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#21
11-01-2005, 06:08 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
I am a stay at home dad who cooks, cleans, plays soccer-dad, coaches, gives the wife back rubs, and sends her off on girls weekends and happy hours [/ QUOTE ] How has he not gotten flamed for this yet? 
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#23
11-01-2005, 06:10 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
My son is now 3, and since his birth things have been quite slow. I know many women go through this after pregnancy, but I was hoping we would be back to normal by now. [/ QUOTE ] 3 years seems like an awful long time for postpartum depression to be the only problem. There are some deeper issues surrounding the birth of your son that she doesnt recognize or doesnt wish to talk about. Maybe she felt sex was mostly used for procreation rather then enjoyment, now she has the kid there is no reason for sex. Maybe she has issues with how she perceives her body and her attractiveness since the birth, maybe she, well you get the picture. Professional help is probably your best and only solution at this point in time
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#24
11-01-2005, 06:11 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] And if this is the case, the only thing you can do is give her space. [/ QUOTE ] I disagree with this entirely. She needs to be reassured, and she needs to be reassured by you. Buy her lingerie. Go shopping and convince her to buy some sexy clothes. Take her to the...uhhh...adult novelty store. Do whatever you can to make her feel sexy. [/ QUOTE ] I am not sure if this is related to the self image, but she recently got a tatoo on her backside (shhh, this is a secret), and she has recently started to wear thongs (underwear). I wouldn't think she would do this with too poor of a self image. I do constantly reassure her, and tell her how much she means to me. At the risk of being flamed by the "manly" guys I am a family man who loves his position in life, just not so much in the bedroom.
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#25
11-01-2005, 06:11 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
One idea when comes comes in form work then lights out candles on, maybe a hot soak in the bath together. Then instead of backrub have give her proper massage with relaxing oils with candles on still, as she destresses and relaxes make the massage more sexual. Obviously may have to wait for the kids to bed.
Inject some passion back in, give her spur of the moment hugs and kisses, initiate sex in different places, have a night out like when you first met as if its a first date. Get some toys, maybe one of them sex games which have suggestions on it. SOunds like you can communicate both write down 10 things would like and make sure do 1 a week for a few weeks. Just have to break the current habits make it exciting again. what about a dirty weekend away you and her locked away in a hotel room few toys, some nice wine and stuff and spend time for you guys. Sometimes its hard when have kids and all the rushing around and stresses of running a normal family and work that the you (as in couple) time gets lost. Take some time out for yourselves even if only one night a week where the kids goto bed and you spend a proper evening together over a meal, cuddling up watching a dvd with some wine whatever. Break the cycle and spice it up and I am sure the rewards will come.
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#26
11-01-2005, 06:13 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
I am not sure if this is related to the self image, but she recently got a tatoo on her backside (shhh, this is a secret), and she has recently started to wear thongs (underwear). I wouldn't think she would do this with too poor of a self image. [/ QUOTE ] There are two possibilities here. One is that she knows she has a problem and she's trying to make herself feel better about herself...sexier, which is good. She knows there's a problem. The other is that she's got a new boyfriend. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [ QUOTE ] I do constantly reassure her, and tell her how much she means to me. [/ QUOTE ] Don't tell her how much she means to you. Make her feel SEXY! These are not the same things.
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#27
11-01-2005, 06:13 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
I am not sure if this is related to the self image, but she recently got a tatoo on her backside (shhh, this is a secret), and she has recently started to wear thongs (underwear). I wouldn't think she would do this with too poor of a self image. [/ QUOTE ] She's banging some other guy. You really need to seek some professional help here.
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#28
11-01-2005, 06:14 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
I am not sure if this is related to the self image, but she recently got a tatoo on her backside [/ QUOTE ] Does the tattoo actually say "I'm cheating on my husband" or is that just implied?
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#29
11-01-2005, 06:14 PM
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Re: Just another sorry thirty-something!
[ QUOTE ]
I am not sure if this is related to the self image, but she recently got a tatoo on her backside (shhh, this is a secret), and she has recently started to wear thongs (underwear). [/ QUOTE ] Uh oh. It'll be interesting - if you decide to go that route - how she'll react when you bring up marriage counseling/psychiatrist. EDIT: The "uh oh" was for the same reason as jaydub's response.
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