Finding out you're a break even player

[lemonPeel]

Anyone out there like me who deep down believed himself to be a winning player at low-limit tourneys, sitngos and live low limit cash games find out that after 5 months of trying pretty damn hard to find out you just play well enough to keep your money?

Did you feel kind of depressed, or did u find relief that you don't lose any money?

As for me, I really am obsessed about poker. I think about it all day, I dream of it at night, I relive my worst beats and think about all the what if's that a few coin flips in a MTT would of become had I won those. Do I have a problem? I'm really getting to the point where I'm a little scared that my whole life is all about a card game that if I didn't play wouldn't matter because I neither win nor lose at it.

Anyways, what I'm getting at is for someone like me, believing that I was a winning player was a big part of my whole sense of self ever since I set aside a separate bank roll to play only poker, and after 5 months I haven't moved up or down even though I study, think about and play massive amounts of poker.