Getting tired of being white (7/11 trip report)

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
Bro and brother have a different context when it's a white guy talking to a black guy, and "my brother" used the way you use it is totally unrelated than casually tagging someone with "bro" or the like.

It does sound like you had a very corny delivery of a very corny line. I don't blame the black guy from feeling like you were trying to be an ingratiating cracker and feeling distaste about it, and that you were being ridiculous and patronizing. Your remark was some funny damn stuff. About telling you to stick it up your butt or whatever well deserved comeback he gave was a great idea, I don't know. I'm a white guy and I don't have to suffer silently through that fake friendly horsesh*t from phoney insecure white guys on probably a daily basis for decades, so I don't know how short a fuse someone else might have. You're definitely asking for trouble by being such a goofball, and you got it. It doesn't make him a nice guy for giving it to you, but it didn't exactly make you a nice guy when you did your wigger act either.

I'd call it a wash, at best.

And next time, don't be so uptight(read: fake cool, my bruthah). Black dudes are just people, and you don't need a hyped up cover story or different personality to talk to them. It's way more respectful and friendly not to point out the racial difference by doing some weird suck "my brotha" sh*t. Because if they don't matter, and they don't, then why the hell make a point of it? Especially so ridiculously.

I'm sure this will be seen as flameworthy to some, but it's an honest reading. I'd never be calling black dudes "my brother" unless I was in a Steve Martin Czechoslovakian playboys sketch on an old Saturday Night Live. Garrett Morris had an admirably thick skin for that kind of crap, especially when it was unintentional and came from people who were socially retarded.








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[/ QUOTE ]


lighten up nancy. I dont see the point of all this bullshit, i call people brother all the time, white black asian whatever, and no one has ever said anything. anyone who thinks they can pin me as a racist because i use the word brother is wound up too tight, and deserves the ulcer they probably have.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Bro and brother have a different context when it's a white guy talking to a black guy, and "my brother" used the way you use it is totally unrelated than casually tagging someone with "bro" or the like.

It does sound like you had a very corny delivery of a very corny line. I don't blame the black guy from feeling like you were trying to be an ingratiating cracker and feeling distaste about it, and that you were being ridiculous and patronizing. Your remark was some funny damn stuff. About telling you to stick it up your butt or whatever well deserved comeback he gave was a great idea, I don't know. I'm a white guy and I don't have to suffer silently through that fake friendly horsesh*t from phoney insecure white guys on probably a daily basis for decades, so I don't know how short a fuse someone else might have. You're definitely asking for trouble by being such a goofball, and you got it. It doesn't make him a nice guy for giving it to you, but it didn't exactly make you a nice guy when you did your wigger act either.

I'd call it a wash, at best.

And next time, don't be so uptight(read: fake cool, my bruthah). Black dudes are just people, and you don't need a hyped up cover story or different personality to talk to them. It's way more respectful and friendly not to point out the racial difference by doing some weird suck "my brotha" sh*t. Because if they don't matter, and they don't, then why the hell make a point of it? Especially so ridiculously.

I'm sure this will be seen as flameworthy to some, but it's an honest reading. I'd never be calling black dudes "my brother" unless I was in a Steve Martin Czechoslovakian playboys sketch on an old Saturday Night Live. Garrett Morris had an admirably thick skin for that kind of crap, especially when it was unintentional and came from people who were socially retarded.








.

[/ QUOTE ]


lighten up nancy. I dont see the point of all this bullshit, i call people brother all the time, white black asian whatever, and no one has ever said anything. anyone who thinks they can pin me as a racist because i use the word brother is wound up too tight, and deserves the ulcer they probably have.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't ask you to like the answer any more than you would ask me to not think you're calling people brother and thinking it was cool is not ridiculous.

It's still correct, and calling black people brother is pretty stupid. If you can't see why, that's your problem.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Bro and brother have a different context when it's a white guy talking to a black guy, and "my brother" used the way you use it is totally unrelated than casually tagging someone with "bro" or the like.

It does sound like you had a very corny delivery of a very corny line. I don't blame the black guy from feeling like you were trying to be an ingratiating cracker and feeling distaste about it, and that you were being ridiculous and patronizing. Your remark was some funny damn stuff. About telling you to stick it up your butt or whatever well deserved comeback he gave was a great idea, I don't know. I'm a white guy and I don't have to suffer silently through that fake friendly horsesh*t from phoney insecure white guys on probably a daily basis for decades, so I don't know how short a fuse someone else might have. You're definitely asking for trouble by being such a goofball, and you got it. It doesn't make him a nice guy for giving it to you, but it didn't exactly make you a nice guy when you did your wigger act either.

I'd call it a wash, at best.

And next time, don't be so uptight(read: fake cool, my bruthah). Black dudes are just people, and you don't need a hyped up cover story or different personality to talk to them. It's way more respectful and friendly not to point out the racial difference by doing some weird suck "my brotha" sh*t. Because if they don't matter, and they don't, then why the hell make a point of it? Especially so ridiculously.

I'm sure this will be seen as flameworthy to some, but it's an honest reading. I'd never be calling black dudes "my brother" unless I was in a Steve Martin Czechoslovakian playboys sketch on an old Saturday Night Live. Garrett Morris had an admirably thick skin for that kind of crap, especially when it was unintentional and came from people who were socially retarded.








.

[/ QUOTE ]


lighten up nancy. I dont see the point of all this bullshit, i call people brother all the time, white black asian whatever, and no one has ever said anything. anyone who thinks they can pin me as a racist because i use the word brother is wound up too tight, and deserves the ulcer they probably have.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't ask you to like the answer any more than you would ask me to not think you're calling people brother and thinking it was cool is not ridiculous.

It's still correct, and calling black people brother is pretty stupid. If you can't see why, that's your problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont think its cool. Its just something that ive always said, I think my dad or one of my uncles calls everyone brother, so I picked it up when I was young. I just never thought abotu the ramifications of it, becasue anyone who is tight assed enough to call me a racist for saying thigns like that is nto worth my time. If everyone were like me, there would be no racism, its the people who have to start up with the issue that perpetuate the hate, imo.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
I dont think its cool. Its just something that ive always said, I think my dad or one of my uncles calls everyone brother, so I picked it up when I was young. I just never thought abotu the ramifications of it, becasue anyone who is tight assed enough to call me a racist for saying thigns like that is nto worth my time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm ... so you're saying both that you've never thought about it the ramifications, but if there are any, you've already determined it must be that someone else is the party who is looking at things the wrong way?

A better approach to things you haven't thought through the ramifications of is clearly to put yourself on the same footing as them and step back from the situation, not just grant yourself a free pass on your unexamined behavior and make the other guy into the bad guy automatically.

There's nothing wrong with having the ability to not react to confrontations by going into a defensive shell or automatically having the attitude of attacking back. Sometimes, we can just do things a better way. It's worth thinking about if making special allowances for people might be doing things a better way. It would hardly kill ya, and being respectful of people is not the huge sacrifice that so many people seem to think it is. You don't have to like or agree with someone's point of view to respect them and treat them decently. And it's really nuts to turn them into the bad guy when you get caught out at being a clod.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I dont think its cool. Its just something that ive always said, I think my dad or one of my uncles calls everyone brother, so I picked it up when I was young. I just never thought abotu the ramifications of it, becasue anyone who is tight assed enough to call me a racist for saying thigns like that is nto worth my time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm ... so you're saying both that you've never thought about it the ramifications, but if there are any, you've already determined it must be that someone else is the party who is looking at things the wrong way?

A better approach to things you haven't thought through the ramifications of is clearly to put yourself on the same footing as them and step back from the situation, not just grant yourself a free pass on your unexamined behavior and make the other guy into the bad guy automatically.

There's nothing wrong with having the ability to not react to confrontations by going into a defensive shell or automatically having the attitude of attacking back. Sometimes, we can just do things a better way. It's worth thinking about if making special allowances for people might be doing things a better way. It would hardly kill ya, and being respectful of people is not the huge sacrifice that so many people seem to think it is. You don't have to like or agree with someone's point of view to respect them and treat them decently. And it's really nuts to turn them into the bad guy when you get caught out at being a clod.

[/ QUOTE ]

no, the point is I HAVE HAD NO RAMIFICATIONS. I dont pander, by changing the way you speak to certain people, it alienates them, becaue THEY KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT. Ive never, other than one time (probably becaue the kid was drunk), ever had any problem like hte OP. I am not labeling anyone but the white folks in this thread for being bad guys. you change your words because you think that you knwo how someone acts just because they are not hte same color as you...that is blatant racism imo.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I dont think its cool. Its just something that ive always said, I think my dad or one of my uncles calls everyone brother, so I picked it up when I was young. I just never thought abotu the ramifications of it, becasue anyone who is tight assed enough to call me a racist for saying thigns like that is nto worth my time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm ... so you're saying both that you've never thought about it the ramifications, but if there are any, you've already determined it must be that someone else is the party who is looking at things the wrong way?

A better approach to things you haven't thought through the ramifications of is clearly to put yourself on the same footing as them and step back from the situation, not just grant yourself a free pass on your unexamined behavior and make the other guy into the bad guy automatically.

There's nothing wrong with having the ability to not react to confrontations by going into a defensive shell or automatically having the attitude of attacking back. Sometimes, we can just do things a better way. It's worth thinking about if making special allowances for people might be doing things a better way. It would hardly kill ya, and being respectful of people is not the huge sacrifice that so many people seem to think it is. You don't have to like or agree with someone's point of view to respect them and treat them decently. And it's really nuts to turn them into the bad guy when you get caught out at being a clod.

[/ QUOTE ]

no, the point is I HAVE HAD NO RAMIFICATIONS. I dont pander, by changing the way you speak to certain people, it alienates them, becaue THEY KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT. Ive never, other than one time (probably becaue the kid was drunk), ever had any problem like hte OP. I am not labeling anyone but the white folks in this thread for being bad guys. you change your words because you think that you knwo how someone acts just because they are not hte same color as you...that is blatant racism imo.

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That's absolutely miserable logic.

I'm outta this thread now. If "nowhere" had degrees, I'd rather not explore them any further as this thread spirals downward into yet further stupidity.

[B Dids]

I usually lean towards the PC side of things, but I think you're off base here.

The fact is that there does exist a group of people who simply refer to everybody else as "brother". It's one of those weird things that isn't really regional, but we all know it exists.

While if you were really thinking, it's probably on the polite side of things to avoid saying that to somebody who might take it the wrong way, but at the same time I think it's fair that a plack person in this spot understand that the person is likely not using the word with the same meaning.

The original poster clearly has some issues with race, and is overreacting and projecting some attitude onto the guy he met. However, it does sound like the guy he met probably overreacted.

[vulturesrow]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
The original poster clearly has some issues with race, and is overreacting and projecting some attitude onto the guy he met.

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Wow you figured all that out just from a post on an internet discussion board. Bravo.

[B Dids]

This is far from his first post where he's come off like a bigot.

[vulturesrow]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
This is far from his first post where he's come off like a bigot.

[/ QUOTE ]

What exactly persuaded you that he is a bigot? Because he calls black people brother?