Was I out of line here?

[Bradyams]

Preface: Prior to Friday night my girlfriend and I had hung out for 4-5 nights out of the last week. Thursday night we went to Denver for some type of Disney show at the Denver of Performing Arts Center for her birthday.

Friday night I'm sitting around at my Mom's house (I'm house sitting for her while she is in Brazil), and my grilfriend calls me from work (she gets off at 10:30). She asks if I want to go to her house and spend the night with her. She says she's tired and she's just going to go to sleep, and that's it. I don't really feel like driving the the 30-40 minutes to her house just sleep in the same bed as her. Especially since as soon as I wake up I just need to go back to my Mom's to finish up some chores before they get back. I tell her that I don't really want to, and she's fine with that. I then ask her if she wants to stay with me since her work is only 10 minutes from my Mom's house. She says she doesn't have enough gas to come out here, and then go home. I say OK, and that's the end of it.

Then around 9:30 my really good friend calls me, and tells me they're filling up a keg, and going to my friend's house to throw a party since it's his last night before he goes back to Indiana for school (we're in Colorado). Their house is about 20 minutes away. I say I'm there and I get ready, and leave.

When I'm there my GF calls me when she gets off work, I tell her where I'm at, and she goes off the deep end. She says it's bullshit that I "blew her off", and went to my friends house. I'm completely appalled that she can even be mad at me for this. I didn't want to drive 40 minutes just to sleep, and I'd much rather drive 20 minutes to party with my friend who was leaving the next day. I don't see how she couldn't understand that. Our phone conversation ended with me calling her a bitch, and hanging up on her.

Another friend heard the end of the convo and asked what was up with that. I gave him a breif explanation, and he told me that he can see where she's coming from. What?! Am I the only one that doesn't get why she's mad?

I haven't talked to her since Friday night, and I'm not looking forward to it. Our relationship will probably be over soon due to that, and other things, but I was curious if OOT thought I was out of line, or if she really is being a bitch, or if should just SIIHP.

Personally, I think she's being way too controlling, and I'm [censored] sick of it.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Was I out of line here?

[/ QUOTE ]

google is your friend

(and no, i don't think you did anything wrong until you called her a btch, but she might have interpretted the situation differently.)

[SamIAm]

[ QUOTE ]
Our phone conversation ended with me calling her a bitch, and hanging up on her.

[/ QUOTE ]This is never the right plan. I'm not saying you have to be a push-over, but name-calling and hanging-up is the step you take when you're breaking-up, not deciding whether to break-up. You chose emotional release over the strategic decision.

You went on relationship-tilt. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
-Sam

[Harv72b]

You were out of line. Reverse the roles, where you ask her to come spend the night with you, she tells you she really can't because it's a long drive & she just has to drive back home in the morning & she has a bunch of stuff she needs to do tomorrow, and then you find out later that she went out drinking with her friends.

Wouldn't you be a bit upset?

You're young. In time you'll learn that the only possible course of action after declining to spend the night with her was to call her before you went to the party to explain the circumstances to her. And ask if she'd like to come.

That is, if you don't want to end up where you are.

[zoomOut]

yikes, reading this is almost painful. You are a great writer because you presented this really well. I actually don't think you were out of line however, on hindsight, some of this might have been avoided if you had simply told her that you were pretty bored and restless and really weren't in the mood to watch her sleep. Then she wouldn't have been so shocked when you did what you did. I'm pretty sure you can talk this through and tell her honestly why she is being annoying. Don't raise your voice or call her names, just be straight forward and explain your position.

Bottom line: you were not out of line. She's being a little emotional.

[Bradyams]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't raise your voice or call her names, just be straight forward and explain your position.

[/ QUOTE ]

For the record I didn't immediately come out swinging, and calling names. She told me why she was upset, I explained my situation, and then she wouldn't stop bitching me out. That combined with the fact I was missing out on the party, I was pissed, and just wanted to get off the phone with her.

[Talk2BigSteve]

Kick her to the curb. <font color="white"> I am so glad I don't have to deal with pussy in my life.
</font>
Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[zoomOut]

Got it. I can picture the whole thing. Aren't girlfriends fun! [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
You were out of line. Reverse the roles, where you ask her to come spend the night with you, she tells you she really can't because it's a long drive &amp; she just has to drive back home in the morning &amp; she has a bunch of stuff she needs to do tomorrow, and then you find out later that she went out drinking with her friends.

[/ QUOTE ]
The problem with this is that the OP is male. Girls tend to care much more about this kind of stuff than guys do.

In fact, I don't know if the OP can even put himself in her shoes, since I doubt he'd ever ask her to come over, "but no messing around, just sleep!"

[Dangergirl]

Personally, I would not have cared here. I don't think you did any harm in going to the party. AFter all your friend leaves soon. I would be pissed about the name calling though. Bitch is pretty harsh.