Can guys and girls be just friends?

[RydenStoompala]

Yes, men can have women as friends. I have good friends who happen to be female. I just have to endure the inevitable overpowering urge to want to play with their boobs every five minutes. And then there is that nagging urge to boink them every hour or so, but I hear this lessens with age. I hope so. So much pain....

[AlanBostick]

[ QUOTE ]
Aha see sex is involved. The lust is still there.

Just can't have a friend-friend relationship with the opposite sex without that "sex" word popping up in someone's mind.

[/ QUOTE ]

And your point is ...?

The fact that "sex" keeps popping up in someone's mind doesn't stop them from being friends with me, or me with them.

[AlphaWice]

"Ladder theory" is bogus and unscientific. Please stop mentioning this. It falls in the same category as believing that a refridgerator created the universe.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Yes.

But only if they're not even the slightest bit sexually attracted to each other.

[/ QUOTE ]


Nope, it's way more true if one finds the other a little attractive but doesn't wish to act on it (and it's not a 'crush' type thing), and the other either feels the same or just likes the first one. I believe this still qualifies as friendship myself.

Simple answer: No there is always attraction

Do an internet search on "The ladder theory"

Basically Men have 1 ladder where women are rated on attraction toward them

Women have 2 ladders one for friends and one for guys they are attracted too. A ladder jump is almost impossible and most who try fall into the pit below
those at the top of the friends ladder who jump ladders and make it catch the bottom of the ladder and will almost never be the priority guy in the womans life.

Its a really well thought out theory and can answer every question you have

[Pog0]

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Its a really well thought out theory and can answer every question you have

[/ QUOTE ]

Not exactly.

And besides, ladder jumps aren't as hard as you think. I've jumped... in the wrong direction... !#@$#!@

[Tablerat]

Some personal observations:

As children, boys and girls maintain their distance from each other, and generally do not associate much. They have few common interests, and will either not want to associate in the first place or soon tire of the other’s company. Upon puberty, when the testosterone and estrogen start to kick in for the boys and girls, respectively, sexual desire and motivation begin to gradually bridge the gap in association between the sexes for reproduction (and sexual fulfillment) to occur. That sexual desire caused by the physiological reactions starting at puberty is the main reason that adolescent boys and girls begin to date and form various relationships within different societal and cultural constructs. Were it not for the sudden flood of hormones rushing through the teenagers’ bodies, the sex separation from childhood would be maintained – why would they want, or more importantly, need to associate with one another on a long term basis?

A corollary to this is that young homosexual males will often have females as their main group of friends and vice versa – their lack of association with other males or females (to whom they are becoming sexually attracted) is prolonged into late adolescence/adulthood because it is a societal taboo.

Male and female friendships are simply repressed sexual desires from one or both sides. Often, one side will not reciprocate the other’s sexual desire, but for a variety of reasons, the “rejected” friend maintains his or her ground in the “friendship”, hoping that the other will finally relent or reach some epiphany about how their relationship really should develop.

If you find yourself in a serious “friendship” with the opposite sex, one side is most likely silently yearning for romantic/intimate relations, thus negating a real friendship in its strict definition (as others have mentioned much more concisely in this thread). So, in most cases, no, men and women cannot be friends.

[Tilt]

Well, I used to think the answer was yes. Then I ended up marrying my best friend. Oh well.

[MyTurn2Raise]

I say yes, but only because I keep female friends for their potential to help me land other females.

[Songwind]

[ QUOTE ]
You've taken a lot of heat for that statement, but there is some truth behind it.

Saw this on a documentary on discovery.
The reason why some men struggle to be faithful is our instincts. Men have an urge to better the chance of having offspring by inpregnating as many women we can.

Of course, human beings developed the abilty to ingore instincts and chose logic and morals to guide our actions.

[/ QUOTE ]

My gf was an anthropologist before stumbling into IT (long story) and this topic has come up more than once. People who use this as evidence that "men can't help it" and "women don't have the same problems" overlook the female part of this drive. The same drive for preservation of the species that urges men to impregnate as many mates as possible also urges women to be pregnant whenever possible. The female component of this drive is also indiscriminate with regards to fidelity and morality.