Favorite Simpsons Quote

[mostsmooth]

me fail english?, thats unpossible

[scott8]

Homer tells Marge that the family needs to start eating better.
Marge "You're the one who puts butter in the coffee"

[beerbandit]

Homer: Oh, who am I kidding? I _am_ slow.
Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always
things you can do to feel better.
Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor?
Marge: There's that...or you could take an adult education course.

Homer: Oh, and how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter?
Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old
stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-
making course and I forgot how to drive?

Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.




cheers

[Pocket Trips]

From the one where homer is sent to AA "My name is OTTOOOO and I like to get BLOTTOOOO"

When homer leads the plant workers on strike and Mr. Burns sends goons to intimidate him


(knocking on door)
Homer: who's there?
from the other side of the door "goons, Hired goons"

When Mr burns sold the nuclear plant to the germans and they ask if anyone has a drinking problem so they can send them to rehab

"does anyone here have a drinking problem?"
varios people in the crowd say " I do, I do Me too,"

and one guy says "hell, I'm drunk right now"

[CostaRicaBill]

When Homer plugs a nuclear reactor.

Bart: "Wow, this is the first time that your butt actually PREVENTED the release of toxic gas."

[Blarg]

Ralph: I picked my nose so hard one time it bleeded.
Private Eye: Somebody really worked this guy over.

Homer, reading Private Eye's report on Lisa: Pet Peeves: Phonies? I thought she loved them!

[anisotropy]

The best Ralph quotes are from the one where he wins the diorama contest:

Ralph: I bent my wookie!

[kerssens]

Ralph with bandages over both eyes, speaking in front of the class.

"Then the doctor told me both my eyes were lazy. That's why it was the greatest summer ever!"

[youtalkfunny]

RALPH: And when the doctor told me I no longer had worms, it was the happiest day of my life!

RALPH: The doctor says my nose wouldn't bleed so much if I just kept my fingers out of there.

[Blarg]

Homer, on launching a backyard rocket with Bart and Milhaus:

Son, we are about to leave the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God!