Dating someone bi-polar

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I dated a chick who was bipolar. All I can say is that if this girl is 1/10th as much of a lunatic as the girl I dated, you should run, far, faaaarrr away.

Things started out normal enough, but then she began getting super-paranoid and very accusatory. Her mood swings were unbelievable--one day she'd be all happy and outgoing, and the next she'd be depressed and miserable. In each case, it was to such an extreme that she practically had a completely different personality. Things that she liked in one mood she would absolutely hate in the other, and it was up to me to always figure out which person I was dealing with on a daily basis, lest I piss her off to no end.

It all seems tame when I describe now, but really it was pure insanity. The suicide threats and threats of violence one day, and then the person who couldn't so much as hurt a fly the next day. All with constant lies and denials and selfishness.

There were days when she was a normal person, and those days her "true" nature shined through (a very good person, I think), but much of the time it was nothing short of insanity. She had definitely learned to act "normal" in front of most people, but once you knew her well and she had to be around you more than on a passing basis, there was no hiding it.

At the very least, I'd recommend that your girl staying on medication be a prerequisite to your guys' continued dating. The few bipolar people I've known and the one girl I dated (and from what I hear, bipolar people in general) have a tendency to go on meds, feel somewhat better and then go off them thinking they don't need them any more. Dealing with a seriously bipolar person not on meds is like dealing with a pitbull with its nuts in a tourniquet--all you can do is stay out of the way and hope you don't get hurt.

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Almost exactly what I endured for two years. She accused me of cheating on her with every woman I knew (including the mother of one of my chess students.) Of course, she could hang out with any guy she wanted. She would switch moods on a dime - all happy and lovey-dovey, then BAM I'm stupid she's stupid the whole world is stupid I think I'll kill myself. Constant guilt trips. Sometimes I got scared because something would set her off and she'd start hitting herself on the head. Of course, she also had relationship issues...can't imagine why.

The hard part was she could shape up just enough to keep me interested...promises of change and whatever. Never happened - actually it got worse. Eventually I realized it was only worth it so I can appreciate sane girls.

EDIT:Just saw the raising kids part. I dated another girl who was clinically depressed, and one day we were talking about the woman who drowned her kids in the tub. She told me that she could see herself doing that. Scared the S@#$ out of me. Too bad, she's a pretty and otherwise fun girl...although we'd have to break plans a lot because she was having an episode.

ScottieK