What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[Manimal 42]

I'll be chuckling about the the Quads with a weak kicker for the rest of the day.

I stalked a UB "buddy" last night to a low limit game and when her A 3o lost to A Js (Axxxx on the board) she typed:

"I hate kickers!"

I almost fell off the chair. Do they make seatbelts for office chairs? ;~)

[MrDetroit]

"I ain't got no pair."
by the legandary Orlando.........

-MD

[Cazz]

6 table NLHE tourney at the local casino.
After one of the players busted out I asked him how he
did. He told me that this one guy had been raising
with bad cards so he finally when he thought the other guy was bluffing he made a stand w/ 74s.
I said "You reraised enough to push him off a bluff and he had a good hand?".
He said "No, he raised and I called all-in."
"Why would you do this?"
" He was an idiot. He had been raising with trash all night. "

Right.... its the idiots that raise w/ trash,
and the geniuses that call with trash.

[jmark]

At our home game one player was yelling at me because I played too tight. He was saying I should play more hands and yelled "We came here to win money, not to grind out the rent!"

[Talk2BigSteve]

One of the guys at the local B&M casino tonight had J [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]J [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] and mucked them when the flop came A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]A [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] after the hand people were talking and someone said "I can't believe you mucked Pocket Jacks, that is just stupid!" and he responded " Oh Please, Go Muck Yourself " I almost did a spit take. I was laughing so hard.

Living, Learning, and Laughing
Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[DEvice]

A fellow poker player was telling me about this one:

He was playing 10/20 LimitHE and the hand between himself and this young kid with shades on goes to the river. The kid is first to act and kinda thinks for a bit--the takes off his shades and says "How much you got left?"

[Evan]

I was playing one of the 1/2 NL games here in NYC and it was me and this Chris Moneymaker wannbe headsup to the flop. I was in the 6 seat and he was in the 4 seat. I don't remember the cards but I bet out someting about equal to the pot which was probably $20 or so. He gets out of his chair and walks around behind the 2 seat so he can get a better "read" on me. After staring at me for 5 or 10 seconds I calmly reminded him that we were paying time. He stares a little longer, takes off his glasses and says, "What do you have?" I laugh a little and eyeball my stack, it's something like $350 I think so I tell him. He clarifies himself by saying, "No, what are your cards?" I look down at my cards and respond, "Jokers." He ponders a bit more, walks back around to his seat and mucks something like T8o (no draw, no pair) face up.

I guess that wasn't really one line, but it was certainly the best acting I've ever seen.

[ohiou]

This one has happened a few times. As a new player sits at the table he says, "Yup, Texas Hold Em. The Cadillac of poker."

My favorite because you know he just watched Rounders for the first time

[CaptObvious]

"I had to call, they were suited."

Oh god does that bug me.

[Sponger15SB]

I just remembered hearing this one time:

We had gotten to talking about TV poker and some guy claimed he doesn't watch TV poker and thought it was stupid. Then about 20 minutes later he says this as his stack starts to dwindle: (in limit, no less)

"I'm gonna have to make some deparation calls here"

Which is what Dutch Boyd said after his big confrontation with moneymaker in the 2003 WSOP...

I immediately gave him the works for it.