running a household

[tdarko]

i don't expect anything though i am sure we will both be working, where that is i am not for sure.

one thing i do know is that i won't be a stay at home dad b/c that is my choice, as for my wife that is her choice not mine. if she wants to work fine, if she wants to stay at home and take care of the kids then thats fine too.

[gorie]

it seems it's barely an option financially for there to even be a stay at home parent for most people.

also i think a lot of people don't like the idea of being the one 'hard at work' while their husband/wife 'gets to stay at home' and it can cause resentment.

i'm sure when the time comes i will end up in a 'both working' situation, but that is also kind of scary to me.

for all the 'both working' scenarios - are you working opposite shifts ? or are you paying for child care ?

[tdarko]

both my parents worked and its really not that difficult, before i started school i had my grandmother around. when i started school, i would go over to friends' houses and their mother would take care of us. these are friends that i am still close with today and consider my brother.

[gorie]

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both my parents worked and its really not that difficult, before i started school i had my grandmother around. when i started school, i would go over to friends' houses and their mother would take care of us. these are friends that i am still close with today and consider my brother.

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yeah that doesn't sound too bad, it's cool you had your grandma and friends mom around.

i feel lucky because my mom stayed at home to raise us. i really hate the idea of paying someone else to watch my kids, or working opposite shifts just to make things work.

a coworker of mine is about to enter into the situaton of working opposite shifts full time, i can't imagine how much that would suck.

[mason55]

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both my parents worked and its really not that difficult, before i started school i had my grandmother around. when i started school, i would go over to friends' houses and their mother would take care of us. these are friends that i am still close with today and consider my brother.

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yeah that doesn't sound too bad, it's cool you had your grandma and friends mom around.

i feel lucky because my mom stayed at home to raise us. i really hate the idea of paying someone else to watch my kids, or working opposite shifts just to make things work.

a coworker of mine is about to enter into the situaton of working opposite shifts full time, i can't imagine how much that would suck.

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my mom was a teacher. that was a perfect situation because she had pretty much the same hours as me.

[nails]

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a coworker of mine is about to enter into the situaton of working opposite shifts full time, i can't imagine how much that would suck.

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Friends of mine have been doing the same thing, and they're always tired and never see each other. The husband would like to quit his job (which he hates) and hang out with the kids full time, but the wife has some financial paranoia and insists they both have to be earning some dough (even though they are already quite comfortable financially).

I work from home (not p*ker) and we still send the kid to daycare. Kids demand too much attention for you to get any work done at the same time.

[rohjoh]

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also i think a lot of people don't like the idea of being the one 'hard at work' while their husband/wife 'gets to stay at home' and it can cause resentment.


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Staying home with kids is 'hard work', and resentment can go both ways. You obviously do not have kids, most women that do would argue that it is more work than going to an office. You need to remember that a stay at home mom works 24/7.

I have been in every situation. When we first had kids, we both worked. I worked from home for a number of years, and now my wife stays home, and I work. I would not trade with my wife, and most men would not. When she does leave me at home for a day or a weekend, she usually returns to find me curled up in a ball, begging to go back to work. Not really, but it is hard work.

[gorie]

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also i think a lot of people don't like the idea of being the one 'hard at work' while their husband/wife 'gets to stay at home' and it can cause resentment.


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Staying home with kids is 'hard work', and resentment can go both ways. You obviously do not have kids, most women that do would argue that it is more work than going to an office. You need to remember that a stay at home mom works 24/7.

I have been in every situation. When we first had kids, we both worked. I worked from home for a number of years, and now my wife stays home, and I work. I would not trade with my wife, and most men would not. When she does leave me at home for a day or a weekend, she usually returns to find me curled up in a ball, begging to go back to work. Not really, but it is hard work.

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oh i know, i agree with you. that is why i put 'gets to stay at home' in quotes and worded it the way i did. i was just throwing that out for discussion. i think it is common feeling from the provider to not understand (just watch supernanny!) and maybe why a lot of people might expect both to work (other than financial needs).

[gorie]

although the more i think about i am pretty sure i would still want a part time job or something. i think i'd go crazy since it's my only interaction with other people.

[rohjoh]

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although the more i think about i am pretty sure i would still want a part time job or something. i think i'd go crazy since it's my only interaction with other people.

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My wife has a nanny two days a week, otherwise, she might go crazy.