Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[Riverman]

Inspired by the sad news at the borgata thread...

Junior year of college there was this kid that always wanted to go to AC with us, so one time we brought him. Total alcoholic and one of the worst card players ever. He starts out playing 3/6 but after about 10 makers marks he decided he needs to play 20/40 instead. He empties his ATM and sure enough goes on the rush of his life. But what was great was that every time he was on a draw he would announce his cards and inform the dealer that if his draw came he would tip half the pot. Each time he would stand up and yell "SPADE! COME ON DEALER! PUT A F*CKING SPADE UP THERE!" for example. Low and behold he hits a handfull of straights/flushes, keeping his word and tipping half the pot each time.

On one occasion, however, while trying to give $100 stacks of red to the dealer as a tip, he knocks over the chips and they spill in the rack and get mixed in with the fill. This is bad news and the game is delayed almost 30 minutes. During this time he goes to play craps (he has no idea what the rules are) Wins 2000 by hitting bulshit like hard 12, snake eyes, and other longshots, and promptly tips 1000 (half) upon leaving the table.

Kind of sad and amazing at the same time- and yes he did manage to lose every penny before we went home.

I know you guys have some good ones, post them here please.