Favorite Lines at the poker table, part 2

[Demana]

I was playing 4/8 at a local B&M the other night and just took down a rather large pot.

Board was 4[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]4[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]T[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

Opponent has A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]9[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]
I turn over 4[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]5[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

Opponent: "I thought I had the percentages right."

I respond: "You had the right percentages, but the wrong cards" [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

~Demitri

[danstjohn]

I was playing 8-16 the other night and had a laugh at someone who was clueless. I am holding [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]A [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]A my opponent is holding [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]Q. Flop comes [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]5 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]5. I check opponent bets someone raises I just call and opponent just calls. Turn is [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]9.

It gets checked to me and I bet, opponent raises me I reraise and he reraises me again. I finally just call to kill him on the river. He has about $160 left and its just me and him. River comes [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]2. I bet he raises, at the casino I play at if it is down to only two remaining people there is no cap on raises. After he raises my bet I ask him if he just wants to put in his last $160 since I have over $450 left and without hesitation he says yes.

The person says "I have the nuts" and then shows [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]Q. I laugh and show Aces full of fives. He still thinks he has the best hand and takes the rack of chips he put in back. After the dealer informs him that a flush is beaten by a full house he cusses and storms out.

[Sundevils21]

you do realize you didn't have the nuts either, right?

[danstjohn]

Yea but the guy that was against me would have gone all in with two pair the way he was playing.

[CheckRaise]

He is playing 8/16 and he doesnt even know that a full house beats a flush, that is bad. Wish I could play at games like that.

[PapaSan]

Playing a single table tourney with another 2+2er, he is short sacked and i'm chip leader.Blinds are 75-150, He is first to act and raises all in to 500 or so i reraise half my stack , sb folds and big blind looks at us both and looks at his cards and takes about a minute to ponder his move then he spits out this gem after folding
" I had 2 small cards and i know you both have big cards so i wanted to call"

[dirty moose]

still my fav. only cause they were suited

[sfer]

Any time I table my hand and the dealer, referring to my kicker, says something along the lines of "King plays."

[nothumb]

Playing a small stakes NL home game with a total LAG in it.

I hold AA, three or four limpers to me in the SB, I make a slightly larger than standard raise (5x BB I think), two or three callers including one total LAG.

Flop AJJ [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I check to the LAG who bets 1/3 of the pot. Bad player calls, I think, check my cards and call.

Turn was a card from the deck of some sort.

I check, LAG bets out small, bad player calls, I call.

River was another card.

I check. LAG player, I suddenly realize, has been watching a lot of WPT, etc, because he has a new tell: he sits and pretends to think. This guy is a lunatic and any time he has any semblance of a hand he fires right out, so the only time he 'thinks,' stacks and re-stacks his chips, counts them to go all-in, etc, is when he has absolute dick. I realize this at this instant.

He bets out 1/4 of the pot. Bad player folds. I check raise him all in and say, "Higgins, I think you are completely full of [censored]."

He sits there for a minute, tries to give me a stone-cold Scotty Fischman stare, breaks out into a stupid grin and says, "I really hate you sometimes."

NT

[RydenStoompala]

Lively 10-20 game last week. Player one takes a good pot with AK, suited, pair of kings wins. Player two, on his fifth $200 re-buy in an hour shows K-2 off suit and says "I never win with that hand, but it's one of my favorites." My neighbor had to get up and go to the washroom for fear of peeing himself.