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  #21  
Old 12-08-2005, 09:17 PM
[censored] [censored] is offline
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Location: Oregon
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Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

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Sounds like you're getting played dude. Classis nice guy syndrom.

The only way to break out of this is to risk the rejection and just directly state your intentions of wanting to date. Chances are your sunk but really what are risking? A freindship with some chick? Please that's worth a whole lotta nothing.

Also like Mason stated being compared to the other guys is a bad thing not a good thing. Roughly translated it means something like this "see that guy is a bad boy, I bet if he was with me I could change him" Most girls like arts & crafts whether it be stamps, making things, or guy -- it's all about having a project.

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Granted I have nothing better to work on, even if I'm drawing thin, any chance for redemption? When we first met, it was starting on the dating tip, but didn't develop. She gave me the "just no spark, its a shame because everything else would work" line. When it started back up again, her friend asked her if we were dating, and she sounded open to the idea. I think she knows I'm interested (or at least that I was). So I'm SOL, eh? Can I at least use this to my advantage in the event that I find anyone else?

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Oh man now I know for sure you are getting played big time. The girl knows you are interested in her and so she is keeping you around as a friend. This does two things, first the obvious one of having you there do her favors and two the most important one of making her feel good about herself. you are being played big time man

man you need to take emergency action her if nothing more than for yourself. first let's be clear the chances of this becoming anything are close to zero but here's what you do which will solve both problems.

#1 the next two times she calls and asks you to do something you say no thanks because you have other plans. No execptions here. The plans need to be with other people but can just be guy friends.

#2 you then after about two weeks, you call and ask her out on something that is exclusive between the two of you. something like movie or dinner or whatever. If she says she can't you immediately say ok no problem and then break contact. if she tried to change the plans to something else, no dice.

3)if she's interested she will have either said yes to going out or b) if she wasn't avaible she will make quick contact trying to set up a new date.

go ahead and post after each step.
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  #22  
Old 12-08-2005, 09:24 PM
TomCollins TomCollins is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Austin, TX
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Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

I somehow doubt the "being played" part, she just doesn't seem like that type of girl. Plus, she really isn't getting much out of me.

The gameplan would work, except, we are in communication through IM while she is out of the country. She has asked me to help her move (I have said I probably could but need to know on the date and all).

Plus, she will be long distance, so if we were going to see each other, one of us would likely make a weekend trip. Once it gets warmer, I can say I'm going to see my uncle and play golf with him, and happen to see her in the evening or so. My plan is to make one trip, see if it has any chance of developing, and seriously back off otherwise. Your gameplan would work if she was local, but that seems tough to work into this situation.
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  #23  
Old 12-08-2005, 09:27 PM
Yeti Yeti is offline
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Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

Great post.
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  #24  
Old 12-08-2005, 09:39 PM
UncleSalty UncleSalty is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Composing Vogon poetry
Posts: 513
Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

I think you're already deep in the friend zone and probably missed your chance on this one. Check out my second favorite forum for the next one:

www.sosuave.net

Happy DJ-ing bro.
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  #25  
Old 12-08-2005, 10:08 PM
slickpoppa slickpoppa is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: the cream, the clear
Posts: 631
Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

[ QUOTE ]
Once it gets warmer, I can say I'm going to see my uncle and play golf with him, and happen to see her in the evening or so. My plan is to make one trip, see if it has any chance of developing, and seriously back off otherwise. Your gameplan would work if she was local, but that seems tough to work into this situation.

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You need to make it absolutely clear why you are seeing her. Use the word "date" in the invitation. It sounds like the chances that she is interested in more than just friendship are slim, but if it is going to happen you need to be as unambiguous as possible. If she shoots you down, at least you will have closure. I can tell you from my own experiences that being shot down hurts for about a day, whereas being uncertain about where you stand and pining for something more can suck the life out of you for weeks.
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  #26  
Old 12-08-2005, 10:10 PM
TomCollins TomCollins is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 172
Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Once it gets warmer, I can say I'm going to see my uncle and play golf with him, and happen to see her in the evening or so. My plan is to make one trip, see if it has any chance of developing, and seriously back off otherwise. Your gameplan would work if she was local, but that seems tough to work into this situation.

[/ QUOTE ]

You need to make it absolutely clear why you are seeing her. Use the word "date" in the invitation. It sounds like the chances that she is interested in more than just friendship are slim, but if it is going to happen you need to be as unambiguous as possible. If she shoots you down, at least you will have closure. I can tell you from my own experiences that being shot down hurts for about a day, whereas being uncertain about where you stand and pining for something more can suck the life out of you for weeks.

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I don't think its sucking life out of me. In fact, it may be keeping me going. Perhaps that is reason alone to just give myself false hope and keep things where they are.
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  #27  
Old 12-08-2005, 10:17 PM
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Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

You are being used. Whats the hurry to be in another relationship? You'll have the rest of your life for a relationship. Bang around and have some fun.
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  #28  
Old 12-08-2005, 10:19 PM
slickpoppa slickpoppa is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: the cream, the clear
Posts: 631
Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

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I don't think its sucking life out of me. In fact, it may be keeping me going. Perhaps that is reason alone to just give myself false hope and keep things where they are.

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"Sucking the life out of you" is hyperbole, but nevertheless what you are describing is not healthy. Listen to what you are saying. You are admitting that this is a "false hope." I know it is difficult to move on when you don't have any other immediate prospects, but that is the best thing you can do.
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  #29  
Old 12-08-2005, 10:22 PM
TomCollins TomCollins is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 172
Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

[ QUOTE ]
You are being used. Whats the hurry to be in another relationship? You'll have the rest of your life for a relationship. Bang around and have some fun.

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Give me advice for how to do this. I couldn't even get laid off of myspace. I even tried going for the ugly chicks!
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  #30  
Old 12-08-2005, 10:30 PM
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Default Re: Gameplan for getting this chick... Advice Requested

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Echoing DB's advice - just make a move. You'll regret it if you don't. Str8Baller's advice is OK if you see each other alot. But since she will be pretty far away soon, time is of the essence.

Good Luck With This Foreign Chick,
-Al

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This is true. I didn't realize time was critical. I usually don't deal with long distance relationships since they never seem to work out. Just make a move like he said. I prefer not to be drunk, but if you both are and the time seems right, go for it! Timing is very important, don't move in for the kiss until you have atleast cuddled/held hands. One huge thing to look for is for her to lick her lips when you are close and face to face, that usually means she is ready to be kissed. Good luck man!!
PS. Don't ask to kiss her either. It's a huge sign of insecurity.
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