Well I've hit Rock Bottom

[Angelic_Ace]

It wasnt exactly my whole bankroll I have money in stocks and savings. I had a 5k+ bankroll for a while when I was 4 tabling the 55s. Due to a lot of real life demands lately I had to take out a few thousand. I am playing slightly above my bankroll, as in the amount I have in my account, but I have reserves if I run horribly. Anyway I've been very stressed out about losing my job, and other factors, it all just kind of boiled over yesterday.

Also, I am not exactly 'going pro'. I am giving it a shot, but I have a few job options available if I desire, or I have considered going back to school. Sorry that my post was overdramatic, and I appreciate all the honest advice.

[JFB37]

Play live. Much easier to win.

[Python49]

Played for 2 years at 30 hours a week and had a 5k roll? While having another source of income? [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Angelic_Ace]

Well I started out at the lowest levels, and built my way up from 50 bucks. I also have withdraw money a number of times *shrug* Anyway Im a whiner, and I suck , end of thread.

i don't know how people handle the variance. like tonight here were my session results in BB:

-10.75
-19.25
+5.75
+31.50
+18.25
+19.75
-22.75
-8.25

and that's in order by time. i start out getting absolutely nothing, then hit the hot streak of my life, then end up missing everything again (i won literally 0 hands in the last two sessions). up, down, up, with nothing marginal in between. drives me nuts, it's a rollercoaster.

[Yeti]

I PM'ed you.

[Al Schoonmaker]

There is a huge inconsistency in your post. You state: "despite playing what I think is the best poker of my life. It almost seems personal, as if life is trying to tell me to quit playing."

You then describe your state of mind.

It is EXTREMELY unlikely that you are "playing the best poker of your life" in that state of mind. People who feel that they are "innocent victims" don't play their best. In fact, they probably play poorly.

Some people have expressed doubts about your ability to play as a full time pro. I share those doubts.

If you can't handle swings, the life of the full time pro is not a good choice.

Regards,

Al

[imported_bingobazza]

30 hours a week for 2 years and 5k profit is about $2 an hour...surely you can get a better paying job than that?

The effect of the downswing means you're not mentally or financially prepared...if you cant accept that these runs (and some a lot lot worse) will (and should) happen and that the universe isnt against you, you are kidding yourself and that lack of honesty will cost you more in the long run.

Your added pressure from having no other income and an completely inadequate bankroll. I keep to 300 buy ins for SNGs and 100 for NL cash...some will undoubtedly say thats OTT, but I know myself and it just makes me FEEL safer which is a comfort during a downswing. I learned the hard way.

My advice is to get a job until your bankroll is so big that these bad runs dont affect you like this. Welcome the bad runs when they come, the next big upswing is just around the corner.

Bingo.