Maldini's Vegas Trip Report part III

[maldini]

Tuesday (I think)

I wake up about 1pm Tuesday serious about making some money today. Everything I’m going to try to do today should be geared to getting back on a winning track. I don’t have anyone to call to read my email to me, so I check my blinking voicemail instead. There’s a message from “Mary” on the phone. She’s a friend of mine that happens to be in Vegas the same week. She’s a hard chic to describe and this is a difficult relationship to explain, but I’ll try. She’s one part Mrs. Cleaver and one part Mrs. Robinson. I’m one part Wally, one part Benjamin. I haven’t known her long but suspect that she’d rather be 4 parts Robinson and one part Cleaver. I’m fighting to invert that ratio. She rents a room from me each month at a discount but comes in to Austin only a handful of weeks a year. While we’re at it, if you want an insight into my friend “John”, think Eddie Haskell. It’s a very close approximation. Mary wants to take us (me) to lunch, dinner, drinks, whatever she can get. Her husband is attending a convention and she has 2 days in Vegas with absolutely nothing to do. She is staying at the Monte Carlo and I would really like to check out the lazy river at some point.

The three of us agree go to lunch at the MGM buffet. It certainly isn’t mentioned among the elite buffets, but it is convenient to all and I’d like to stay close to the poker rooms I intend to play today. The buffet turns out to be pretty average. The selection was decent. Many dishes were mislabeled. It is certainly adequate for lunch but I wouldn’t make a special trip there in the future. After lunch, John goes back to bed. I think 2 nights of heavy drinking has taken its toll. I can’t blame him. I felt like a typical Sunday afternoon, a little ragged but up for some fun. It was too cold and windy for the lazy river so I head to Excalibur. I decide that this is where I’m going to make my stand.

I sit in on the Hold ‘Em lessons table because I have no pride. A $1-$3 spread limit game is supposed to take place after like ½ hour of lessons. I’m hoping to pick up $50 or $100 while I warm up and get some confidence back. I quickly discover that this is an untenable plan. The bets don’t double on the turn and river. I’m not sure that the best limit player on the planet can make much at this game, even against these opponents. I put my name down for the NL game and wander the casino. The bad thing about the $1/$3 game is that you pick up several ½ dollars. You can’t bet them anywhere at the casino. I’ve got a pocketful of dollar and ½ dollar coins. This brings me to a point of interest. When you go to buy monorail tickets, bring a few dollar bills with you. I needed $4 for 2 trips on the monorail the night before. All I had were $20s and $100s. The machines pay you change in $1 coins. Getting my change sounded like I hit at a slot machine. I don’t know if you’ve ever carried 16 one-dollar coins in your pants pocket, but let me tell you, it sucks. I cash them in with my ½ dollars and get $25 in reds. I stop buy the roulette wheel. I don’t know why. I can’t win a race to save my life. I’m convinced that I win about 40% of my races. I’m certain that I’m in the 25%-35% range of big, meaningful coin flip situations in poker. Why will this be any different? Red or Black? I go black because it’s closer to me. That seems to fit my life creed: Nothing that you have to work hard for in life is worthwhile. I don’t know why my grandmother refuses to stencil that on a pillow for me. Working hard has always kind of seemed like cheating to me. I put down $10 on black. Lose. I put $15 on black. Lose. Hmm. I put $100 on black. Lose. Now I’m pissed. I’m questioning my life creed. As I chip up $300, all black, I have visions of myself sitting here chasing my loses with $200-$300 bets, losing my bankroll and having to play nickel slots for the next 2 days. I wonder which casino pays best at nickel slots? This is a $50 max bet table but the pit boss nods approvingly. He knows a junky when he sees one. There is a 5 at my table. I ask her to rub my black chip for me as I try to go 0-4 at red/black. I’ve been real lucky with 5s in my lifetime. 5s are definitely lucky for me. I briefly consider going with red on this one. Maybe someone is trying to tell me something. Maybe if I go red and win, I go back home, work hard, get a hot 20 year old with big tatas and live happily ever after? Nope. Not worth it. If I go red and it comes black, I’m pretty sure I get a hooker and some crack and ask for the Stu Unger Suite. I go with black. No guarantee that 20 year old with big boobs isn’t going to cut off my penis and throw it out the car window at some point anyway. Black Hits!! Wow. Amazing. Fortunately, I’m sober enough and wise enough to realize that this is my one window to freedom. If I stay and lose 2 more in a row I could easily settle in and gamble the whole bankroll. If I stay and win 2 more in a row, I could easily settle in and gamble the whole bankroll. I walk away, leaving my new degenerate roulette friends and rejoining my new degenerate poker friends.

My seat hasn’t been called but the lessons should be wrapping up soon. I go sit down with them. A real game starts after about 5 minutes. It’s excruciatingly slow. I try to remember not to riffle my chips, and throw out bets like I know what’s up. These guys truly do not know how to play. I start to feel sorta bad. Clearly there is another real player at the table too so I feel somewhat better. After about 20 minutes I’m down like $30. I feel bad in a different way than before. Man, maybe I really suck at poker. After about another 20 minutes my name gets called for the NL game. I’ve won several hands recently; I count my chips. I’m down $2. Can I leave this game stuck? What will it do to my ego? Hell, I’ve had 3 cups of coffee so I justify it that way, say my goodbyes and chip up for the NL game.

Frankly, I remember nothing about this NL session. I recall sitting down and recognizing several players. I recall feeling confident about my chances. Also, I can recall that they were serving a free Chinese buffet for the players. Several players had favorable comments about it. This seems to be a normal occurrence around dinner time. Also, this was my first experience with the young, Oakley wearing, ball cap backwards, poker faced, college kid that I hear so much about. He looked like a chump and he played like a chump. He was pretty much exactly average at this table. An average player at Excalibur is not real threatening. I cash out about 4 hours later up $100 and return to the room for a break and to watch the end of the Main Event.

Back at the room, John is lying in bed watching the ME. He’s really hung over. I think he plans to recharge tonite and sprint to the finish the last 2 days. We share a tasty $30 large pizza from room service and an $11 movie. Wedding Crashers turns out to be one of the best comedies I’ve seen in a while. It may be in the top 3 comedies I’ve seen in the last 5 years. For my money, only Anchorman and The Aristocrats were as good.

After the movie I head back to the tables. It’s 1 am and there is only one NL game going. It’s 7 handed when I sit down. In the 5 seat there is a maniac Asian running over the table. He has a mound of chips that he refuses to stack. Hard to get a count but I suspect he’s got about $600-$700. He is one of those loud, unintelligible types. He’s betting and raising everything and no one seems to have an answer. The first hand I play I reraise him with AQ and position. He folds and takes notice. The very next hand, the Asian makes a small raise pf and I call from the button with Kc7c. The bb calls also. He’s getting odds to call with a lot of hands. Not sure if he knows that though. The flop comes up with a K and 2 clubs and 3 of us in the pot. The bb checks as does the Asian. I elect to check. Maybe I can get the Asian to try to pick up the pot later or bluff if the flush hits. Also, if I bet, he could put a move on me with a checkraise and put me in a tough spot. The turn is a rather innocuous looking red 5. The bb leads out the Asian folds. Hmm. He’s got a King with a kicker he’s not crazy about or 2nd or 3rd button? I raise, bb calls. River is a club. Bb bets, I put him all in. He calls with K5 for 2 pair. Fun hand. I can’t believe I actually hit a draw. It’s amazing how the table changes at this point. After taking 2 early pots, I start getting a stupid amount of respect. The Asian slows down considerably and I pick up several pots over the next hour with absolutely nothing. Funny how people view you differently if you win or lose your first hand. The table goes to 5 handed and I decide to leave too. I’m up and not interested in the variance implicit with 5 handed play. I am really looking for people to give me money. I’m trying to avoid having to gamble at all. I suspect the Asian is favored here anyway. I bail and go over to MGM, +$125.

There is one 8 handed $1/$2 NL game going at MGM. I sit down and quickly determine that I am at best the 4th best player. A case could be made for 5th best. Not enough data at the moment. Another guy sits down to my left a few minutes later. A case for 6th best could be made. Realistically, there are 2 clearly tough players. One of the others has a stack of about $1200 in front. He’s played here a lot and is comfortable playing with a big stack. He’s playing big stack poker so I’m giving him respect too. He will be referred to as Chub. I start out conservatively, hoping to get credit when I’m forced to bluff. I assume I’m going to have to bluff because I just haven’t hit anything yet this week. I haven’t even seen that many draws I can semibluff. Nothing much happens until the 2 big stacks tangle. One flops a str8 with A-10 against trip Qs. $1000 pot. Ouch. One of the tough players is gone. I don’t feel to bad about this development, but don’t get much of a hand for a couple of hours, pay for a few flops and miss everything. Then an interesting hand develops: I get 9s in fairly late position. There is a limper or two to me and I raise. I’d like to get some position and maybe disguise my hand a little. I haven’t played much so I hoping for some respect. Chub calls me in the bb and one of the early limpers I’ll call Steve. Steve is not too bad but certainly one of the worst players at the table. The flop comes Q-7-8 rainbow. We all check. The turn is the Ac putting 2 clubs out there. Chub and Steve both check. I feel like I must be ahead here. Chub has been betting any draw and most hands where he catches a piece. Plus, there are so many draws out there, someone would have to protect their hand with something decent. I figure they may have to give me credit for the Ace, so I push for about $100 into the $70ish pot. I have a black 9 but I’m not sure if it’s a spade or a club. I really don’t think I can look, but I’m hoping I have outs if called. Chubs folds and Steve thinks. He says out loud that he has some good draws. I go from hoping for a fold to hoping for a call. He calls with KcJc for the nut flush and inside str8 draws. He also has 2 overs. I survive the river and he remarks that he was ahead and got unlucky. No Steve. You were in better shape than you must have thought. No way he knows that his K and J are clean. I stay for about another hour and give a lot of it back by missing every draw known to man before calling it quits. Go to bed +$250, -$100 for the trip with 2 days left. Well within striking difference of my target.

More to follow…

[icepick]

[ QUOTE ]
I sit in on the Hold ‘Em lessons table because I have no pride.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh sir.

[AcesUp2121]

[ QUOTE ]

The bad thing about the $1/$3 game is that you pick up several ½ dollars. You can’t bet them anywhere at the casino. I’ve got a pocketful of dollar and ½ dollar coins. The machines pay you change in $1 coins. Getting my change sounded like I hit at a slot machine. I don’t know if you’ve ever carried 16 one-dollar coins in your pants pocket, but let me tell you, it sucks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I laughed out loud at this.

[flatline]

I can't believe you tried to hustle the 1-3 beginner game. That is just some low-down shady [censored]. Not to mention a waste of time.

I'm enjoying the trip reports, though.

[NoRiverRats]

Best one yet....the cryptic "Mary" section was interesting. I think we need a hot or not decision on this one - so in the absence of pics we will take your word. Also, glad to hear about the skill level at MGM NL, thanks.

[Chobohoya]

Maldini

This was really entertaining, good work.


Hoping you get ahead for the trip,
chobohoya

Wow.

Disturbing, yet highly entertaining, This is like a mix between Hunter Thompson, Leaving Las Vegas, and Vegas Vacation.

[The Q]

Another Austinite here, I've really enjoyed the first three parts, keep 'em coming.

I'm hoping that the "cryptic Mary section" if foreshadowing for future events.

[jtr]

Great report, enjoying it, thanks. That bus driver clearly didn't know who he was [censored]ing with.

[undathesea]

As a matter of factly, I am enjoying these very much as well.
You should submit trip reports for everyone as most are dull
around here.

Keep up the fantastic work.