Sick Ol' Loose Bad Beater

[Dan Druff]

LOOSE BAD BEATER
(Sung to the tune of "Jet Airliner" by the Steve Miller Band)

(c) 2003 Dan Druff Productions

Raisin' pre-flop with two high cards
No one's in before
Holdin' big slick, I've flopped my ace
I check raise and you call once more
Now my trips show up here on the turn
And it feels like I'm on a rush
The river brings up that ugly spade
And you beat me with a backdoor flush

Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
Don't be calling two-cold today
Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
With you in, no pots go my way

Goodbye to all my racks of chips
Goodbye to the techniques I've trusted
Right now I lead with my turned nut flush
And when the board pairs I know it gets busted
When I raise with my pre-flop aces
You'll cap it with your offsuit deuce-seven
And by the odds your money's all mine
But when you river your two-pair
You'll be in fishy heaven

Sick ol' loose bad beater
Don't go make me too poor today
Oh, oh, sick ol' loose bad beater
Against you, losing finds a way

There's no two cards that you'll lay down
You're the worst one in town
Losing big pots to all but me
You know it's my chips that you're passing around
And I'm raisin' kings with hesitation
You know it's not too hard to see
That you'll crack my strong pre-flop hand with that
River ace when you're playing A-3

Sick ol' loose bad beater
With any ace you won't fold away
Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
Any raise and a call's OK

Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
Making my bankroll decay
Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
In those pots you just love to stay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Sick ol' loose bad beater
Calling with no thought or delay
Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
Your freak luck has sure made me pay

Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
I'm broke and going home
Oh, oh sick ol' loose bad beater
Against you it's a constant groan