Fix this sentence

[shadow29]

I'm helping a friend write a cover letter for a marketing job in the golf industry. It's pretty much all done, but one of her sentences is bad, but I don't know why.

[ QUOTE ]
I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe it to have a great deal of promise for becoming one of the state's premier courses.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh and thanks:



edit- my friend is not one of these girls.

edit- rehosted

[M2d]

is she applying for a nekkid cart girl position?

you really don't want me correcting grammer. things will get ugly.

[jackdaniels]

The recent opening of xxx is very exciting in that it shows a great deal of promise in becoming one of the state's premier golf courses.

[shadow29]

[ QUOTE ]
is she applying for a nekkid cart girl position?

[/ QUOTE ]

I wish they had those. That would rock.

I just figured that I would make this thread a bit less useless to the general oot population.

[Cancer Merchant]

[ QUOTE ]
I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe it will become one of the state's premier courses.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe this course has the potential to be a premier golf destination.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Eurotrash]

are people so lazy that they can't take 10 seconds to rehost the image?

[Hal 2000]

[ QUOTE ]
I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening, and believe this course has the potential to be a premier golf destination.

[/ QUOTE ]

[TheWorstPlayer]

I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening as I believe it to be one of the state's premier courses.

Don't be an ass. No one wants to hear that some little [censored] thinks their course 'has promise'. Tell them it's good.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
are people so lazy that they can't take 10 seconds to rehost the image?

[/ QUOTE ]

yes

[Hal 2000]

btw, is xxx the place to which this friend is applying? If so, I wouldn't recommmend telling them how great their course is. They already know....