Do not open this thread if you don't like stupid dating questions. . . - Page 3

NoOuts · #21 08-03-2005, 08:46 AM

Stranger, ever think that it's not about you?

She's probably seeing her family for the first time since she started AA. She probably also has a lot of issues with her family (what alcoholic doesn't).

What I'm trying to get across is that you are not her first priority this week. With your confused relationship, she may not want to deal with you until the family is gone.

Give her a break. She is sorting a lot of stuff out, that is more important than you. (and should be!) This is why it's tough with a newbie. Remember her emotional age is only up to the age when she started drinking.

But remember, this too shall pass.

47outs · #22 08-03-2005, 08:57 AM

Tell her straight up that you like her.

Look her right in the eye and say "I like you". It will either lead to a kiss or it will be awkward. Regardless you should have an idea then.

outs

Bluffoon · #23 08-03-2005, 09:21 AM

This girl is jerking you around. Plenty of women like this. I would move on. Find a woman that has fewer issues and is emotionally available.

One great thing about relationships, even failed relationships, is that they give us an opportunity to look at ourselves and our behaviour.

I am reading your posts and I am wondering why you are agonizing so much over this girl you hardly know.

When I am single I meet lots of women that I am attracted to. Some for a variety of reasons never become more than passing acquaintances, a few I will date for a little while and something will not be right for one of us or the timing will be off and it doesn't work out and others stick for a little while. I don't worry too much about the ones that don't work out. I just move on and keep my eyes open for the next available cutie.

phlup · #24 08-03-2005, 09:39 AM

I don't know much about AA and groups like that excpt what I've read in books, but I got the impression that it was a huge no-no to become involved with someone from your group.

Is that the case or is that only for the just out of rehab groups, not the weekly AA meeting groups?

The Stranger · #25 08-03-2005, 09:45 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know much about AA and groups like that excpt what I've read in books, but I got the impression that it was a huge no-no to become involved with someone from your group.

Is that the case or is that only for the just out of rehab groups, not the weekly AA meeting groups?

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah. That's more of a rehab thing. I know plenty of people who met their spouse in a meeting, and have been happily married for a long time. I also know many whose marraiges ended horrifically. Like I was saying in the original post of the original thread, I work full-time and go to 10-11 meetings a week. It would be very tough to meet anyone anywhere else.

The Stranger · #26 08-03-2005, 09:48 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Stranger, ever think that it's not about you?

She's probably seeing her family for the first time since she started AA. She probably also has a lot of issues with her family (what alcoholic doesn't).

What I'm trying to get across is that you are not her first priority this week. With your confused relationship, she may not want to deal with you until the family is gone.

Give her a break. She is sorting a lot of stuff out, that is more important than you. (and should be!) This is why it's tough with a newbie. Remember her emotional age is only up to the age when she started drinking.

But remember, this too shall pass.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know all this. Thank you. When I don't feel right physically, I get out of whack mentally too. If "love and tolerance is our code," I surely must cut this girl some slack.

The Stranger · #27 08-03-2005, 09:50 AM

[ QUOTE ]
This girl is jerking you around. Plenty of women like this. I would move on. Find a woman that has fewer issues and is emotionally available.

[/ QUOTE ]

1. I like her. She is attractive, and a genuinely nice person (albeit kind of crazy right now).

2. I haven't had any attention from anyone in a very long time.

The Stranger · #28 08-03-2005, 06:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This girl is jerking you around. Plenty of women like this. I would move on. Find a woman that has fewer issues and is emotionally available.

[/ QUOTE ]

1. I like her. She is attractive, and a genuinely nice person (albeit kind of crazy right now).

2. I haven't had any attention from anyone in a very long time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ooops. I quoted the wrong part of Bluffoon's post, totally changing the meaning of my response. What I meant to quote was this:

[ QUOTE ]
I am reading your posts and I am wondering why you are agonizing so much over this girl you hardly know.

[/ QUOTE ]

Anyhow, things change every day, especially since both of us are mentally quirky as one might say. So I'm just going to do my best to chill over the whole thing. My friend told me this the other day, "We live one day at a time, and trust God." Doh!

hyde · #29 08-03-2005, 07:08 PM

2) the less smooth route involves you simply calling her and saying hey I feel like im getting some mixed signals here and I want to know whats up. simple as that.

you need to stop letting the girl control the relationship period.

[/ QUOTE ]

What a time and angst saving concept. This is the best, and possibly only good, advice you have recieved.

Big risk, big reward. But it is like a sit and go, you get busted, you start another....