Do we buy him an ass wiper? (seriously)

[miajag81]

The centaur thing is from an SNL sketch with Christopher Walken and Chris Parnell a few years ago.

is this guy foreign? i've noticed that alot of countries don't seem to have discovered the art of ass wiping.

[Isura]

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Show him this thread.

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Or even show him the thread from a few months ago about being a back-side ass wiper or a front-side nut sack lifting wiper and ask him which one he is?

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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People wipe from the back? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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Apparently, womem are supposed to.. Something to do with infection but I don't know the details.

[RunDownHouse]

You could just get him one of these and leave it wrapped up in front of his door:

[pokerdirty]

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You could just get him one of these and leave it wrapped up in front of his door:


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OOOOOOH, that looks like FUN!

[HopeydaFish]

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We had a guy at work like this. He reaked of [censored] all the time. I was convinced that it was because he had huge biceps, a large gut, and fairly short arms. It seemed like it would be near impossible for him to reach his ass with the way his body was constructed.

He smelled like when you're driving out in the country and you go buy a farm that is spreading pig manure.

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How often do you buy pig manure spreading farms?

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Sigh. I really need to hire a proof-reader.

[B Dids]

This is about how fat I am, and I can wipe my ass just fine. This kid doesn't need special equpipment, he needs to not be [censored] gross.

[Chairman Wood]

Is such an ass wiper even available for purchase?

[jason_t]

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Boss: Do you dump wherever you're standing, or do you use toilets? Or, do you use some magical Centaur toilet?

Centaur: We use regular bathrooms.

Boss: Do you use special Centaur toilet paper?

Centaur: Nope. We use nortmal toilet paper.

Boss: How do you reach back there.. to wipe yourself?

Centaur: Uh.. there is a device we use, it's called an Aubesian - it's a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth.

Boss: So.. there's a company that manufactures Centaur asswipers?

Centaur: Aubesians, yes. Um.. there's a store that's a sort of crate-and-barrel for Centaurs, called Aubesians & Such.. there's one on 57th Street.

Boss: I've seen that establishment.

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What is the centaur thing from, because I find it pleasing.

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It's from an SNL sketch featuring Christopher Walken.

Buy or rent the Best of SNL: feautring Christopher Walken. You won't regret it.

[CallMeIshmael]

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Boss: Do you dump wherever you're standing, or do you use toilets? Or, do you use some magical Centaur toilet?

Centaur: We use regular bathrooms.

Boss: Do you use special Centaur toilet paper?

Centaur: Nope. We use nortmal toilet paper.

Boss: How do you reach back there.. to wipe yourself?

Centaur: Uh.. there is a device we use, it's called an Aubesian - it's a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth.

Boss: So.. there's a company that manufactures Centaur asswipers?

Centaur: Aubesians, yes. Um.. there's a store that's a sort of crate-and-barrel for Centaurs, called Aubesians & Such.. there's one on 57th Street.

Boss: I've seen that establishment.

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When I started googling things to see if these existed such a product, the first word I searched for was aubesian, on the off chance the skit was based on a real product [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]