Unintentional Humor From the Archives: The Newbie Chronicles

[Dynasty]

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This is the most amazing post since Dynasty's Three Years in Vegas.

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By any chance do you have the link handy?

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Three Years in Las Vegas

[Army Eye]

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Why don't you just read his book, instead?


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I don't think I'll be reading it, but, I did look up its page on Amazon. The foundation of the book seems to be that studying tactics are the way for a weak player to improve. This is pretty much common knowledge, but, hey it's certainly better than his poker regimen.

[uuDevil]

For the impatient, here are a few highlights:

[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] Ouch:

....unless you are one of those bone-heads that automatically checks an obvious best one pair on the river. --Louie Landale

[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] Yeah, right:

Oh good, I was afraid I might be a bonehead --BruceZ

[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] The following quotes are not representative-- it's surprising how many earnest responses he got.

I have to admire your percistancy in ignoring advice from very reputable people. I guess there is some merrit in sticking to a plan, nomatter how [censored] it might be. --Rigolleto

Why is anyone still paying attention to this guy? --Vehn

I will be frank and say that you show a very disappointing lack of understanding of some basic
fundamentals and logic after six months of study. D-. --Ullyses

[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] Who would have guessed?

In person, Dynasty and Clarkmeister are just like they are on 2+2. Dynasty says little and is very blunt. Clarkmeister is more expansive. Both are friendly. --mdlm

[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] In-person instruction for these prices? Is this deal still available?

This past week I spent $10 buying Dynasty a steak. I have spent a total of $476.43 out of my $1000 budget. --mdlm

A $10 steak is called a hamburger.

Give me some credit for ordering a half-decent meal. It was a $19 steak dinner. That's nothing extraordinary but a $19 steak sounds about ten times better than a $10 steak. --Dynasty

Dentist asks if Dynasty and Clarkmeister are legends. Clarkmeister gave a very modest reply. Dynasty
is definitely a member of Sklansky's 500 Club (see Sklansky's essay "Pros Versus Wannabes" in the Essays
section on this site) or at least he was until he decided to hang out with Clarkmeister and play LL poker. Clarkmeister would be a member of the 500 Club if he took poker seriously. --mdlm

[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] Ed counts outs, and he's not happy:

IMO, folding in this situation is a horrible play....

Bottom line, mdlm, is that playing aggressively (here and in other situations) forces your opponents to make a hand or fold. Yes.. you are behind AT... but is AT really going to call you down when you raise preflop, raise the K-high flop, bet the turn, and bet the river? Because the answer is a resounding no for the large majority of opponents... are you really behind here? He will view himself as probably behind to a K... possibly AK... and be counting his outs. And he won't like them.

[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] The tragic ending:

And congratulations to everyone who has beaten poker. It sure is a tough thing to do.

Thanks to all and to all a good night!

--------------------
mdlm, The Newbie

[Subfallen]

un f'ing real

thx Dynasty

[Gunny Highway]

Thanks, Dynasty.

[Jerkass333]

I love that guy who posts anonomously in order to not give away his poker alias.

[pudley4]

I'm getting frustrated all over again... [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[BarronVangorToth]

I figure enough "thanks" have been thrown into this thread, but, whatever, thanks for spotlighting this hilarious (unintentional or otherwise) series of posts.

Hopefully more will do this in the future as I'm sure there are some gems from yesteryear many of us have missed.

Barron Vangor Toth
BarronVangorToth.com

[jedi]

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Finally, I’ve noticed that poor food has recently become much cheaper. Both McDonald’s and Burger King now have a dollar menu. I have tried McDonald’s Big ‘n Tasty, a hamburger which is neither big nor tasty but does cost only one dollar and it does have quite a few calories. The cheapest food I have found is Maruchan Noodles which, when purchased in packages of twelve, costs only eighteen cents per package.

Using these techniques just about everyone can drastically reduce their food costs. I look forward to your comments.

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Love this.

[jedi]

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I hope he doesn't use this approach on girls...

I can see it now......

After reading 5 books about women and trying to pickup on hot chicks in my "Sims" game, I have been successful, but since there's this one chick on the game that turned me down, I will no longer pursue women.... or play poker....

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Another gem.