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#21
10-26-2005, 05:11 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
Former Ukrainian PM Yulia Tymachenko (hot) goes to Vladimir Putin looking for economic assistance. Putin says he would be happy to help- provided Tymachenko performs oral on him.
"Sure" says Yulia. "Stand on this chair". "Why do I have to stand on that chair?" Putin asks. "Because Ukraine doesn't get on it's knees for anyone" Tymachenko replies. A Chukcha drives from Moscow to St. Petersburg in 7 hours. The return trip takes 28. When the Chukcha returned his buddy asked him, "What took you so long to get back, Bruiser"? The Chukcha replies, "There are four gears for going forward but only one for reverse". 
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#23
10-26-2005, 05:44 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Being offended by it, clearly. This needs no explanation. [/ QUOTE ] I was not being offended, i was pointing out Bruiser's retardation. [/ QUOTE ] Shut up dr. retard, it's not my fault you're too stupid too appreciate a good joke.
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#25
10-26-2005, 05:49 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Being offended by it, clearly. This needs no explanation. [/ QUOTE ] I was not being offended, i was pointing out Bruiser's retardation. [/ QUOTE ] Shut up dr. retard, it's not my fault you're too stupid too appreciate a good joke. [/ QUOTE ] O RLY?
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#26
10-26-2005, 06:05 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Being offended by it, clearly. This needs no explanation. [/ QUOTE ] I was not being offended, i was pointing out Bruiser's retardation. [/ QUOTE ] Shut up dr. retard, it's not my fault you're too stupid too appreciate a good joke. [/ QUOTE ] Bruiser: 1 - dr. retard: 0
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#27
10-26-2005, 06:19 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
Bunch of crybaby russians.
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#28
10-26-2005, 07:45 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
My favorite so far:
This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?” We’re answering: “At Lenin's time, Russia was still only ankle-high in [censored].” I found the site searching for this joke: A Polish tourist comes back home after visiting the USSR. He carries two very large and heavy suitcases. On his wrist is a new Soviet-made watch. He tells the customs man: "This is a new Soviet watch. It's a wonder unknown in the capitalist countries. You see, it shows time, the rate of your pulse beats, the phases of the Moon, the weather in Warsaw, Moscow, and New York, and more and more!" "Yes, it's a wonder," the customs man agrees. "And what is it you have in these big suitcases?" "Oh, it's just the batteries for the watch."
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#29
10-26-2005, 08:58 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
A Russian professor of mine told the class this story/joke on the first day:
I was walking down the street, when I saw an old woman jump out of a window and to her death in the street. She was followed by a second woman, and then a third woman. Then I continued walking becuase I was bored.
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#30
10-26-2005, 09:45 PM
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Re: Russians & Vodka
Since apparently few people have your incredibly honed sense of humor Bruiser, this one is for your eyes only.
This joke was told by Roman Jakobson, a pioneering structuralist, and imagine it told in a very heavily Russian-cum-Czech inflected English. What is purple and pink and hangs from the ceiling and goes beep? There is nobody who knows? Okay, I tell you. A sardine. And why is it purple and pink you might be wanting to ask? Why can I not paint my sardine any color that I wish? And why is it hanging in the middle of the room you are asking? Why can I not hang my sardine whereever I choose? And then you might be wanting to ask, why does it go beep? Ahhhh....that is to make the joke more difficult.
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