Did all the hilarious dry up around here?

[private joker]

I just had an interesting dialogue with a tilting man at Hustler.

I hadn't said a word to seat 3 all night, and in fact didn't even really notice him at the table. But everyone was being pretty friendly and talkative, a nice vibe overall.

I'm in seat 5 and open-raise. Immediately seat 3 starts going off at me.

3: It's my blind, you know! You're raising my blind!
Me: I'm just playing my cards.
3: You raise, I call! I didn't even want to call, but you raised it, so I'll play!

I proceed to flop a set, and he bets into me. I raise. The turn fills me up. He check-calls down. I turn over my cards.

Me: I have a full house.
3: Aaaahh!!!

And he angrily throws his cards at the dealer. This is where super-tilt begins.

3: You raise my blind? Now every time you have the blind, I raise. You raise my blind, I raise yours!
Me: Why?
3: Because you raised my blind!
Me: It wasn't personal. I had the best hand.
3: I raise your blind every time from now on.
Me: Why are you taking it personally? We're just playing cards.
3: I'm not taking it personally! But when you raise my blind, I raise yours!

And of course, he did. My big blind and my small blind. The first few times I folded, and he lost the pot to limpers. The next time I flopped top pair and let him bluff into me for a couple streets. Took it down again. He's down 3 stacks since the blow-up.

3: That will teach you a lesson! Don't raise my blind, I hope you learned!
Me: Learned what?
3: Not to raise my blind!
Me: Why are you acting like I did it to you personally?
3: It's not personal, but it was my blind! Now when you're in the blind, I raise!
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
3: Good! Then don't talk to me again! Anymore!

What a shame.

[AKQJ10]

I guess he showed you, eh?

[spicychili]

[ QUOTE ]

3: Good! Then don't talk to me again! Anymore!

What a shame.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope on the next orbit you raised his blind. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[juanez]

[ QUOTE ]
Paging Juanez.Please tell us idiots still play at the Gilpin.

[/ QUOTE ]

Idiots play in every cardroom on earth. Most people are fine, but there's always a percentage that deserve a good ol' kick in the nuts.

[hfrog355]

Hahaha!!

See, that's what I wanna be reading after I bust out when flopping second set <u>THREE TIMES IN A ROW!!</u>

Nothing like a good story to make me feel better...

[whiskeytown]

I was in Carson City - playing at the Fandango -

I was on a run, letting my language get a bit colorful, and some old nit/fart who likes being the center of attenion asked if I had to swear so much.

I said "yes, goddamn it" - that pushed him pretty hard....he mentioned something about one of us going to the bathroom and jerking off, and I told him to take his time - we'd wait for him to come back.

I'm usually pretty laid back, and if you swing at me you'll get a couple freebies, but only one or two.

RB

[whiskeytown]

on my best night, the waitress at the MGM brought me a shot of Jameson...

well, more like 5 shots....I think they finished off the bottle on me, which was kind of them.....

that was a lot of free booze - [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

RB

[Pokerprowannabe]

So I'm sitting at a table in the local casino totally digging the action when i see a little tiny guy in the corner wearing a green felt cap doing jumping jacks while smoking a cigar. Now at first I'm thinking to myself, what the hell is this guy doing in a card room with a cigar? They don't allow cigars in here? And why is he so tiny? He doesn't even look 21!
So anyway, I shake it off and try to go back to playing cards when the guy next to me says... "I hear those fellas can't walk very fast". Hmm, Maybe not, but they sure can jump, I think to myself. Then I look over again, and the little tiny guy has sweat pouring off his forehead, doing jumping jacks, just going to town on his cigar like a little green Irish smokestack or something.

Now I'm really starting to freek out because I'm not sure if the guy next to me REALLY said that, or the MUSHROOMS I took are finally kicking in and I should get out of here QUICK! So I push all my chips into the pot, say I'M ALL IN! Figuring if I did that, NOBODY would dare call that raise, right? DIDN'T THINK SO! Just then the little tiny guy comes over to the table and says mushrooms? What mushrooms? I just want to go home. What are you looking at?

At that point I just had to get up and leave. I wasn't really thinking straight anyway.

[steamboatin]

if you try to make a joke thread, someone will only read about half the replys, think it is serious and then go off on a rant.

[stackm]

[ QUOTE ]
So I'm sitting at a table in the local casino totally digging the action when i see a little tiny guy in the corner wearing a green felt cap doing jumping jacks while smoking a cigar. Now at first I'm thinking to myself, what the hell is this guy doing in a card room with a cigar? They don't allow cigars in here? And why is he so tiny? He doesn't even look 21!
So anyway, I shake it off and try to go back to playing cards when the guy next to me says... "I hear those fellas can't walk very fast". Hmm, Maybe not, but they sure can jump, I think to myself. Then I look over again, and the little tiny guy has sweat pouring off his forehead, doing jumping jacks, just going to town on his cigar like a little green Irish smokestack or something.

Now I'm really starting to freek out because I'm not sure if the guy next to me REALLY said that, or the MUSHROOMS I took are finally kicking in and I should get out of here QUICK! So I push all my chips into the pot, say I'M ALL IN! Figuring if I did that, NOBODY would dare call that raise, right? DIDN'T THINK SO! Just then the little tiny guy comes over to the table and says mushrooms? What mushrooms? I just want to go home. What are you looking at?

At that point I just had to get up and leave. I wasn't really thinking straight anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is classic. Well done.