Dear bison: the May advice thread.

[bisonbison]

A couple weeks ago I made a thread to try to save you from yourselves. Advice was distributed, I shat on some people, lives were changed and souls saved. Nonetheless, it has come to my attention that some people still help need. Plus, I'm running a fever, so I'm bored out of my hot hot throbbing skull, which is why this May advice thread is getting off the ground on April 30th.

So the premise remains the same: many of y'all are broken cymbal monkeys, thrown in the trash behind the carny booth of life, and I'm here to patch you up, and help you get back on that big old prize shelf we call happiness.

If you post an interesting and/or sincere question in this thread, I will respond with life-altering clarity, compassion and concision. It's the least I can do.