Someone is berating my fish!

Yobz · #1 04-09-2005, 07:32 PM

I know these posts are frequent and sort of useless, but I found an awesome fish and I just logged on to find him playing (woohoo!). Anyway, sit down and some asswipe is saying
"XXX, you need to stop playing every hand" right after I see him getting rivered. Then hes like "I can't believe you raised with 6 high, you need to learn to play"

I quickly started berating the berater, but he just kept slapping upon the fish...what do I do?

GrekeHaus · #2 04-09-2005, 07:53 PM

Tell him to STFU until he learns to stop playing like a retard himself. (and make sure to defend the beratee's right to play his cards however he wants)

fluxrad · #3 04-09-2005, 07:56 PM

There's nothing you can do.

If you join in then people are going to start to think, "Hey..this table is full of sharks, I should find safer waters."

If you must say something, just make it something dumb like, "Any two can win."

Ianco15 · #4 04-09-2005, 07:58 PM

I try to console the fish by telling him that the berater is a jackass and doesn't know what hes saying. Sometimes I use phony logic to try to convince people that the fish plays well. It's fun to argue points you know are wrong. Sometimes you can actually get people to agree with you, which is too funny.

Ship__It.

Uglyowl · #5 04-09-2005, 08:00 PM

I just get on the berater a little bit telling he is just a sore loser.

brazilio · #6 04-09-2005, 08:01 PM

Please don't bother berating me, but should you be berating the berator, or berating the berater?

Yobz · #7 04-09-2005, 08:12 PM

ass: you are amazing (fish's name)!
ass: wow dude, relax with the big hands (fish's name)!
ass: i mean 2,3 preflop, that's a monster
Me: calm down, any 2 can win
ass: oh my god, (fish's name) called!
ass: any two can win Me?
Me: yep
ass: i didn't know that...thanks for the insight poker pro!!!
fish: if you don't play you can't win
Me: exactly
Me: just cause hes beating you, you shouldnt get upset
Me: we're here to have fun
ass: i'm not upset...in case you didn't notice moron i was complimenting him on his play!
ass: so shut the fck up and mind your own business!!!!

LinusKS · #8 04-09-2005, 08:15 PM

Table coaches have no place in this universe, and should never be tolerated.

There's tons of stuff you can say. "Any two can win," "You have to play to win," and, after the the fish wins a hand, "Looks like he's doing pretty good to me."

Since the coaches almost always berate the fish after he WINS a hand the last one is most effective.

I also like, "You can always spot the poker genius at the table, because he's telling everyone else how to play."

PS It's not telling people how to play that's obnoxious, it's berating people at the table. Which leads to another one (after the coach starts whining about something), "Hey, we're here to have fun, aren't we? If you're not having fun, maybe you should leave."

Yobz · #9 04-09-2005, 08:21 PM

What more annoying about this one is he is pulling up the HH and telling people what the fish had if he mucked...

SackUp · #10 04-09-2005, 08:22 PM

Compliment the fish for his ability to gambool. And build up the fish as much as you can. Then talk [censored] to the berator about how you are going to spend his money. There have been lots of threads on this before. Do a search for fish in teh subject line or something from about 2 months ago.