favourite movie rants

[Jaskohouston]

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This thread = [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].

Why shouldn't I work for the NSA? That's a tough one. But I'll take a shot. Say I'm workin' at the NSA and somebody puts a code on my desk, somethin' no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it and I'm real happy with myself cause I did my job well, but maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East and once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hiding, fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with get killed.

Now the politicains are sayin' "Oh send in the marines to secure the area, cause they don't give a [censored], won't be their kid over there gettin' shot just like it wasn't them when their number got called cause they were all pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southy over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at, got exploited to the country he just got back from, and the guy that put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job cause he'll work for 15 cents a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile, he realises the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price, and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon. Their takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course maybe they even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martini's and [censored]' play slolum with the icebergs. It ain't to long til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic... so now my buddy's out of work, he can't afford to drive, so he's walkin' to the [censored]' job interviews which sucks cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him cronic hemroids and meanwhile, he's starvin' cause everytime he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special their serving is North Atlantic squad with Quaker State....

So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure [censored] it, while Im at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe, and join the National Guard. I could be elected President.

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I was copying and pasting this thread as I noticed yours pop up. Damnit.

I had a buddy in college spend an entire semester memorizing this.

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and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.

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$2.50 a gallon. LOL. Back in '97, I'm sure this was preposterous!

EDIT: The word is "ancillary", no? What is "antilary"?

[modaddy]

I think you're all [censored] in the head! We're 10 hours from the [censored]' fun park and you want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much [censored]' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling "Zippity Do-da" out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrammage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy [censored]!

[CrazyEyez]

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and ofcourse the oil companies use a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little antilary benefit for them, but it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.

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$2.50 a gallon. LOL. Back in '97, I'm sure this was preposterous!

EDIT: The word is "ancillary", no? What is "antilary"?

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Since we're picking nits, I thought it was North Atlantic "scrod," not "squad."

Sweet rant, though.

[Buckmulligan]

Jerry Maguire

Don't worry... don't worry. I'm not gonna do... what you all think i'm gonna do, which is just flip out!! But let me just say, as I ease out of the office, that i helped build... I'm sorry, but it is a fact... that there is such a thing... as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners. These fish have manners. In fact, they're coming with me. I'm starting a new company, and the fish are coming with me. You can call me sentimental, but the fish are coming with me.
(he takes a long beat scooping two goldfish into a plastic baggie)
Now. If you come with me, this will be the moment of something new, and fun, and inspiring in this GOD FORSAKEN business. And we will do it together. So... who's coming with me? who's coming with me and (he points at the baggie, thinks) flipper, here? Huh? (he makes little finger gestures) Who's coming with me? WHO'S COMING WITH ME?

[MrFeelNothin]

Crash Davis: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pause]
Crash Davis: Goodnight.

-Bull Durham.....along with The Untouchables, one of the two good movies Kevin Costner has ever starred in.

[Toro]

I'm really enjoying this thread but have to ask. Where do you guys find the verbatim dialogues?

[MrFeelNothin]

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I'm really enjoying this thread but have to ask. Where do you guys find the verbatim dialogues?

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IMDB.com-->main page of desired movie--->scroll down left hand side-->memorable quotes--->world peace.

Ricky Slade: We need guns.

Bobby: We don't need guns.

Ricky Slade: I'm telling you man, i'm pretty sure we need guns.

Bobby: I listened to them and they specifically said we don't need guns.

Ricky Slade: That's all the more reason why you do need a gun.

Bobby: You couldn't even get a gun.
Ricky Slade: You wanna bet, you wanna bet me if i could get a gun?

Bobby: You couldn't get a handjob from the bridge and tunnel posse.

Ricky Slade: That's because that [censored]' girl had issues with the bathtub and the other thing. Now float me a hundred bucks.

Bobby: For what?

Ricky Slade: You wanna see how fast I can get a gun?

Bobby: What happened to your money?

Ricky Slade: I have it, i have some stuff left.

Bobby: How much?

Ricky Slade: I've got like 80.

Bobby: $80!

Ricky Slade: 80 plus five, I've got five in the room, $85.

Bobby: $85, what happened to the 1500?

Ricky Slade: Well you could have picked up a [censored]' tab once in a while!

Bobby: I picked up half the [censored]' tab!

Another classic from that movie...


Ricky Slade: I don't know why we don't get a drink, sittin' inside this place.

Bobby: Chloe wanted to come here.

Ricky Slade: She doesn't know where the hell she is, Bob. She'd have more fun if we were at Bordner's. She could play the trivia game that she likes or the little racing game thing she does .

Bobby: She's a little girl, little girls don't like going to bars.

Ricky Slade: We had fun. We went to bars when we were kids. Met all the different people. Right? When we met Slimmy.

Chloe: Isn't it fun?

Ricky Slade: What's that, sweetie?

Chloe: Isn't it fun?

Ricky Slade: What's that?

Chloe: Isn't it fun?

Ricky Slade: What fun?

Chloe: Isn't it fun to paint?

Ricky Slade: To paint? Yeah, I love it! Really calms me down. Frogs aren't purple by the way. Have you ever seen a purple frog?

Chloe: Yes.

Ricky Slade: Yeah. Okay, when? When you were asleep?

Female Salesperson: Excuse me sir, there's no smoking in here.

Ricky Slade: Why, you serving food?

Salesperson: No, it's store policy. And you can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic.

Ricky Slade: You believe this [censored]. I can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don't you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?

[after a pottery clerk throws an ashtray on his table]

Ricky Slade: There's a nice way to do that!

Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball. Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. There's no CRYING IN BASEBALL. NO CRYING!