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I knew party poker blackjack would be the end of me...
Well almost at least...
I am a student. My only income is poker. I pay all of my bills except for tuition (paid for by my parents). For nearly the past 3 months I have found it very hard to get motivated to put in the hours playing poker. Basicly my playing schedule would be play a ton for a couple days, run good, then take weeks off. I played anywhere from 2-4 to 5-10 consistently, and occasionally 10-20 when running good. Tonight while sittin around bored playing in the 2+2 tournement on stars I decided to open up party and play a little blackjack. Six hours earlier today I had a small 10-20 BR. It took me about one hour to lose most of it. I must have seen the coldest blackjack deck in history. I basicly tilted playing blackjack, and before I knew it I was sweating making maxbets over and over, and losing almost every time. I'm now sitting with about a $1,600 BR. I am SOOOO pissed off at myself. I am not really worried about building my BR back up as I dont see it as being much of a problem. I sometimes played 2-4 anyways when I didnt feel well or I was stressed out. I figure I can still make $25-$50/hr depending on how many tables and if I'm clearing boni. Plus it will only be a week or so of playing before I will move back up to 3-6. I talked to my brother and he said what I did resembled the beginnings of gambling addiction. I've never had a problem like this before tonight. I dont feel poker has anything to do with it so I see no need to think about giving poker up. Anyways basicly if I had lost my entire BR it would have been detrimental. I only have about 2.5k in my bank account. I am so lucky I stopped when I did so I still have the BR to re-build. I am still SOOOOO pissed off at myself. I see two possibly good things coming out of this experiance. 1. It will motivate me to start putting the hours in again becasue I have to. 2. Maybe if I do have some sort of potential gambling problem this will be my wakeup call. I dont really have anything else to say. Just venting, Id like to hear what others have to say about this. |
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