have no interest in it, for example. As for her sober rejection of any kind of hint of lesbian attraction, I don't think that this is nearly as bad. It's possible that she'll flip out about this and pin some of the blame on you, but I think this is far less of a concern than the jealousy stuff.

I concur with most of the posters here that given how you've described the situation, it's probably unwise for you to maneuver for it at all if your main goal is a long-term, happy marriage (assuming that you're happy in a marriage that doesn't involve threesomes.) This goes double for letting it happen some night when she's drunk.

Alobar · #15 06-23-2005, 06:27 PM

I say go for it. If you wanna play the averages your marriage is going to end in ruins anyway (I'd say the fact ure even making this post means ure marriage is about 80% to fail in the future). You might as well get some good 3 way sex out of the deal before your wife gets fat, shits out a couple kids and you spend the rest of your life slaving away to make alimony and child support payments. This way you avoid having to do all that.

[censored] · #16 06-23-2005, 06:29 PM

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I say go for it. If you wanna play the averages your marriage is going to end in ruins anyway (I'd say the fact ure even making this post means ure marriage is about 80% to fail in the future).

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Sounds harsh but that was my initial reaction as well.

CallMeIshmael · #17 06-23-2005, 06:29 PM

A female friend of mind had a druken threesome with a guy and his girlfriend.

She said the time she sees either of them around campus is just about the most awkward momement in her life.

As amazing as it would be, I bet, when you are all sobered up, it wouldnt be worth it.

MoreWineII · #18 06-23-2005, 06:30 PM

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I'm recently married, but my wife and I are still very young(23 and 22 respectively) and enjoy our share of drunken debauchery. I've noticed that when she gets smashed she gravitates toward some of our girl friends and gets a little frisky.

I know that at least one of our friends would most likely be up for it if the circumstances were right. The problem is that when my wife sobers up she denies attraction to women and gets a little defensive. She is also a little more jealous than the average wife/girlfriend.

Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake. I think it would, but it would be interesting to hear advice/stories from anyone who has been in this predicament before.

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Your wife sounds similar to mine. Just be sure you're really ready for any fallout. fwiw, your wife's attitude after the fact will depends ENTIRELY upon your interaction with the other girl. In other words, don't spend the whole time fiddling with the other girl and ignoring your wife. Not only will you probably never have another threesome again, but you're going to have a mopey wife for a few months at least.

Encourage the two of them to get frisky and while they're intoxicated with all that lesbian [censored], you do your thing in or on your wife. I'd leave the other girl alone pretty much entirely for the first time, actually.

And add LOTS and LOTS of booze to the mix.

I think it's bullshit, btw, that you can't add this aspect to your marriage w/o ruining it. Assuming, of course, that you're both going into it willingly.

squeek12 · #19 06-23-2005, 06:30 PM

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If she does something like kiss or flirt heavily with a friend when drunk, tell her the next day. Tell her its ok and doesn't bother you, but don't be defensive about it, its perfectly natural. Until you have this discussion and you can talk openly about it, even if she brings it up, you'll be dealing with a world of [censored] the next day. "I can't believe you said yes, I was drunk, I didn't really want to" etc...

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I think this is good advice. I mostly started the thread to breed some half-hearted, witty advice. I'm surprised the tone has been so serious. So far it has only confirmed what I had suspected myself.

Stories about people who have had this happen to them while in a relationship?

CallMeIshmael · #20 06-23-2005, 06:32 PM

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fwiw, your wife's attitude after the fact will depends ENTIRELY upon your interaction with the other girl. In other words, don't spend the whole time fiddling with the other girl and ignoring your wife.

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This is a good point.

The girl I mentioned in my post said that the guy showed her more attention than he did his girlfriend, and the girlfriend got really pissy, and left before things were finished.