Was I out of line here? - Page 2

Harv72b · #11 07-31-2005, 01:05 PM

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The problem with this is that the OP is male. Girls tend to care much more about this kind of stuff than guys do.

In fact, I don't know if the OP can even put himself in her shoes, since I doubt he'd ever ask her to come over, "but no messing around, just sleep!"

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The "no messing around" part just makes it worse, as she will now interpret his decision as being a rejection of her when there isn't the potential for messing around. In her mind, she's thinking that he just wasn't interested in spending time with her that night, but would gladly have made the 40 minute drive with all its complications if he thought he might get laid (I'm making the assumption that this was/is a sexual relationship).

It doesn't matter if a guy would ever put himself into that precise predicament. It only matters how she interprets it, if the OP is really interested in continuing the relationship. I left out that particular detail in the first post because it doesn't often apply from his perspective.

WackityWhiz · #12 07-31-2005, 01:18 PM

d00d, our gf's should get together sometime, cuz they both seem to overreact about the dumbest [censored]. I feel your pain

ChoicestHops · #13 07-31-2005, 01:24 PM

I can see where she's coming from. Not that I agree with her. What if you called her and asked if she wanted to come to your place to watch a movie for the night. She declines, and then you call her again an hour later. She's at the club with some friends slutting it up. Would you be pissed?

Granted, she only asked you to go to her place to sleep. But girls takes things like this seriously. They need cuddle bitches. It makes them feel loved that you would go out of your way just to sleep with her.

Even so, she overracted. You didn't know about the party when she asked you this, and it sounds like it was very unexpected.

Mason Hellmuth · #14 07-31-2005, 01:32 PM

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who was leaving the next day.

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This is really the key. If the party was with some friends you can just see anytime, she might have a leg to stand on. But the fact that he's leaving town makes this a special case. She overreacted.

[censored] · #15 07-31-2005, 01:36 PM

You weren't so much out of line as you could have played it better.

Mr. Zero · #16 07-31-2005, 01:58 PM

This is so dumb.

Next time just call her after your buddy gives you the invite to the kegger. Say "Hey, I just found out some buddies are throwing a party for a friend who's leaving town soon. I feel like I need to make an appearance. You want to join me?"

She'll probably say no because she's tired from work. But by doing this you have (1) told her that you're going out, (2) told her why you didn't mention it before and (3) invited her.

Bradyams · #17 07-31-2005, 02:14 PM

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This is so dumb.

Next time just call her after your buddy gives you the invite to the kegger. Say "Hey, I just found out some buddies are throwing a party for a friend who's leaving town soon. I feel like I need to make an appearance. You want to join me?"

She'll probably say no because she's tired from work. But by doing this you have (1) told her that you're going out, (2) told her why you didn't mention it before and (3) invited her.

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Very true, and for some reason I never think of these things. I usually just go with the flow, and do whatever happens. I really do need to just take a few seconds and think about what's going on.

arod15 · #18 07-31-2005, 02:16 PM

Yes a little. Just go to her house. say you were about to call her and were going to go over. FLowers are perhaps in order. Send me a PM i can get you a discount from 1800flowers.....

ggbman · #19 07-31-2005, 03:23 PM

I dont think you were out of line, but breaking up over something like this is rash. Tell her you care about here, and that it was your friends last night here. Cite examples of how you care about her and exaplin that you didn't want to ditch her, but you just wanted to see you friend for the last time in a while.

Gabe

meep_42 · #20 07-31-2005, 03:27 PM

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This is so dumb.

Next time just call her after your buddy gives you the invite to the kegger. Say "Hey, I just found out some buddies are throwing a party for a friend who's leaving town soon. I feel like I need to make an appearance. You want to join me?"

She'll probably say no because she's tired from work. But by doing this you have (1) told her that you're going out, (2) told her why you didn't mention it before and (3) invited her.

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This is obviously the correct play.

-d