Poker and Life

[WichitaDM]

Im sure there have been a million posts like this, but i almost cant take it anymore and was hoping some similar people on here can give me some advice etc. When i tell you my life story most of you will probably say stfu, you have it good and i do, but i still am having a hard time not wallowing in the conflict within me.

As a background, im 24, and have been a pro poker player for about 3 years. I got a bachelors degree in finance 2 years ago, and have now been dabbling in a masters program in econ part time just to mainly make it feel like i am "doing something with my life". Basically my parents, a few of my friends and one whole side of my family has a hard time accepting what i do even thought i make a six figure income which is more than most of them. They constantly are trying to talk me into getting a regular job, etc. I have a gf who is ok with it, that i have been dating for over a year. She is concerned what potential impact my proffession would have on a child if we were to get married. I have been smart with my money, buying a modest house and saving most of it, however many of my critics perceive me to have a gambling problem and be lazy. Ive been thinking a lot lately about walking away from poker to get a real job, mainly just so that the people around me will be more comfy with me. Additionally i hate the feeling that im not meeting peoples expectations of my life, especially when it comes to my parents.

Basically im stuck. Im stuck because going from 150-200k a year to 30-40k a year is a huge difference. Im stuck bc i dont want to go work behind a desk or wake up at 630 every morning. To many extents i like what i do, poker interests me in a way that nothing else really ever has, however i constantly feel guily and worry that i am "making nothing of my life". Anyways im not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, i just was hoping some of you would have some experience dealing with this or advice on how to progress from here. Thanks in advance,

DM

[sweetjazz]

Have you considered grinding away for a few more years and saving away several hundred K and possibly starting your own business or becoming an investor?

Those are more respectable professions, but more likely to be to your liking.

[WichitaDM]

One big idea i have had is investing in real estate most likely rental type properties with cashflow, and as time goes by transitioning slowly away from poker into that. I figured the first step to that was buying a house for myself, soon i will be able to look into buying real estate that is more of an investment.

[sweetjazz]

Keep in mind that many people believe we are at the end of a housing bubble. Do your research before you make your investments.

Good luck with whatever you do.

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Basically im stuck. Im stuck because going from 150-200k a year to 30-40k a year is a huge difference.

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What about getting a job where you don't have to work that many hours? It would be a good break from playing Poker full time and you wouldn't have to give up your insane (150k-200k) poker profitability.

[AceofSpades]

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Basically im stuck. Im stuck because going from 150-200k a year to 30-40k a year is a huge difference.

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I'd like to have this problem. Just curious, what stakes/games are you playing now and how did you arrive at this point? Your parents/family/girlfriend are probably more concerned about the possibility of you not making steady income, or the possiblity of you losing it all on a downswing. With that kind of money, if you save aggressively enough for a little while, you probably could easily invest enough to give you a pretty much safe income for life. Once you do that, then you are pretty much free to continue doing poker, but you don't have to do it to pay the bills, you'd have the opportinity to pursue other interests (like a fulfilling job/travel/hobbies/volunteer since you won't have the pressure of having to make money. When you get to the point of having 40k or so, steady income coming in, I think that would reassure your parents.

Is the reason you don't feel like you am "doing something with your life" because you are home most of the time playing online and not really doing much else? Or just because your career is not a typical one? I would say that a lot of people find meaning/enjoying social interaction from a career. If that is something you want/are not getting from poker, then having enough passive income coming to cover all expenses in would totally free you up to find meaningful things to do with your time. Retired people do it, but it does take a little adjustment or so I have heard.

Joseph

[onegymrat]

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One big idea i have had is investing in real estate most likely rental type properties with cashflow, and as time goes by transitioning slowly away from poker into that. I figured the first step to that was buying a house for myself, soon i will be able to look into buying real estate that is more of an investment.

[/ QUOTE ]This is a wonderful idea. Make your money work for you. Of course you will have to do your homework and invest wisely. Start with one property and rent it out, and then keep expanding. The postive cash flow you have working for you will make your life less dependent on poker, while the money coming in will sure be easier than flopping sets. Good luck.

[Eaglesfan1]

One thing I've learned is you've got to live your life for YOURSELF. You can't go around life trying to do things for your parents and/or anyone. Always trying to accomplish things in your life for other people does NOT lead to happiness. You have to live your life and do what makes you happy. It was explained to me in a much better way than I am explaining to you, but I can't find the words.

I'd suggest you sit down with these people and have a long serious talk with them. Let them know this is what YOU want to do and its what makes YOU happy. Its your life- DO NOT let it be controlled by other people.

Not to sound trite, but I had a similar experience when I was your age(not that I'm significantly older now). My experience was somewhat at the other end of the fiscal spectrum though. I used to do a lot of whitewater kayaking and at one time had a sponsorship from a kayak manufacturer(read- I was allowed to buy kayaks at cost). I loved the sport, the challenge of it, and loved being outdoors, getting to places most people never get to. For several years straight, I spent over 150 days/yr on rivers and creeks all over the US. I also did a lot of rock climbing.

The trouble is, to do that, I was living in the back of a pick up truck over 3/4's of the year. As much as I loved it, I always felt like I should be doing something more...like I should have a real job and a real home and be a contributing member of society. A lot of times I felt that I was getting that pressure from other people. However, I came to realize that the majority of that pressure was what *I thought* people expected of me(and maybe what I expected of myself) and not what people really expected of me. It wasn't until I sat there showing my dad some video of a trip I had done that it hit me...he looked at me and said, "I'm really envious of what you are doing." That made me realize that although what I was doing wasn't traditional, it was worthwhile and even respected by some.

I could go on(and on), but I just want to say a few quick things. First off, follow YOUR dreams. Don't let others lay their expectations and anxieties on you. If you were forced to give up something for someone, you would resent them forever. Don't give up if you really want this. IF you're doing the right things and making money at this, smile at the critics, say " thanks for your opinion," and move on. I'm always a big advocate of books...maybe reading some biographies on people that stepped out from the normal and did great things would help.

Oh yeah, when I felt like I needed to contribute to society, I decide to do some volunteer work. Good way to get out, meet different people and give back.

[Mike]

Very good advice!

Nothing worse than to wake up an old man and say, I wish I would have....

If the finances are there, let yourself dream, just make sure it is a dream and do not let it become a nightmare.