Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship

[lennytheduck]

Ok, so here is the scoop. I'm a junior in college in a demanding major and I have aspirations of going to med school. I'll be taking the MCAT in April and a result I have next to no free time on my hands starting two days ago, not even to play p****. Over the summer, I started dating this girl. It's been over 4 months now and it's definitely the real deal. She's fun, im wholly attracted to her, and she understands that I have other stuff going on and doesn't need me to be around all the time, nor is she clingy. I can see us staying together a long time and maybe even getting married some day, who knows. Basically, she's just way cooler than any other girl I've ever really known or been with. Here is a picture of her; she's the one on the left: GF

The one thing about her is that she is kind of jealous. I can talk about other girls as much as I want in front of her and it's no big deal but as soon as I go and talk to someone that she isn't friends with while she is around she gets pissed about it, sometimes openly and admittedly, and sometimes not. While she definitely keeps me on my toes, she's not exactly a MENSA threat, and sometimes leaves me wanting for a serious conversation/discussion and intellectual stimulation that comes with them. I'm the kind that likes to have those fairly often. Though I might add that my GF is excellent at other forms of stimulation, which is quite nice.

So we are at the library the other day and this girl that I had a huge crush on Freshman year walks by and we start talking in front of my GF. This girl and I are friends in that we stop and talk whenever we see one another to see how everything is going but we don't hang out separately or anything like that (obviously). We certainly aren't "good friends" but I would like it if we were. She's really bright and cute and funny, possessing some of the things my girlfriend does not. Here is a picture of her, again on the left, as I know that is required on these hallowed pages: Friend that's a Girl
So what I want to know is this: How should I go about continuing/starting friendly relationships with other girls without getting under my girlfriend's skin? I'd like to clarify that I have no intentions whatsoever of breaking up with my girlfriend, cheating on her, etc. It's just too good a thing to mess up. I simply want to be be able to hang out with other girls. Though in the case of the girl above, that might be somewhat of a euphemism for keeping our friendship on a level amenable to possible advancement should my current GF and I go by the wayside. I dunno.

So I ask you, OOT, am I asking too much? Is there any way to get the best of both worlds of GF and friend or is there no woman in existence who is fully comfortable with this? All thoughts appreciated.

[InchoateHand]

Read other threads. You don't really want to be friends with those other girls, you want to [censored] them. Stop lying to yourself.


Pretending, in the abstract, that you really don't want to [censored] them and just want to talk to them. Tell your girlfriend to learn to [censored] deal with it, because in any work and social environment, outside of the Russian baths, there are going to be other women.

Oh, and you two will break up anyway once the proximity thing is gone.

[Vavavoom]

The first link is broken...

Fix that and I'll let u know what I think....

This is the 2nd Chick !

[RunDownHouse]

Quick, edit and fix your links.

I know you should always be prepared, but if you're lining up backup plans, maybe you aren't as in love as you think.

[jakethebake]

Stick to having stimulating, intellectual relationships with men or tell your girlfriend to deal with it and don't give you [censored]. Those are your options.

Personally, I kind of understand where you're coming from. I like having stimulating conversation with women. They offer a different perspective on things. They are good for talking to about things that men don't talk about with each other. I actually wish I had more female friends that were willing to just be friends that I could talk to.

Women are cats. They hate each other. That's why we men lie to women.

You think we like to lie? We have to. Don't deny what we men have been doing for thousands of years.

[Pyromaniac]

OP, first link is still broken. yields "We're sorry, your session has timed out. To return to this shared album, please click on the 'View album' link in the invitation email." for me.

[ QUOTE ]
I like having stimulating conversation with women. They offer a different perspective on things. They are good for talking to about things that men don't talk about with each other. I actually wish I had more female friends that were willing to just be friends that I could talk to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, this is an interesting juxtaposition with the "wife's new buddy" thread. Where do they converge? Maybe it's a modification of the men/women as friends thing. Men & women can be friends *as long as* the sex *doesn't* get in the way? For some people, certain situations, it's (relatively) easy to keep the sex out of the equation. For others, not.

[Slim Pickens]

[ QUOTE ]
The one thing about her is that she is kind of jealous.

[/ QUOTE ]

You've been seeing her for four months and she's already jealous of your interaction with other humans? She thinks she owns you. For as much [censored] as men take for objectifying women physically, women do the same thing in a social context and no one seems to care. You are an object that fulfills a purpose in her life: man-thing.

There are women that are comfortable with a man having relationships with other women. Many are comfortable with those relationships being social. Fewer are comfortable with those being physical. Unfortunately, you'll probably never get to exploit the fact that men can have a physical relationship with no social meaning because (almost all) women can't so this. BUT, women can have social relationships with no physical meaning, so if she won't let you, then you're getting the ass end of a double standard she holds.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I like having stimulating conversation with women. They offer a different perspective on things. They are good for talking to about things that men don't talk about with each other. I actually wish I had more female friends that were willing to just be friends that I could talk to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, this is an interesting juxtaposition with the "wife's new buddy" thread. Where do they converge? Maybe it's a modification of the men/women as friends thing. Men & women can be friends *as long as* the sex *doesn't* get in the way? For some people, certain situations, it's (relatively) easy to keep the sex out of the equation. For others, not.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think if there's a hard wall up in terms of NO SEX or other male-female type emotional attachment, and you both know the wall is there, it leaves you open to talk about a lot of things. There's only a problem if one of you either violates the wall or is afraid the other one will.

[RED_RAIN]

I'll place money you have either cheated on other girls or likely aren't ready to settle down.