Difficult Situation With A Close Friend - Page 2

HopeydaFish · #11 11-18-2005, 12:59 AM

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Is he hurting anyone else? If not, let him be, don't be arrogant and self-righteous! He may have a different outlook on life than you have. He may have matured.

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Drops out of school, hangs out with teenagers, does a lot of drugs...yup, sounds like he has matured.

#12 11-18-2005, 04:35 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Is he hurting anyone else? If not, let him be, don't be arrogant and self-righteous! He may have a different outlook on life than you have. He may have matured.

[/ QUOTE ]

are you mental?---you could do the let him hit rock bottom, but if its as bad as you say and you are actually want to make the effort to take real steps, if he is living on his dad's money talk to the father about it, maybe ask the father what he thinks about rehab,

#13 11-18-2005, 04:56 AM

fm191124,

You may say I am mental. I don't know anything about the value of your judgement. To explain further: conventional life is not for everyone. I just try to be non-judgemental. If he doesn't harm anyone else, from my viewpoint, he has the right to try what he wants. What's more, if I figure out the guy properly, from the little I know, I suspect he would hate interference and probably go harder at it, for spite.

Anyway, you are enttitled to your views. I simply want to assure you that I have his best interests at heart in suggesting that he probably doesn't want to be interfered with. But I know some people cannot help themselves, they have to set everyone else right (according to their, or the majority, view).

#14 11-18-2005, 10:40 AM

[ QUOTE ]
fm191124,

You may say I am mental. I don't know anything about the value of your judgement. To explain further: conventional life is not for everyone. I just try to be non-judgemental. If he doesn't harm anyone else, from my viewpoint, he has the right to try what he wants. What's more, if I figure out the guy properly, from the little I know, I suspect he would hate interference and probably go harder at it, for spite.

Anyway, you are enttitled to your views. I simply want to assure you that I have his best interests at heart in suggesting that he probably doesn't want to be interfered with. But I know some people cannot help themselves, they have to set everyone else right (according to their, or the majority, view).

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not some broader societal issue about conformity and ambition.

This is about one person who this guy feels is throwing his life away.

And he's not trying to "set him right" - he just wants to express his concerns about the decisions his friend is making.

If you talk to addicts in rehab, most of them will tell you that they never would have gotten there if it hadn't been for someone who cared about them forcing them to face up to their reality.

#15 11-18-2005, 06:00 PM

you are poste like these and are good...yet you are
ins ult a few of my freind on here..call them "b' word and
such...it hard to like you if you not know if you are a mean
person or just f up beca use what happen you.

you ow my frinds apologey.........

HopeydaFish · #16 11-18-2005, 06:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
you are poste like these and are good...yet you are
ins ult a few of my freind on here..call them "b' word and
such...it hard to like you if you not know if you are a mean
person or just f up beca use what happen you.

you ow my frinds apologey.........

[/ QUOTE ]

Drinking and posting don't mix.

#17 11-20-2005, 06:20 AM

My very reluctant two cents:

Speaking to him will not change his behavior to your liking. It may make you feel better knowing you have tried but I strongly doubt it's beneficial effect. You've drifted apart and in a year will hardly speak at all.

This is a family matter. If you think that things are that bad and that you owe him a duty speak to his family. They are the ones with influence and are the ones most interested and most likely to be successful with an intervention, if needed.

SNOWBALL138 · #18 11-20-2005, 10:05 AM

It sounds like Mark is changing, and that its difficult for you and he to understand eachother and communicate on the same level. Because he's not in school and doesn't work, he lives in a different world than you do. This is a very difficult situation, because you can't say to him "Mark, don't you worry about your grades, etc.?"

When people remove themselves from productive society their goals and values shift drastically. Motivating Mark to change is going to require a paradigm shift. Its unlikely that having a few good conversations with Mark will suffice.

This situation seems too difficult for you and Ben to handle. Have you considered talking to his Dad?

Good luck.